Thinking of adopting number 2

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Thinking of adopting number 2

Postby Mom to Aidan & Daniel » Feb 21, 2006 9:15 pm

Well this is early in the game, but John and I have begun discussing child number 2, and we think adoption is the way to go. We wanted to do this prior to Aidan and HG, and HG makes it that much more attractive. We always thought that having a biological child first was best, so that the adopted child doesn't think we got him/her only bec. we couldn't conceive, but because we always wanted a "heart child."
We're not sure about timing. I'm 36, John's 41. Aidan's only 6 weeks old. John thinks we should wait until Aidan's 4 and adopt a 2-3 year old, perhaps a little girl from China. I'm not sure, and wondered what you ladies think about sibling age difference, taking into account our ages as well.


Mom to Aidan & Daniel
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Postby Marie » Feb 28, 2006 1:50 pm


I think it would be a good idea to start researching your options right away. Not because of the age difference, but due to the amount of time it takes for an adoption to go through, and the whole social services checking out your home, job, family, etc.

Good luck, and let us know what you decide.
HG baby arrived 11/18/99.
Lost an Angel 6/04.
HG baby arrived 7/01/05.
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Postby Ivydragon » Mar 15, 2006 4:48 pm

You can't plan on sibling timing - some women get that luxury, you know, only conceive precisely in the exact month they want to, have them born when they are due, and plan how far apart their children are to the month, they must surely be out there, somewhere - maybe. The rest of us become mothers, and deal with the fact that some kids come 9 months apart, and others come 5 years apart, some aren't conceived when we're trying, and others are conceived even when we aren't trying.

So, first and foremost, you can't plan on a set timing. Research your options, there is an adoption option for every pocket book. Look at how long it takes to wait for your designated option. I just read an article yesterday discussing how long the wait times are for adopting girls than boys - the demand for girls increases how long you wait dramatically. Know that if you're interested in foreign adoption, that the rules change from time to time within a set country, and there's nothing we can do but adapt, so be aware that that can happen.

Begin adopting when you feel you are ready to begin the journey, but at the same time know that it really can take years. We requested our first bunch of paperwork in August for this go round and we're still not licensed - some of it our fault, some just the fact that it takes a lot of work, and we still have a life to live! It takes far longer than conception unless that are conception issues that last for years.

There is a distinct possibility that if you wait until your firstborn is 5, you'll be adopting when he's 6 or 7, and adopting a 4-5 year old if you want them a few years apart, so start when he's 2-4 years old to adopt a few years after that. Having said that, some people plan on it taking years and it takes months - nothing is set in stone.

Huge hugs, Andy
Mom to Aaron 14 (HG), Anna 11 (HG), Adam 8 (adopted), Andrew 8 (adopted), fostering a newborn . . .
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