I have been a fan of your show for a long time. In spite of myself, I sometimes hear the phrase, "So how's that working for you?" slipping out of my mouth when talking to friends and family with issues going on.
I am beyond thrilled that you are going to focus part of your show on HG. I think it's brave of you. I've been an actress (theatre) for a long time, and I know how the entertainment business can work. Talking about relentless vomiting and nausea doesn't make for a "sexy" story. Talking about pregnant women needing massive amounts of drugs - or aborting wanted children- makes people angry. They don't want to think about it. And thus it's twice as important to get the word out, because so many women who have this horrible disease suffer alone- misunderstood, not taken seriously, judged.
Here's my story:
My husband and I had been trying to have a baby for almost a year. When we found out on January 15th 2005 that I was pregnant, we were ecstatic. I am an extremely healthy, active person...vegetarian, long walks every day...I planned on an utterly healthy pregnancy with lots of wholesome foods (my first call after my parents was to a nutritionist!) and pre-natal yoga classes. I was determined not to take not so much as an aspirin during my pregnancy.
I never could have imagined in my how different my experience would be from what I had planned... By the first week of February - mere WEEKS after finding out we were expecting- I had lost almost 10% of my bodyweight from severe Hyperemesis and needed to be hospitalized as an inpatient. I had gone from 118 pounds to 106. I was trapped in an utter nightmare of debilitating nausea that lasted every waking moment. I felt as if I had been poisoned. I spent most of my days lying on the couch with my eyes closed- if I happened to look across the room too fast it would start a cycle of vomiting. In addition to a second inpatient hospital stay that lasted almost a week, I ended up needing to have home nursing care- I was on IV's 24 hours a day for a month. I had a medication pump that needed to be reinserted into my leg with a needle every 12 hours for two months. I will never forget calling my OB sobbing because I had to sign a paper for the pump stating that I wouldn't hold the company responsible if the baby had birth defects or died from the drugs. My OB told me that there was a greater risk of the baby having brain damage from my dehydration, so I should sign the paper. What kind of choice is that to have to make?????? My Mom flew across the county to stay with us so that I would be cared for while my husband was at work. There were rumors going around my apartment building that I was dying of cancer. This was supposed to be the happiest, most exciting time in my life!
I was much improved by my 5th month, but still was sick enough to require anti-vomiting pills daily until I delivered my precious child. Naomi Soleil Sxxxxxx was born full term on September 23, 2005, weighing 5 pounds, 7 ounces. She is an amazing little person, and an absolute joy to be around- happy, outgoing, talking a mile a minute, fearless!
I can honestly say she was worth every second of suffering, but it was so hard to keep that in mind at the time. I also have unending love for the people who got her and me though HG safely- my wonderful OB, my husband, my Mom and the rest of my family, a few committed friends, and the incredible women on helpher.org.
HG robs entire families of joy. A few days after her birth I remember telling my OB that I didn't feel like I had been pregnant...I felt like I was sick for nine months and then was handed a baby. And now, as we are considering weather or no to ever have another child, we are faced with questions and issues that seem so...unfair. In addition to just thinking, 'Will we be able to afford two college educations? Need a bigger house? How will it change our lives?" We've got: "Will it cause emotional damage to our daughter if I can't take care of her during the pregnancy? If I can't pick her up and hug and kiss her because it causes me to vomit uncontrollably? Who WILL take care of her AND me? Will I be strong enough physically and emotionally to go through another HG pregnancy? What if it's worse? How will I have the energy after that to take care of a newborn AND a toddler? Will Naomi get to visit me if I'm hospitalized? How would she handle seeing Mommy with needles in her body, attached to an IV, sick day after day? How will the stress of HG affect our marriage?" Etc, etc, etc....
Sigh. I try to look for good effects of HG, and I have found some, believe it or not....even beyond my beautiful girl. I thought I'd share them with you....
I never take my health (or the health of my loved ones) for granted anymore.
I have so much more empathy, compassion, and understanding for people who have long-term, chronic illnesses. For people who are hospitalized for any length of time.
I appreciate the ability to actually enjoy food and drink.
I know I am stronger than I ever realized, because I went through complete, utter physical HELL and came out of it intact. There is real pride in that.
My priorities are straight now- more than before the pregnancy, and more than they would have been if my pregnancy had been easy.
I feel such a bond with Naomi, not just because she is my daughter, but because we fought an incredible battle together, and we won.
I also have a real appreciation now of how much just a little bit of kindness can mean to someone suffering. My brother's friend's wife had HG with her pregnancies and she helped me get through it. I am so grateful for the opportunity to pass that kind of support on to others through this website. You are showing that sort of kindness by publicizing this disease.
So, Dr. Phil, thank you for getting the word out about HG. It means so much to me, to my family, and to the other women on this site.
Warmly,
Andrea M. M. Sxxxxx