I did post, but I think I forgot to hit submit

[kcmjpm23]

I swore I posted an update.

Well, you can imagine it's been so surreal here. Had hte D&E on Tuesday. Very little discomfort or bleeding. Emotionally I feel like a train wreck.

Physically my tummy has returned from a long absence, just enough to make me pscyho!

well at least I can eat FOODMENT:"choc".

I am so clueless as to what we'll do. I mean I feel like I've got all these road blocks to pregnancy:
1) hubbies low sperm count requiring fertility expert
2) two miscarriages at 7 weeks each
3) HG (which everyone pooh poohs as a major problem),
4) am on Paxil and they don't recommend it anymore during pregnancy. I was about to have a battle re: the Paxil, cause primary and fertility docs wanted me off of it and brother and OB wanted me on it. Brothr is a doc. I never got to make that choice.

I am so blessed with my five year old. He's a miracle. And I can feel myself just pushing myself on him and wanting him to be safe. AM trying to curb that as much as I can.

Thank you all ladies for all your support.

Kelly
DS who is 5.5 years old
little angel lost 4/04
little angel lost 11/29/05

[Jenny]

I am so sorry for your pain and loss. I know when I had my c-section and lost Jordan, the physical pain I was going through was torture but that seemed appropriate because my emotions were in such pain. Then I lost Joshua and had the D&C and felt fine. It felt wrong to me that I wasn't in more pain. How could I just be ok? It seemed like my body should match the horrible pain in my heart. With my recent loss, I think my mind and body are in the same place. It all feels so surreal because I only spotted for a few days. I haven't bled any more. I guess I am in denial a bit the trainwreck hasn't really happened yet. But I do see it coming, so far down there. It is weird when people call and ask how I am. Even though my HCG is down to three, I just feel like it hasn't really happened yet.

Anyway, that wasn't meant to be about me, only to say that our minds and bodies are often at odds with each other. And our hearts are a totally separate thing all together.

I will be praying that all your doctors find themselves on the same page so that they can tell you what is the very best for you. I am so sorry for your loss, and for all of this confusion to follow. It all just feels so unfair.

Much love

Jenny

[IslandDreamer]

((Kelly))

Thinking about you and so sorry I missed this post. How are you holding up?

Sending so much love,
Suzanne