by Ivydragon » Jun 10, 2004 12:21 pm
We have a forum where you can post your story of grief. We also have a forum where women who have terminated will be trying to conceive again. They know how you feel, even if you cannot face another pg (and we ALL get to that point, someday), you will know for sure that they have walked in your shoes. We also have a forum for healing emotionally from HG. The toll HG takes is so far reaching.
I am so sorry for your loss. I miscarried a year ago, and although not the same as your situation, it's the closest thing I have experienced to relate to yours. It took me far longer than I could have imagined to heal emotionally. I think the very luckiest part of healing for me was the children I already had. They made me focus on today, and tomorrow, and the future, instead of what I had lost. I also received tremendous support from other HGers who are now here at this new forum. They remembered my due date passing when not even my husband remembered. It meant the world to me to know that I had support whenever I could reach out and admit I needed it.
I had suggestions from many women: float a candle on the water to say goodbye. Plant a bush or tree to represent the life you've lost. Go on a trip to get away. Day by day things were easier, just the smallest tiny bit. Week by week I was swept forward with time, and month by month it was a little easier (ok, except when I had PMS, and then it was awful). Passing my due date was so tough, and that was January, and you know what? I miscarried a year and several days ago, and didn't even reallize I'd passed that date! Wow. I don't even feel like I'm exactly the same woman I was a year ago. I've made changes in my life that I do not regret, moved into a new home in a new place, started new music work, and rededicated myself to my family. I've come to terms with God's timeline for my family, and am content to wait to adopt until the time is right for us. I look more forward than I ever have. Maybe it's because I hate too much of my past, but I also have peace in my heart for how things are now.
Take one day at a time, and post about how you are. Support is one of the best cruches to lean on, and you are NOT alone.
Huge hugs, Andy
Mom to Aaron 14 (HG), Anna 11 (HG), Adam 8 (adopted), Andrew 8 (adopted), fostering a newborn . . .