by Traderjodie » Oct 05, 2007 10:40 pm
Xphile, Our story is a little different becuase in addition to HG we have had a number of late second trimester losses. Honestly, I might have braved the HG again if I thought I had a chance of carrying to term. But I did have some of the same guilt feelings for turning to surrogacy when we already have two children. I thought people would resent me or simply not understand why I would be willing to go through so much to have a third child.
Once I started really researching surrogacy and talking to surrogates and other parents via surrogacy, I realized that my fears were completely unfounded. There were many other people turning to surrogacy who were already parents. I have also heard of several people turning to surrogacy to avoid HG.
The thruth is, there is nothing to feel guilty about. You would not be taking anything away from someone "more desearving." There are wonderful surrogates available for people in every situation and if you want to undertake it, you will find a woman who understands your problem and is delighted to help you.
There will always be people who don't understand HG and will belittle your suffering. There will always be people who think surrogacy is immoral for any reason. But I don't think we need to pay any attention to those people!
Suzanne Thanks so much for the good wishes! It really is exciting although I have to try not to get my hopes up too much.
We have found our surrogate and she is wonderful. I couldn't possibly trust someone more. Unfortunately, she does not live near us so we will not be able to attend to many appointments. But we will be there for the birth.
Surprisingly, in many states you can petition the court to have the genetic parent's names put directly onto the birth certificate, so there will be no record that our child is born to someone else. Of course, I don't intend to keep it a secret, but its nice to know I won't have to adopt my own baby!
I'll keep you all posted.
-Jodie