Surrogacy/adoption in uk?

Share your questions about and experiences with adoption or surrogacy pregnancy alternatives.

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Surrogacy/adoption in uk?

Postby beccyliz » Jan 25, 2006 10:47 pm

I'm 22 years old and have just terminated my second pregnancy (as I did my first) due to HG :cry:
My husband and I have decided we cannot go through the trauma again but I cannot face a life without children.
We are considering surrogacy or adoption but the criteria for these say that you have to have made every attempt to concieve naturally first. Has anyone out there (in the UK) successfully adopted or been approved for surrogacy on the basis of HG?
beccyliz
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Postby Gillian » Jan 26, 2006 2:12 pm

Beccy,

I am so so sorry for your loss. I feel angry that the treatment in the UK is so poor that you had to terminate a much wanted pregnancy despite being such a strong person as you obviously are, to try again after your first loss.

I just wanted to say I understand you not wanting to go through HG again as I also had a termination at 9 weeks due to HG 2 years ago and am now pregnant again and also said to my husband if we did not succeed this time, that I was not prepared to put us through the trauma again. I do not know your circumstances but I wanted to let you know that with early planned treatment, getting the doctors fighting for me and not having to battle them, I have managed this pregnancy without the same severity of symptoms and no weight loss and I am now beginning to come out of the all day nausea at 15weeks.

I just feel strongly that maybe if the same treatment was available to all and had been for me last time, there would be a way through HG.

I think being able to adopt is wonderful and would think that your experiences would certainly qualify as you having made every attempt to conceive naturally but have no formal information. I was just so touched when I read your post and wanted to say you are not alone and very brave.

Gill
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Postby bibliojo » Jan 27, 2006 1:15 am

(((Beccy)))

I don't really know anything about adoption or surrogacy in the UK as I'm in Canada, however, maybe the UK ladies can help you out on that one. But I just wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss. It must be devastating for you and your dh. :cry:

Sending hugs your way,
Joanna
2 HG pregnancies
Lukas - February 2003
Katya - October 2006

Image
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Postby mandy » Jan 28, 2006 6:22 am

Beccy,

My friend began the adoption process here in the Uk at age 27 (dh 26). At that point they had only tried to concieve for about 6 months but infertility was suspected but not confirmed. The adoption process began before confirmation of this (like a year before). I believe these are guidelines not set in stone. SS are just trying to make sure people have really thought things through. Two terminations due to hg seem to indicate to me that you have no doubt that pregnancy is not the route you want to go again. I really believe that should be enough for them and that if you want to proceed with adoption, if you find a dr knowledgeable of hg (I know, no easy feat), but if they will give a report on the seriousness of what you have been through, then it should be possible to be approved for adoption.

My friend has just been approved. She was told their young ages were a positive (which previously she had been told would make things more difficult). Adoption has guidelines but from her experience, it is quite flexible. They are more interested in you as a couple, what you have to offer a child and that you have a stable relationship/home etc.

I wish you all the luck in the world and am sorry that your hg was so severe.

All the best, Mandy x
mother of two
hg from wk 6 - daughter born in 1999
hg from wk 5 - son born in 2002
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