Slow paperwork

[Ivydragon]

Well, this is my adoption update. I'm learning patience. We're working on our paperwork, still. Three of our Dr. appointments are complete, I have my new driver's license (which I thought I better do before it expired on Friday and I applied for fingerprinting). Looks like I won't be getting everything in before the New Year like I was hoping, and I'll be lucky to get all of the paperwork in by the end of January, anyways. We don't have any prospects, so part of me wonders why I even care when we get it done, but if you have no goal, things often just don't get finished at all, or so I am telling myself.

I went to see my best friend's twins yesterday. Both between 5 and 6 pounds. So tiny. With my youngest nearing 5, I feel so removed from the whole baby thing, and yet I instinctually knew what to do with a baby in my arms, and I know that I would never be able to rest in my soul not trying for another child one way or another, and I cannot ever conceive again, so I am patient as I put in one puzzle piece at a time towards adopting, towards completing our family puzzle. I guess I'm just afraid of getting my hopes up again, getting too excited before it's time, because I've been there, and done that, and patience and peace is far better, much easier.

Andy

[mandy]

Hi Andy,

It's kinda quiet in the adoptions forums, hey?! I am following your story and wanted to post one of my own, if you don't mind. It's a story of stuggles, hope and impending happiness. I'll keep it short!

My best friend has struggled with terrible illness all her life. She has had colitis (severe including colostromy bag) which has led to reactive arthritis. Again severe - she has metal pieces in both legs/ankle joints, her wrists and back need to be fused as she is literally crumbling away. She is on countless meds everyday including morphine for terrible pain. She has steroid injections directly into her joints often. She is 29. Countless operations have led to certain infertility.

As you can see this has been a huge obstacle in her life and was a big issue when herself and her dh began their road to adoption. She has just been sucessfully approved of adopting two children after 2+ years of waiting. Not to mention the time spent having fertility investigations, researching surrogacy, ivf etc etc. They will get their little ones soon! We're talking weeks rather than months! We are so excited. Her and her husband have such huge hearts. They are open to adopting children with life-limiting illnesses. I am in awe of them both.

I just wanted to post this because my friend had so much against her. She scrapped thro the medicals. Her faith has got her through. I am not religious myself but God has a huge impotance in her life and she is such a special person. It has taken forever for her to get to this point. I want to give others hope of achieving success in adoption. It does happen even when it seems almost impossible.

Hope you didn't mind me sharing. I just so proud of her!!!

Mandy x

ps I was to be their surrogate Mum until hg tore that plan apart. She will never let me go through hg for her. Many a tear has been shed over my frustration and guilt at that but it has brought us so close. At last I feel this is the path she was meant to take. Some things are meant to be but take years for us to see why. They are truly going to be the best Mummy and Daddy for some lttle ones out there.

[Ivydragon]

What a wonderful adoption story! Are they adopting twins or a sibling pair? How cool! Of course I don't mind you sharing! Anyone determined to adopt WILL indeed adopt in the end, it's just a matter of time, really.

I can see somewhat how you feel about wanting to surrogate. We're close to our donor, from the pg I miscarried, and he offered to donate again a few months ago if we still wanted to try to get pg - has delayed a vas. in order to offer me that opportunity for years, and I just do not feel like I can walk that path again. Won't do it. It is hard on everyone to see baby plans laid and not carried out to fruition. I wonder how many HGers feel unfinished concerning me, because they've known me for years, and I've wanted to have another baby for years now. It's hard to be so patient for so long.

I am so excited that your friend gets to adopt! Adopting changes you in the most wonderful ways, and at first it's a different way of becoming a parent, but down the road you can't imagine your life without them, and everyone is shocked that you've adopted even though you've never hid the fact, because of course they are part of the family! So very exciting.

Andy

[mandy]

I am pm'ing you.