Welcome to the adoption forum

Share your questions about and experiences with adoption or surrogacy pregnancy alternatives.

Moderators: Atsie, caleighbelle47

Welcome to the adoption forum

Postby Ivydragon » May 29, 2004 11:07 am


So, curious about adopting? I certainly was when I was pg with my daughter, who is my 2nd child. I just knew I couldn't ever do HG again, and so we looked into other options before she was even born. I was 6 months pregnant on a short road trip with my Mom to pick up a sister from college, and I was reading to her all about open adoption.

It took us several years to decide which program was the right one for us to pursue to find the child meant for us, but in the end we were foster parents in the state of Utah. We received placement of a 1/4 Japanese little boy who was 3 1/2 months old on June 5th, 2001. Our emotions ran the whole gambit as his birthmom declared she was going to relinquish rights at the beginning, and then changed her mind - deciding to work towards reunification. In the end, another pregnancy complicated her efforts, and she was not successful in reunification efforts with her son. She voluntarily relinquished parental rights and we were able to adopt Adam on May 29th, 2002 - exactly two years ago today. Despite the emotional roller coaster of that adoption, Adam's birthmom and our family have a great relatioship now. We have an open adoption, and try to keep the three birth siblings in contact. One was adopted in Utah, and one is with her.

We have seriously considered adopting from China, but with our receant move here to Northern Idaho, have found an adoption agency that places newborn infants born here in Idaho with waiting families. It would be another open adoption, we hope, and about $8,000 less than adopting from China - both good things, lol. We have to wait for 6 months before we can apply to establish a residency, which is alright by us. We'll be busy this summer preparing for our foreign exchange student from Japan! While we are waiting until September to begin our homestudy update, we will be preparing our birthmom letter.

I know that until you go through it, it's hard to see what the whole adoption experience is like, so I'll be posting about mine, here as we progress through it.

We also have many friends who have adopted foreign, so know quite a bit about those options as well.

Researching to adopt is very similar to preparing for another HG pg. You learn about all of your viable options, and then slowly wade through them to figure out which one is actually right for you. Those who are truly determined to adopt do eventually adopt, but it's not as quick as getting pregnant supposedly is. I can tell you that it's certainly not the same as giving birth, but still a wonderful way to grow our family with children. I can guarantee one thing for sure! You throw up a whole lot less this way, no one gave me an IV, and all of the labor pains were in my heart.

Hugs to all of you considering adoption. Feel free to ask me anything.

Mom to Aaron 14 (HG), Anna 11 (HG), Adam 8 (adopted), Andrew 8 (adopted), fostering a newborn . . .
Devoted to You
Posts: 1350
Joined: Mar 31, 2004 12:55 am
Location: Northern Idaho

Re: Welcome to the adoption forum

Postby MamaLily » Jun 02, 2004 12:08 am

Andy -

I know you must be extremely busy with these great new forums, so this question can wait until you have time. I'm serious...no pressure.

My question is why you prefer open adoption. I've heard you say that it's the best option with adoption, and I'm just wondering how you reached that conclusion.

Lately I have to say that adoption just sounds so perfect. I've always known that I could mother any child. And when I think of how wonderful it would be to have a new baby handed to me when I'm feeling normal - without HG, recovery from birth, etc. - it just sounds like a dream come true. I know it won't be without challenges, but lately it seems perfect. I'd love to hear your thoughts about it.

No rush on any of this! It will be a while before we will be ready to apply for adoption, and that's only if it's the right thing for us. Thanks in advance, and I hope you're doing well! Are you holding up okay?

- Anna
Opinionated HGer
Posts: 519
Joined: May 28, 2004 2:54 pm

Adoption option

Postby HdGAMom2B » Jun 02, 2004 5:52 pm

Hi Friends, We are actually actively seeking a birthmother, while also opening the door finally, to TTC. We have spent 5 years afraid to get pregnant with HG, so we decided last year to go online, wiht a minstry and create a profile, and wait for a birthmom. We had a fantastic match with a bm in our own state, of Maryland. We wre matched 4 months, and were at the hospital during the birth. All went perfect, and then 2 days later, on Mothers Day (good grief, what timing!), she changed her mind and after 6 days with our little Claire, we had to return her. Major Grief!!!

We still know that God brought us to adoptoin for a very important reason. We DO feel that in the last year, our faith in God has doubled, and that this faith should cause us to again pursue what once terrified us, knowing that god can provide for us, physically and emotinally, what we need to endure, and be parents. ourselves. However, we are AGAIN, online, with a profile, and beliving that God will open a door for us, either pg, or adoptoin. We have such respect for a woman who can make that choice for her child. And follow through might I add.

We have tons of friends who have loving open adoptoins, and my own sister is a birthmother, timing wasn't perfect for us (just recently married at the time,a nd had no clue what pg/hg would bring)... so we can view her oipen adoption, and be onthe other end, as adoptive, well, prospectivre adoptive parents also. Weird position, one sister adopting, the other placing her child.. oh well, it takes all kinds.

Anyway, I would love to network wiht any one seeking or considering adoptoin. We have a wealth of information and can help you learn more abuot the laws in your home state, or answer any Q's you might have. If we can minster to one person through our experiences, we'd be happy that we could help.

So, that's all from me.
*We're pregnant!! 30 wks -due March 24th, 2005
*Failed adoption after 6 wonderful days (baby Claire Delaney, b. 5/6/04)
*'Therapeutic Termination' at 11 wks. due to mistreated HG in first pg, term. 6/15/99
Welcomed Friend
Posts: 95
Joined: May 30, 2004 6:10 am
Location: Maryland

Return to Adoption & Surrogacy

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest