I have a mood question

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I have a mood question

Postby bweisz » Jan 11, 2007 6:43 pm

My fiancee has been sick for about the last ten weeks. She was trying to keep me at a distance because of her being sick. Yesterday she called me to say she was a little sick in the morning, and that was it. She was not sick the rest of the day. I called her today to see how she was feeling, and she said she was not sick today either. Now she says she has become very angry. I am wondering if this is normal. She thinks she is crazy for the way she has been feeling for the last ten weeks. I tell her that it is what everyone in her condition goes through. At least she is able to talk to me on the phone now without feeling sick. That is a dramatic improvement from before. Carrie thinks that she will not want to be with me or anyone now. I think that she is still having hormone issues that need to be resolved. Has anyone had this problem before? I tell her things I think are right, but I want to be sure.

Thank You

Ben
bweisz
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Postby Summer » Jan 12, 2007 12:07 am

Ben, everything that Carrie is going through is normal. She is very sick on top of being pregnant. Her hormones are out of wack. She will probably go through every emotion known to man. Having HG is extremely stressful. Just keep encouraging her. If she is mad at you, don't take it personally. It is just her hormones. Give her lots of support even if she becomes irrational. She needs you more than ever. Make sure that you set up a support network for yourself. As much as she loves you, she probably won't be there for you. She is just trying to make it through. Good Luck! If you have any questions, you can email me.
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Postby PamelaRose » Jan 12, 2007 7:51 pm

Good news that Carrie's feeling better, Ben. I'm sorry things are still tense, but it's moving in the right direction. It's very common to be depressed with HG, and to be suddenly feeling better when you've resigned yourself to 40 weeks of illness can be difficult to handle, too. No more HG is good, but when you've spent so much time coping with it and fighting with others to acknowledge it, there's a feeling of defeat when suddenly it's gone and others can say, "I told you so." I think we've all questioned our sanity at some point or other during pregnancy! Keep supporting her and don't push when she's not ready. When she says she doesn't want to be with you, does that mean now or later? Either way, she needs time to get her body and mind back in balance before making other changes. Good luck; hang in there!
Pamela

4-Time HG Survivor
*Brody (8-11-98 )
*Avery (1-24-01)
*Reilly (12-16-02)
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Postby bweisz » Jan 12, 2007 9:28 pm

As far as I can tell she is only talking about now. Carrie implies that she doesn't know if she will ever feel as she did towards me again. I tell her that she will when she gets to feeling better. I am just trying to do what she wants and not push too hard. I think that is the best thing I can do. I hope I am not doing something wrong. Carrie is a very strong willed person and wants to be able to do everything herself without any help. I want to be there for her, but do not want to make her pull away anymore than she already has. I really think as she gets to feeling better things will get better between us. At least that is what I am praying for.
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Postby PamelaRose » Jan 12, 2007 11:58 pm

The fact that you're here trying to get information and advice is huge, and that ought to help tip the balance in your favor if she's thinking long-term. :wink: Seriously, though, just read through the first and second-trimester forums and see how many women are upset with their significant others at any given point and you'll get a picture of how common it is in pregnancy to have occasional difficulties with people closest to us. But it's part of the frustration of raging hormones and queasy stomaches and bodies that aren't our own any more. It will get better, and until then remain strong for her and let her know you're not going anywhere. Now that she's feeling better you can think of little ways to show your appreciation (for the baby) and your love (for her)--things to remind her you're still around. Good luck!
Pamela

4-Time HG Survivor
*Brody (8-11-98 )
*Avery (1-24-01)
*Reilly (12-16-02)
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Postby bweisz » Jan 23, 2007 9:09 pm

I have some good news. Carrie became sick after her two day reprieve, but has been feeling better the last week. We went shopping for baby things on Sunday. That is the first time we have been out together for about a month. She sis not get sick the whole time we were gone, but I guess she became sick after I left. Carrie gets herself to worked up about what we are going to do and it makes her sick. She still thinks she is crazy for not wanting to be with me. I showed her a copy of this post, and she still thinks she is crazy. She says she feels bad because she knows I love her, but she can't have the same feelings back. She wanted me to ask if I should prepare myself for if she doesn't want to get back together with me. Carrie thinks that if hormones can make her feel the way she does now, she will not trust herself later. She is only 18 weeks this week and has a long way to go. I think that she will be fine, but I cannot convince her of that. She thinks she may always feel this way. I am writing this more for her than for myself, because I have seen a dramatic improvement in the way she has been. I am feeling better about us all the time. How long after the sickness wears off does the rest take to get better? I am hoping that she gets over all this before the baby comes, but if she doesn't I guess we will deal with it.
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Postby PamelaRose » Jan 23, 2007 9:32 pm

How fun to spend a day together as parents-to-be, Ben. I'm glad you and Carrie had the opportunity. It's pretty common for HGers to have a few good days and then to pay for it with increased nausea or vomiting for a time afterwards. Very normal, and just another sign that our bodies are still fighting for control. I honestly don't know that I was "normal" as far as emotions went at any point during pregnancy! Just give it time and be there for the mother of your child. Regardless of how your personal relationship may or may not work out later (and I agree that it's a matter of wait-and-see, and positive vibes are a good sign), you'll always have the baby in your life and you need to focus on preparing to parent and support him or her. It sounds like Carrie is overwhelmed with the whole situation, and backing away from the subject and agreeing to be there for her as a friend while she copes with this high-risk pregnancy may be best for both of you. All the best, and thanks for the update. I hope your next update is just as positive! Tell Carrie we're thinking about her.
Pamela

4-Time HG Survivor
*Brody (8-11-98 )
*Avery (1-24-01)
*Reilly (12-16-02)
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