Hello!
My name is Jen and I am fairly new to the site. I signed up to be a volunteer (in Michigan). I wish I had known about this site when I was PG!!! It is just amazing and very helpful to the HG victim
I have a 17 month old son named Brady. He is perfect in every way. I always tell him, "Your Mommy worked hard for you!" as I am sure you can ALL relate!
To briefly share my story...I started feeling sick before I even took the pregnancy test and then it snowballed from there. At first I figured everyone goes through this. How did my mom, friends, aunts, etc. actually do this multiple times?! Well, little did I know then what I was experiencing was far worse and something that truly could not be explained to or understood by many members of my family or friends, even my husband at times. Was sick the whole time, on Zofran, medical leave from work, one final PUKE with delivery and it was finally gone.
I must say HG is such a raw experience that just "stays with you." Everyone told me I'd forget all about it once I held Brady in my arms, but I am finding the exact opposite is happening. I think about it daily. However, I feel that I have a new "lease" on life in a way. I have never appreciated brushing my teeth, washing my face, changing my sheets, walking to my mailbox in quite the same way since HG robbed me of myself.
At a point, I seriously considered an abortion and spent time making deals with God (I will adopt babies from China if you just make me lose this one...") and also spent time putting my "throw-up" bag (before used, of course!) over my head to see "what it would feel like" to commit suicide.
Anyway, my POINT (long-winded as it is!) is this. WHY can't PEOPLE UNDERSTAND why I am not going to have another child??? I feel a loss, ya know? Like HG took away something from me. I would have a second child if I didn't have this to face or at least to face the risk of it. It is amazing when people, "how many are you going to have?" and I say, "I think we're done!" and their responses are unbelievable. "How could you not give him a sibling?" "Oh come on, you've gotta have at least one more..." Well, it just plain makes me feel sad when I hear that. Like in some warped way, I really can't be happy (in other's eyes) if I don't have another!!! Makes no sense I know. Just hoping for some inspiring thoughts. Some day down the road, maybe we will consider adopting, but where do you start with that? It seems such a big process?
Thank you for taking the time to read and listen to me! I look forward to "meeting" you all!