feeling overwhelmed..........

[nomore]

This is more of a vent....

Im just feeling so overwhelmed by Katie. Im sure youve picked up from bits and pieces of other posts, she is a VERY collicky,very high needs baby. And, nothing like my experience with Madison.

Im sure many of the issues we have with her are due to her prematurity, but, after COUNTLESS weeks of listening to her scream, etc, Im just so DRAINED.

And, after this week of dealing with Katie having a cold, MAdison getting 2 stomach bugs, Rich getting his big V (so, he was of no help to me), and then HIM getting the stoamch bug.... not to mention Im getting next to no sleep, and Ive felt crummy too.... well, I just feel so ANGRY at most of the people in my life.

I guess, I feel especially angry that NO ONE in our family has offered to every once in a blue moon throw me a helping hand. They all knew Rich would be incapitated due to his prodedure, and I was told I cant take Katie out of the house for 2 weeks, and yet, no one offered to do ANYTHING. Like, maybe bring dinner or come over and help out with the kids....

I feel like a horrible Mom, as I spend half of my day fantazing about NOT being with my kids.... having a life outside of this house. But, I know I cannot put Katie in any type of daycare.

Im just feeling so horribly down this afternoon..... I know it will get better, but Im feeling so resentful to everybody for not offerning any help. And, I hate to sound like Im complaining.... its just, Im the first to offer help, bring over a dinner, etc.... and I feel like no one cares to return the niceneess??? if that makes sense.

I need some time away from my kids.... and I need to be more than the 10 min I get when Im in the shower every few days.

And, even angry at Rich, as he felt too crummy to to anything around here (which is fine, cuz hes recouperating, and had a stomach bug), but AMAZINGLY feels good enough to go spray the car off (something he wanted to do). And, he took Madison outside, which I WANTED To do, since I havent been outside this house in DAYS. Not to mention, I would love some one on one time with her, WITHOUT dealing with Katie.

Thanks for listening to me vent.....

[teddi]

oh Robin!

A) don't feel like a bad mommy

B) don't feel like a bad mommy

C) don't feel like a bad mommy!!!!!

You have a demanding baby, little rest, a sick daughter, a "sick" husband. Oh boy don't I have one of THOSE, the kind who don't feel good enough for X (something I need help with) but DOES feel good enough for Y (something HE wants to do)!

Why not pick up the phone to a friend or relative and just tell them the truth? Sometimes people don't think, or maybe they think you don't want ppl over w/sick kids, etc. But PROBABLY someone is willing to help out if you put your need out there.

I finally just let it all out to my mom (who hasn't been my biggest supporter). Well, she got worried and came over. And just her doing that helped me a lot the other day.

Hang in there! Katie will get older and get easier and sleep better.

[PamelaRose]

Ugh, I have absolutely been where you are in terms of a colicky, high-needs baby. That was the toughest part of having #2 for us; Avery was nursing and cranky and of course needed and wanted only me. So DH would take Brody with him everywhere, thinking it was helping me, but in reality I wanted my husband, and I wanted to be the one escaping the beastly baby! Hang in there; it really will get better, and you know you're earning extra bonus points somewhere for holding it all together.

Big, big hugs!

[bibliojo]

((((Robin)))) I can identify with your feelings as Lukas was a very colicky baby and I can't imagine what it would be like to deal with that and a toddler! I wish I could help you in some way...like just hold Katie so you could have a moment to yourself. Do try to make time where you are on your own (easier said than done I know) but it's something you NEED. You will just burn out even more if you don't have a few moments of peace and sanity to yourself. Sometimes it just boils down to having to ask for help if people don't offer it. Very hard to do, but you need to take care of yourself too.

As soon as I'm well enough, I'm going to pop a little something in the mail for you.

Joanna

[JennyK]

Robin, I'm sorry you're so overwhelmed right now. I wish I could help somehow. When Rich is better I hope you'll get a chance to get out. Could you order in for dinner every night and other splurges to help you get through?

[Mom to Aidan & Daniel]

Wow, that is a LOT to deal with you poor dear! I only have one baby, and he's not colicky just doesn't like to sleep much. I've also felt like giving him back temporarily (like until he's 18 and a fine young man ) so I can get some time to myself. It is perfectly normal, sez my lovely American therapist, to feel this way. So take it from her!
Yes, good advice from Pamela and the others. Tell people how you feel and that you really need help, order in if you can, lessen expectations on yourself, let Katie cry some when you feel you're going to explode, etc!

Sending huge hugs. You're doing an amazing job!

Sarah

[karolinagurl20]

robin i just read your "vent" after reading your response to mine, and i feel even more grateful that with all your going through you took time to help a very anxious hger out. Thanks you do need help and im sorry people are stretching out their arms to you as you obviously have done for others, me included. I wish i could help you. I wish i could help myself I'll pray though! Take the best care. kayla

[Kadinga]

(((((((((((Robin))))))))))))

You vent away, girl. The one thing you can always rely on is that there are people here to listen and understand. Of course you need time to yourself and of course you need to get out in the fresh air and of course you need some time with just Madison. Is Katie sleeping much during the day? Can you get a long-range monitor to allow you to take Madison outside for a little while when Katie is sleeping? Even if it is just 15 minutes, if there is fresh air and maybe a little sunshine involved in that 15 minutes you'll feel better.

Thinking of you

Amanda

[Marie]

Robin,

Katie sounds like she has the Brianna syndrome. To get anything accomplished I had to put her in a front pack carrier. The reflux was so bad she would projectile formula that was room temp, for some reason the bottle had to be on the cool side for her little tummy to handle it. Many nights I would hold her, rock her, and look out the window and cry seeing that the neighbors lights were off, and they were getting SLEEP.

I feel for you its hard to comfort a difficult baby, and keep your sanity in the process.

What I did learn is that asking others for help was (at least in my case) was an important step in the right direction. NO one offered. I had to ask, and suddenly friends and family were arranging their schedules to help me out. My husband was no help well or otherwise At first I felt guilty for enjoying a little time to myself knowing she was screaming at whomever tried to care for her that was not mommy, but I quickly realized that unless I went out and distanced myself I would make things worse because she would sense my stress and be more irratible...if it was even possible for her to be worse.

Tyler started off that way, and although he still has reflux, he is a great baby. Such a difference from Brianna. A friend of mine told me that it seems every family has one difficult baby for every good baby they have. After Brianna I prayed that was true because two like her I could'nt handle.

Call your family and friends, and then get outside and dance in the sunshine.

I wish we lived closer..I would be ringing your doorbell the minute I read your post.

Hugs to you,
Marie