Hi everyone!
I've wanted to write about this for so long but have put it off. Today I promised myself to just sit down and write it out...
When I was in the middle of HG suffering, a woman named Kathy came to see me. She had been through HG 5 times herself and had 2 children. Her HG was so severe! And yet she is really the most positive woman I have ever met. She is a friend of my parents, and when she heard that I had HG, she came over the next day to talk with me.
Her perspective on HG was so amazing. She talked about how grateful she is for the lessons that she learned from suffering so greatly. Her words will never leave me. She said, "Most women only get a baby out of pregnancy. We get so much more!" Kathy feels that HG gave her a new outlook on life - and that outlook makes her very grateful for so many things. I remember her words about how she appreciates the small things in life: "Colors are brighter, nature is more beautiful, life is more precious" after surviving HG. She said that she has more compassion for people who suffer from cancer or other diseases. She knows what it is to go through the most horrible suffering - and to survive it with grace.
At the time, I was connected to a feeding tube and taking more meds than I can recall, so her words didn't fully sink in. But over the years, I have come to appreciate them as truth. Although I wouldn't have signed up for HG in a million years, I am now more grateful for HG than I am for almost anything else in life. The lessons I learned from HG are powerful ones, and I am thankful everyday for what I learned. Colors really are brighter, the sky is more beautiful, sunsets are worth watching, etc. I agree with Kathy that HG suffering helps me to be compassionate toward others who suffer - not only from HG but from other diseases/conditions. HG makes me so grateful to have a beautiful, healthy, bright, funny daughter that I am around to enjoy everyday. HG helped me realize that there are so many little things to be grateful for - brushing my teeth without gagging, taking a shower by myself, eating a meal without being ready to see it again, driving a car, taking a walk, etc. HG taught me to rely completely on other people, which was very difficult for me. It helped me understand how much my mom loves me, for I am an HG baby myself. And HG taught me more about God's love for me than any other experience in my life. I could not have made it without Him.
I realize that HG is not something any of us would ever seek, but Kathy helped me see that it is not a completely negative experience. The suffering is more horrible than I care to remember, and yet the lessons I learned from my experiences help me every day. Kathy's visit changed me and changed my life. It helped me to be thankful for the hardest time in my life, and it helped me to take that horrible time and use it for good.
Because of this remarkable woman's words and perspective, I feel that my HG story is a story of realized hopes.
My thoughts are always with all of you...
- Anna