hi,
i have been poking around this board and the delphiforums board for years now. i post every once in a great while, so i am sort of new here. i have just found out yesterday that i am pg again for the 4th time. this was not a planned pg and i haven't even told my dh yet. i feel like i will give him the 4th of july weekend with out the anxiety of worring about hg before i tell him.
I am a complete wreck. I am almost 4 wks pg and still feeling fine. the hg seems to hit me at about 6 weeks. i am obsesed with hg coming to plague me. i can't sleep at night worring about how i'm going to get through it. i cry all the time about what this will do to my children and my husband. i'm not sure if it is worth it this time. i'm feeling hopeless.
i have never really been able to get anyone to help me with my other kids when i have hg and why should this time be any different. i end up neglecting them and they eat whatever they can find in the pantry and watch tv all day. i had to force myself out of bed a couple of times a day just to make sure they are still alive. my husband is almost useless because he has to work so much and then resents the fact that he has to get his own supper and put the kids to bed. he can't handle the stress of it and i don't think he really understands what hg is like for me. even if i do hire a babysitter i will still be putting a huge burden on my kids and husband. i will lay in bed depressed and in pain. the guilt of missing out on the fun and lives of my children, letting them come a few times to give me a kiss. i'm balling my eyes out just thinking about it...never mind the unbearable physical pain of hg. my baby is not even 18 months old and still bf. i don't think i can do this. how will i do this and take care of 3 kids?
is it worth it?
kim
2x hg survivor (didn't have hg with my 1st pg)
expecting #4 in early march 2005