From an HGer's Mother
Posted: Feb 28, 2007 12:11 amDr. Phil,
As I've started this letter so many times, I've had to write and re-write. There are so many things I want to say that trying to choose the "right" words to convey my heartfelt feelings has become increasingly difficult. My daughter is an HG survivor. First of all, I'm a nurse. I have lots of E.R. experience, and numerous years of other nursing fields. Last year when my daughter and son-in-law told me they were pregnant, we all could not have been happier. By the 7th week of pregnancy Jamie (my daughter) began to get very sick. Yes, I'm guilty. I told her the same as they all have been told. "It's morning sickness, etc." Well, 3 days later when I saw her, I felt ashamed, ridden with guilt and began to "get on my mission" to help her. I knew this was beyond morning sickness. Like all the other women that have gone through this, we were told all the same things in the E.R. I became infuriated. My fellow co-workers in the nursing field were as ignorant about this ugly disease as I was. But, what kept me true to my mission is the one fact that "I know my daughter!!!" I knew how much she wanted this baby. I knew how strong she was and I knew that in order to keep the smile off her face, we had to be dealing with some kind of monster. To truthfully tell you the anguish that goes along with watching someone go through this, it would take days and months. I watched my child, lifeless, depressed, vomiting blood, having to have help getting a bath, having to have help to get to the restroom. Washing her hair was a dreaded nightmare. My daughter and I are very close. There were times when I had to remind her that she would get through this. There were times when during her violent vomiting, I would remind her what a beautiful gift she would have at the end of this journey. All the time, praying that I wasn't lying to her. Because, in all honesty, I was scared to death. I had no idea what we were dealing with. All I did know for sure, was that she had a PERFECT husband, a loving family and above everything else, I knew that whatever was to come, we were doing it together. I felt helpless. I'm a nurse, I should be able to fix this. I couldn't!!! In my nursing career I have seen many ugly disease processess. But, I can tell you that HG is something that can and will absolutely rip your very being apart. The unknown, the fears, the depression....worrying about your loved one that you are watching around the clock....worrying about the baby that she is carrying....praying that she will continue to carry this baby.....wondering HOW she is still carrying it.....the list goes on and on. I watched my daughter lay there lifeless. I watched as nurses came in and stuck her in excess of 8-10 times trying to get an IV without success. Three times in the hospital, and once in the doctors office, I stepped in and asked to start her IV myself. I don't know if it was the look in my eyes, or fear itself, but each time they allowed me to do it. And, I will tell you now, that I was only successful getting IV's on her because God led me all the way.
I am shocked at our medical community that there is not more information out there about HG. As I've looked back over my time spent in the E.R. I realize that I don't believe there are any studies (follow up) that monitor this. During the course of a week, I probably will see 10 women in the first trimester that come in with nausea and vomiting. We load them up with fluid and send them home. That's standard procedure. What we don't know, is how many of those women truly do have "normal" morning sickness and how many of those are in the beginning stages of HG. If there was closer monitoring of this, we could follow up, get treatment quicker, more aggressive, etc. But, each E.R. visit will stand alone, unless an E.R. doctor requests old charts. And even then, during the fast pace, patients get lost in the shuffle. It doesn't sound pretty, but it's the truth.
I can not thank you enough for airing this monster. Putting a face on it that will make it easier to recognize. Perhaps make all of us in the medical profession more knowledgable, more compassionate.
Dr. Phil, as much as I want to thank you for what you are doing, I'm going to ask you to please take a moment and recognize these wonderful ladies on helpher.org for being who they are. I will forever hold them close to my heart. They answered my questions, calmed my fears, you name it, they did it. God led me to helpher.org. There I found the support, the guidance, and in my terms...the ANGELS!! I am proud to say that I am now the grandmother (Nana) of a beautiful, healthy 2 month old little boy named Kolton Cade Kramer!!! He is a true miracle. But, I will also tell you that the feelings that go along with watching your child go through HG will NEVER leave me. Please, please help us to help these wonderful heroes.......the survivors of HG!!!
As I've started this letter so many times, I've had to write and re-write. There are so many things I want to say that trying to choose the "right" words to convey my heartfelt feelings has become increasingly difficult. My daughter is an HG survivor. First of all, I'm a nurse. I have lots of E.R. experience, and numerous years of other nursing fields. Last year when my daughter and son-in-law told me they were pregnant, we all could not have been happier. By the 7th week of pregnancy Jamie (my daughter) began to get very sick. Yes, I'm guilty. I told her the same as they all have been told. "It's morning sickness, etc." Well, 3 days later when I saw her, I felt ashamed, ridden with guilt and began to "get on my mission" to help her. I knew this was beyond morning sickness. Like all the other women that have gone through this, we were told all the same things in the E.R. I became infuriated. My fellow co-workers in the nursing field were as ignorant about this ugly disease as I was. But, what kept me true to my mission is the one fact that "I know my daughter!!!" I knew how much she wanted this baby. I knew how strong she was and I knew that in order to keep the smile off her face, we had to be dealing with some kind of monster. To truthfully tell you the anguish that goes along with watching someone go through this, it would take days and months. I watched my child, lifeless, depressed, vomiting blood, having to have help getting a bath, having to have help to get to the restroom. Washing her hair was a dreaded nightmare. My daughter and I are very close. There were times when I had to remind her that she would get through this. There were times when during her violent vomiting, I would remind her what a beautiful gift she would have at the end of this journey. All the time, praying that I wasn't lying to her. Because, in all honesty, I was scared to death. I had no idea what we were dealing with. All I did know for sure, was that she had a PERFECT husband, a loving family and above everything else, I knew that whatever was to come, we were doing it together. I felt helpless. I'm a nurse, I should be able to fix this. I couldn't!!! In my nursing career I have seen many ugly disease processess. But, I can tell you that HG is something that can and will absolutely rip your very being apart. The unknown, the fears, the depression....worrying about your loved one that you are watching around the clock....worrying about the baby that she is carrying....praying that she will continue to carry this baby.....wondering HOW she is still carrying it.....the list goes on and on. I watched my daughter lay there lifeless. I watched as nurses came in and stuck her in excess of 8-10 times trying to get an IV without success. Three times in the hospital, and once in the doctors office, I stepped in and asked to start her IV myself. I don't know if it was the look in my eyes, or fear itself, but each time they allowed me to do it. And, I will tell you now, that I was only successful getting IV's on her because God led me all the way.
I am shocked at our medical community that there is not more information out there about HG. As I've looked back over my time spent in the E.R. I realize that I don't believe there are any studies (follow up) that monitor this. During the course of a week, I probably will see 10 women in the first trimester that come in with nausea and vomiting. We load them up with fluid and send them home. That's standard procedure. What we don't know, is how many of those women truly do have "normal" morning sickness and how many of those are in the beginning stages of HG. If there was closer monitoring of this, we could follow up, get treatment quicker, more aggressive, etc. But, each E.R. visit will stand alone, unless an E.R. doctor requests old charts. And even then, during the fast pace, patients get lost in the shuffle. It doesn't sound pretty, but it's the truth.
I can not thank you enough for airing this monster. Putting a face on it that will make it easier to recognize. Perhaps make all of us in the medical profession more knowledgable, more compassionate.
Dr. Phil, as much as I want to thank you for what you are doing, I'm going to ask you to please take a moment and recognize these wonderful ladies on helpher.org for being who they are. I will forever hold them close to my heart. They answered my questions, calmed my fears, you name it, they did it. God led me to helpher.org. There I found the support, the guidance, and in my terms...the ANGELS!! I am proud to say that I am now the grandmother (Nana) of a beautiful, healthy 2 month old little boy named Kolton Cade Kramer!!! He is a true miracle. But, I will also tell you that the feelings that go along with watching your child go through HG will NEVER leave me. Please, please help us to help these wonderful heroes.......the survivors of HG!!!
and love to you!