is adoption for me?

Share your questions about and experiences with adoption or surrogacy pregnancy alternatives.

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is adoption for me?

Postby JME » Jul 19, 2007 3:13 pm

I am having the hardest time with this. I know I want another baby. My husband says he could take it or leave it... but he wants another child he just worries about all the work.

I think my daughter is one of the most amazing and beautiful people in the world and I can't figure out why I can't just be thrilled with her and not worry about more?

I know I should go the adoption route as I just turned 36 and I worry about genetic problems, plus the hyperemesis. Our daughter is 2 and I
don't want another child until she is 3 (in 10 months).

My husband wants no part of me being pregnant again, and I don't blame him or any of my family thinking I am crazy for even having an inkling that I *might* want to be pregnant again.

I have looked into adoption websites and even talked to the folks on the phone... it just doesn't feel right. Like I am not excited about it, it feels like I am a wimp for letting hyperemesis scare me. Or that I may still feel wounded even if we adopt a child.

I feel seriously nuts,
Jamie
JME
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Postby Hilary » Jul 23, 2007 11:40 pm

:hugs: I am not sure what to say. I completely understand needing more kids but being scared of the HG. :hugs: GL!
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Postby JennyK » Jul 24, 2007 11:11 am

I have similar feelings. I'm trying to make adoption feel right, but you can't make something like that happen. For now I'm just trying to keep an open mind. I'm a bit envious of people who just know that adoption is right for them.
Jenny
Annie, January '04
Will, August '06
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Postby BethersinMN » Jul 28, 2007 7:50 am

Believe me I have been up/down and around this myself. A good person's stories to read are Andy's "Ivydragon". She is an incredible woman with a heart bigger then most. Read some of her posts and her journey's. Her caring, dedication and love for God's children will amaze you.... Best of luck with whatever route you choose...

Love, Bethers
BethersinMN- Justin 1/9/96 SEVERE HG (9 wks-36.5 wks) Ryan 4/18/09 (HG & Severe Preeclampsia and Hellp at 25 wks emerg c-sec 29 weeks) and 4 beautiful angels 05/21/04, 11/16/04, 7/28/06 & 10/6/12 forever loved with God & my parents till we are all together. We have begun another journey to bring another Baby-Love home. God please grant us faith, strength, courage, patientence and love through this each and every day.
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Adoption after HG

Postby Birdy » Jul 31, 2007 6:56 pm

I can completely understand your dilema. After a horrific pregnancy I too considered adoption. I researched on and off for about a year, before I finally felt 100% about moving forward and now I'm blessed with two children--one biological, and one adopted. I think that to move forward with adoption, one needs to really, really think it through. There are so many unknowns, so much information to process, plus the worry "will I love this child as much as my own." Having done both routes I can't say one is easier than the other, as there are trials in both, but the more honest you are about your feelings, and those of your spouses, the happier you will be with the result--whether that means adding to your family, or relishing having an only child.

Best of luck--
Birdy
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Postby aaronsmommy » Jul 31, 2007 7:33 pm

I have thought a lot about adoption and haven't gotten to the point of feeling comfortable either.

I am also coming up on 36 and feel my biological clock ticking away, but at least the clock on adoption doesn't tick so fast, so I know I have plenty of time to make that decision.
Aimee

Aaron 12/4/02
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Postby JME » Aug 05, 2007 12:11 am

Many thanks for everyone who replied. It really helps to hear other 'voices' .... my own voice is an echo-chamber of indecision!

I think I have figured out that my main problem is wondering if I will regret not having another child (bio) if I don't, somewhere down the line?
And that doesn't seem like the best reason to go through with a PG.

Jamie
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