Anxiety attacks

Including Post Partum Depression, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder & flashbacks.

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Anxiety attacks

Postby foxwoodfaerie » Feb 11, 2005 1:53 pm

I've always suffered from anxiety attacks, it's part of my bipolar disorder. i usually take haldol which helps control the anxiety and hallucinations. But I'm not taking it now-against my doctor's advice-because it's Class C.
Anyway, I was doing fine until about two weeks ago. I started seeing things. I'd think I saw someone and then when I looked twice, there was nobody there. I'm not hearing any voices, which is good but, the visual hallucinations are really bothering me because I usually only have auditory hallucinations.
Anyway, I've just recently been able to go to grocery stores again and last night I did a major grocery trip and had some kind of attack in the store. I started getting very paranoid that I was forgetting something. At the end of every aisle I would read my shopping list 2 or 3 times and look back at the aisle trying to figure out if I'd forgotten something. I realized that I was talking out loud to myself-I always talk to myself but usually under my breath, not out loud in a normal voice. By the time I was done shopping, I couldn't look anyone in the eye, I was shaking and having a hard time breathing. It was aweful.
*FOODMENTS*Then this morning, my husband noted that although I forgot to buy juice and milk, I managed to buy three boxes of muffin mix (which we never buy) *END FOODMENT** I went and looked in the fridge and pantry and there are several things I don't remember buying that are in there-things we don't usually get. It is very strange.

Anyway, I don't know quite what my point is in this post. I'm just a little frustrated to be "losing it" like this. I was supposed to see my psychiatrist next Wed and they called yesterday to reschedule for the end of the month cause he's leaving town.

I don't know, I guess I'm just worried. I didn't tell dh about the anxiety attack and when he asked about the weird groceries, I just shrugged and said I was tired. I'm afraid he'll freak out on me if I tell him what's going on.
I feel ok today so I think maybe I just had too much going on last night....

I'm sorry, I don't think there's much point to this post, I just had to get it out. Thanks for listening.

Ruth
Aidan, James and Thayer
and....I'm DONE!!!!
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Postby Vicki » Feb 11, 2005 2:01 pm

Ruth,
It must have been very frightening indeed. That feeling of not remembering something happening is very un nerving. I think that you are doing amazingly well to be coping with all of this extra stress while not taking your usual mediactions and there are bound to be a few hiccups on the way.
It really is bad luck about your doctor. Could you see another one in the same practice (sorry about my lack of knowledge about US healthcare, all I know is from ER)?
Anyway, there isn;t much advice in this post is there? I just wanted to give you some support and tell you to hang in there as best you can. (Perhaps keep yourself busy with Muffin mix :wink: )

Love Vicki
First baby, due 21st July 2005
HG from week 6
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Postby foxwoodfaerie » Feb 11, 2005 2:36 pm

Thank you Vicki, I don't think I was really looking for advice but more of just some validation, which you gave me. Thank you!
You know, it's funny cause last night I did make one of the boxes of muffin mix and all the muffins are gone already! They were a big hit-guess I should buy them more often. :)
I feel ok today but if I start feeling bad again, I'll call my psychiatrist's office-he always has the same guy fill in for him and I've met with him before so I know him already. I have one of those doctors that seems to take about 6 vacations a year-always when I need him most. lol.
anyway, thank you for your post.
Ruth
Aidan, James and Thayer
and....I'm DONE!!!!
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foxwoodfaerie
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Postby meg » Feb 11, 2005 3:55 pm

Ruth,

I wish I was there to give you a big hug. I am sure it was really unsettling to have a trip to the grocery store in a state of sort of altered consciousness. Not to make fun, but I often feel that way about the grocery store as I wheel one of those awful two-kid carts around the store, talking to the kids, consulting my list and trying not to run anyone over! :wink:

Consider talking to your dh. Tell him that you need him to handle this well and that it is too much to carry around alone. I'm glad your dr has someone you are familiar with covering his practice. At least you know you have that option.

Hugs to you.
Hugs,
Meg

Mom to Anabel (7), Patrick (4) and Moira Grace (1)
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Postby Janehh » Feb 14, 2005 5:50 pm

Ruth,
I agree with whoever said you are doing AMAZINGLY well--you really are. You know though, class C doesn't mean you should rule the haldol out altogether--we're almost in the third trimester now and it's worth relooking at the safety info. I wonder what Motherisk.org has to say? Anyway, I never hesitate to use the "shrink on call" if I need them--it's a pain but if it would put you at ease it would be worth it.
There I go, and you weren't even looking for advice. Sorry!!
Best,
Jane
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Due 5/16/05
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