sweet memories

[IslandDreamer]

It's been a rough few months around here, and it looks to be difficult months of anniversaries in February and March, so I thought we might start a thread celebrating sweet things we remember about our babies or some of the lovely and positive ways they have changed us.

I just wish none of us had a need for this board .

Love,
Suzanne

[Gail]

How ironic that you posted this topic today. I was just sitting trying to hold back tears as I remember, that 2 yrs ago I had lost my baby already but wouldn't find out for 3 or 4 more days. I began to imagine how different my life would be now with a toddler. I cherish every sweet moment I have with my two dd's and I think I spoil them even more since then. I just feel you never know how short one's life might be. For my baby it was just a few weeks inside me, that I feel I didn't (or couldn't) cherish as I should have. I can never get those days back and I look at the only sono pic I have every so often and remeber how much I loved that child and forever will.

[Jenny]

Oh my this is a thread I could totally HOG! Sweet memories, gosh I have a million.

Jordan was diagnosed on Dec 21. On Christmas Eve we went to church and for the very first time I felt him have hiccups!!! It was wonderful!

Every kick, hiccup, stretch mark, all of it.

That moment after the c/s when the nurse held Jordan to my face and let me kiss his tiny mouth and he was looking at me~ I was told he would never be born alive and I was kissing him and he was looking at me~!

His one tiny cry.

The first time my kids saw him and I was in recovery and they ran in to tell me "Mom he is sooo tiny!!"

Watching the video tape moments of his life while I was waiting to see him.

Having him squeeze my finger awwww

Holding him so close to my face, smelling him...

A week after he died and my OB used a certain kind of medical spray on my c/s incision and it was the SAME spray that had been used on Jordan and it smelled just like him. Charles and I both started crying so my OB gave us the can of spray!! (I smelled it just yesterday)

Finding out I was pg with Joshua.

Planning the surprise for a whole week before I told Charles!

Watching Charles SOB when he found out (captured on video)

Feeling Joshua move

Seeing my beautiful Joshua on ultrasounds as he moved his arms and legs so much.

Finding out that Joshua was a boy and picturing those little boys up in Heaven causing a ruckus.

Finding out I was pg with Autumn.

Wearing a maternity shirt the first day I found out!

Anticipating my next blessing.

Thank you for this thread, there are so many wonderful things to remember!

A positive way they changed me? I am definitely more compassionate about losses of any sort. I no longer see special needs children as pitiful. I see them as miracles and blessings, special treasures! I see their families as extra blessed.

love you

jenny

[momtojoyandgrace]

Although my babies never lived outside, I agree that the memories are so sweet. I remember back to when I found out I was pregnant with Zachary. My husband and I went away 2 days after we found out and we were the only people in the world who knew we were pregnant. We planned and dreamed...boy or girl? We couldn't wait to tell our daughters, they would be thrilled!

Having Alison watch Zachary's ultrasound and say, "Hey Mommy, the baby just waved at me! I think he's going to like me lots."

The kisses the girls gave him when he was still alive and kicking inside of me.

Holding Zachary's perfect, tiny body and realizing the amazing creation that he was. Laying his little hand on my finger and counting each finger and toe. Perfectly perfect.

Then after the loss, having Ali's prayers answered (she prayed every night for another baby), by finding out we were pregnant again on her birthday. She cried big happy tears!

The feeling of hope at the positive pregancy tests...
Pure hope.

Thanks for this thread. I need to remember the happy memories more often instead of focusing on the loss. I'm closing this with a smile on my face.

[Kajoskir]

Some sweet memories I have of my precious Kira are when the kids would feel my stomach when she kicked. Or when Kaden would tell her goonight each evening and kiss my belly. I tell them that they actually got to "play" with their sister even though we don't have her with us and I think this brings them comfort. I loved it when when we would try to figure out if she was a boy or a girl and Daddy would jokingly say a puppy. The kids thought that was hilarious.

I remember feeling her kick and for some reason I was so aware of it and I would say thank you sweet baby with relief on many occasions when I felt her move. I feel like I really communicated my love to her durning those times and it gives me a little comfort now that we had special moments together.

I remember seeing her sweet face when she came out and being so relieved that she was just so perfect and I could love and kiss her and say goodbye. I remember everyone else that gave her their love and held her still little body, even though they were sad they can carry her memory in a way that keeps her real to them and makes me share a bond with them that they were such a large part of her very brief existence.

I have learned to be so much more compasionate and aware of others pain. And I have learned that each moment is so very precious because we really don't know how many of them we will have.

I have realized that total strangers can lift me up and feel compassion when they don't even know me. I learned that I can do that too, for others. I realized more people loved and cared and would be there for me than I ever thought possible.

This is a great thread thank you for letting me put into words these precious things I have of my sweet Kira. There are so many more...