Surrogacy Questions

Share your questions about and experiences with adoption or surrogacy pregnancy alternatives.

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Surrogacy Questions

Postby ashleymoore65 » Jun 18, 2004 3:20 pm

Does anyone know anyone who has used a family member as a surrogate? My sister has offered to be a carrier for us but I am not sold on the emotional issues yet. I am having a hard time giving up the whole pregnancy thing even though it is miserable and we lost our last baby a few months ago. I have posted questions on some of the surrogacy sites but I have received any responses. I am just really unsure about so many things right now! :? I also don't want my sister to have any problems physically or emotionally...
Pregnant with #3. Praying for healthy baby abd live birth! Mommy to son Greyson- born 8/19/01, baby Moore lost at 15 weeks 3/09/04 and Mommy to Grant 6/29/ 2005. Severe HG with all 3 pregnancies. TPN, PICC, Zofran Pump, Hospitalization, Home Health Care, you know the drill!
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Postby leah44 » Jul 06, 2004 12:54 pm

Hi. We thought of asking my sister-in-law but my husband thought it would be too weird for him to handle.

My sister asked me to donate an egg for her to carry and I did agree to that. She told me that our eggs are of exactly the same make-up. She wanted me to do it because I already had a child (and was planning on having another). She didn't want to ask our other sister because she had no children and she was worried about the emotional issues.

My only condition was that she put me as the guardian of her child in her will. Oh, and of course, that she pay all medical bills.

Although it's not carrying a child, donating an egg can have similar emotional issues. If your sister has children, then things may be different than if she doesn't. Also, is your husband/partner okay with this? My husband was a bit weirded out that I was going to have a child with another man & I had to assure him that my sister & my eggs were the same and that I would think of the child as our niece/nephew & not mine. It might be strange for your H/P to think of your sister having your child.

Hope that helps,
Leah
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Postby Alison » Aug 25, 2005 3:41 am

ashleymoore65,

I noticed that you posted this over a year ago. I am considering the same thing with my sister-in-law. Have you come to any conclussions? I also noticed that you live in Frisco, my husband and I are moving to Anna just north of Frisco in about a week. Let me know if you have found out anything more and what your thoughts are now about the idea. I am very currious.

Sincerely,
Alison
-5 Little Angel Babies with Jesus-
www.enivamembers.com/vitalhealth
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Postby nomore » Aug 25, 2005 10:35 am

One of my SIL and my best friend both offered to be a surrogate for me. My Dh really wasnt on board with the idea... he felt it was just to strange for him. On the same note, I was quite hesitant myself to consider it. Adoption was also something we truly strugged with considering as well (and I DO think its a WONDERFUL thing to give a home to a child). In the end, we agreed (since we already had 1 happy, healthy child) that if we couldnt achieve pregnancy ourselves than we had to remember we were already blessed.

I am not knocking surrogacy or adoption at all.... its just such an emotional rollercoaster to ride... so many things to really consider... just like an HG pregnancy (rollercoaster wise) too :(

Best of luck with your descions :)

Robin
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Postby Alison » Aug 25, 2005 5:38 pm

I know what you mean Robin,

I have questions regarding jealousy of someone else carrying our baby, being able to feel the baby kicking and moving, being able to talk to the baby whenever. The bonding with the baby, baby hearing me continually or someone else's voice. Being able to control what goes into my baby - though with HG pretty much nothing went into my body, it only came out... so I guess junk food would be better than no food. :wink:

Anyway, if it doesn't work out then dh and I will concider adopting. We really do want children and we will look at all the options. Gosh, if they could only come up with some way to make HG bearable! Sheesh!

Anyway, thanks for your response!

Sincerely,
Alison
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www.enivamembers.com/vitalhealth
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