International Adoptions

Share your questions about and experiences with adoption or surrogacy pregnancy alternatives.

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International Adoptions

Postby Erinf » Jun 11, 2006 9:53 pm

I have a question about international adoptions:

I have an anxiety disorder (ocd) that was well treated prior to hg. It peaked during the pregnancy because I couldn't take my meds and after the pregnancy as I was readjusting to them. I am doing soooooo much better now and am seeing a therapist once a week just to make sure that I get back to normal (my normal, before hg).

Anyways, my husband and I have decided that we would like to adopt our next child due to my hg and stress it put on our family. I am deeply saddened to know that I won't bear anymore children as I love my little guy more than anything. However, I am also excited to adopt in the future. My concern is that I will be rejected because I have an anxiety disorder. I am matter of fact about it and know that I will always need meds to control it, but that doesn't intefere with me being a good mommy. Does anyone know if this will prevent me from adopting? We are starting to look into the Korean adoption program as my husband's aunt just adopted from there and he also has an uncle who is Korean.
Thanks for the help!
~Erin :D
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Postby Mom to Aidan & Daniel » Jun 12, 2006 1:40 am

I went to an adoption info meeting here in Oslo a few months ago. We're also considering an intl. adoption in the future (our baby is only 5 mo. old so it won't be for a while), and are very excited about it. It's just another way to meet a new little person share love with. They indirectly addressed your question by saying that they don't expect prospective parents to be "perfect" economically, emotionally or spiritually. They surely have certain rules about it, but it sounded to me like it is okay to have our kinks, as long as the children won't miss out on their most important needs. Be honest with the agency and I think you'll be fine! I'd imagine rules are similar in the USA.

Hugs and keep us posted!
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Postby Ivydragon » Jul 28, 2006 1:43 pm

Adam's 1/2 sister was adopted into a family where the mother suffered for years from chronic depression. She is dependant on her medication, and has been on it for many years now. She had no problems becoming a foster parent, and adopting.

We have friends who work with a foreign adoption agency. Sometimes agencies in the U.S. are pickier than foreign agencies. Adopting foreign isn't the same process at all compared to having a birthmom choosing a couple in the states. The government is in charge in foreign adoptions - the foreign gov., that is, and the orphanages. I remember comments about couples going to this particular agency after having other agencies refuse to work with them because of age, or religious beliefs, etc. They are looking for stability, for a safe place to raise a child, for financial stability, marital stability, etc. They know there is no perfect family, and they know there's no guarantee couples won't divorce, or go bankrupt later on down the road, etc., but they do try to make sure that people with criminal histories, drug addicts, financial ruin, history of abusing, verge of divorce aren't adopting.

I agree, just be honest. If you're honest with what your struggles are, then they know they know what you struggle with, and most agencies aren't there to pick apart your lives - just know enough to judge whether or not you'd be a safe place for a child, and that you really truly want this.

Mom to Aaron 14 (HG), Anna 11 (HG), Adam 8 (adopted), Andrew 8 (adopted), fostering a newborn . . .
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