Hyperemesis Gravidarum Support and Research Forums

I have to re write info here because all my messages have been erased due to technical difficulty while trying to change my email address, so:

We had expressed interest in the adoption of a boy who has intra uterine growth retardation.

Well we hadn't heard back in about a month so I just thought we were off the list.

Then this morning I got a phone call from the boys case worker saying that she was down to 2 families for him, us and one other family! I was in such shock that I didn't actually realize what she was saying until I hung up the phone!

The baby lives about a 12 hr drive away from us in a different city and his case worker was saying she is even prepared to fly up and meet us and do a home visit so that he could move in sooner, if we are chosen!

Anyway, I'm not getting my hopes up.

Zoe

I'm so glad you posted. I was just thinking about you and that little boy the other day so I was happy to see the update. It does sound hopeful but I understand your hesitation to get too excited. I hope all things work out for the best - both for you and that little one. Please continue to keep us updated.

Donna

Thanks Donna,

I always look at it from the point of view that what is best for the baby is what will happen.
That way I feel ok with either outcome because I know the baby is getting what is best for him.

Thanks for your support.

Zoe

Zoe,
That is great news. Hoping it works out for you and the baby.
Crossing my fingers!
Erin

Wow! We'll keep you in our prayers! We hope they choose you! Let us know either way.

Andy

Thanks everyone for the support.

I spoke with Ty's caseworker and she said that the managers haven't had their meeting yet but are hoping to have it this week.
She is going away for three weeks so I hope the managers will still have their meeting. She said I should hear from one of the managers by next week.
And she said "I will probably speak to you in three weeks when I get back". Now I cant help but be a little hopeful that she said that because she thinks we will be chosen, otherwise she wouldn't speak to me at all if we weren't chosen.

Anyway, it's really hard to not think about it you know? I am just sorting out the house and property so whenever we do get a baby we will be ready. That's keeping me very busy.

I will keep you all posted.

Andy, how are you going with the boy you were interested in?

Zoe

Zoe!!!! This is fabulous news!!! Keep us updated. So excited for you.

(And so sorry about the troubles with the posts.)

Wow, how exciting! We are doing exactly the same thing, sorting out the house, trying to keep busy. I know our lives will turn upside down when we add that next new child to our family, because that's precisely what happened the last time we did it. I want to be able to focus, ya know? Last time I'd gotten to the cleaning point where I was doing curtains, and they didn't go back up for 3 months! lol.

We have slow progress. I get the sense that communication between birth family members and the agency has been difficult to achieve. We have communicated enough with one Gmother through email to still be interested in this little boy, but we have to remain cautious, because in adoption there are no guarantees until you are in the court room and it's done. We've already had so many possibilities in the last year turn to nothing, and you wouldn't believe the number of friends we have who have known an unwed Mom who ended up placing their baby for adoption and they never considered us because they didn't know we exsisted. You know, we're totally ok if people don't choose us because they don't feel it's the right place for their child, but to never really be seriously considered is hard. One friend told us that they want to protect us from getting our hopes up! At that rate they'll never help us adopt. Adoption is all about hope, and connections. There are a lot of this boy's family members who care about what happens to this little guy, and I think that's really good - I'm secretly hoping that it would mean a good open adoption, but we're just going to have to wait and see if everyone else agrees. I think this little guy would be an excellent addition to the family, we'd be very excited to have him, and then we'd be done - and I could settle into just raising my kids, instead of wondering where in the world my 3rd boy is. I started trying to figure out how we were gonna get our 3rd boy in April of 2001 - been nearly 6 years, when I looked into getting pg again (found the HuGS forum), and did and miscarried in 2003, and then was so traumatized adoption was the only option left. It's a long time to wonder, and it's been a hard road.

Huge hugs, and I'm thinking of you! I know exactly how nerve wracking that is to know that a committee is meeting to decide who gets the baby, and you have a 50/50 shot - that's how we got Adam. What a roller coaster! Cleaning my house was the only thing that kept me sane. I'm planning out our dream backyard in between cleaning the house, and it's spring break, so we're doing extra fun stuff this week - movies, cookies, pudding finger painting, play dates, etc. Oh, and surprise, surprise, Adam hasn't been a monster all week! Just here and there, which I can totally handle.

Andy

Thanks Suzanne - I will be sure to keep you updated and you can bet that this will be the first place I go to celebrate if we are chosen.

Andy - wow you sure do have a lot going on. I agree with your cleaning strategy. We actually have a small house so I have had to be quite creative with how I organize it. Lots of reshuffling of things so that I can have decent areas that are baby proof!

I think I am able to get more done now that we finally decided that we actually want to adopt/permanent foster one or two special needs babies. It took us a while to really settle with that decision as it's not one made lightly but now I feel more like well if it's not this boy then it will be another so I know I should just get everything done anyway and when the time is right we will get our new addition.

I feel exactly the same with regards to how chaotic it will be when a new one does arrive, I KNOW how much more work 3 kids will be than 2 so I am getting heaps done. And to my pleasant surprise it's working! I think of a problem and then I start cleaning some area and suddenly I have the answer to my problem and I create order. It's great.

Anyway, I wanted you to know that I have been thinking of you and I will celebrate with you when it does happen for you.

Waiting, waiting, waiting ..........................

Any news yet? Thinking of you and your family.

No news. I am actually starting to feel a bit negative now. Maybe we wont be chosen.

Zoe

Zoe,



I hope the delay turns out to be positive. I'll keep praying for you. Remember...love is patient!

Donna

Thanks Donna,

I am telling myself that whatever happens is for the best. If they don't choose us then it means the other family is going to meet his needs better, and that's whats important.

I appreciate your prayers.

Zoe

Thinking of you and hoping you get an update soon. Waiting is so hard.