My History -- Need a Plan

Discuss ways to prepare yourself, your family, and your protocol for HG.

Moderators: RebeccaM, Susannah

My History -- Need a Plan

Postby HdGAMom2B » May 31, 2004 1:05 pm

Hi New Friends! I was advised to come here, and fill you in on my history, so that we can together create a workable plan, in case my HG returns in this next pregnancy. We are planning a pregnancy, praying to get pregnant soon, and successful and healthy being the goal.

I'm trying to look back at my last pregnancy, and recall details, so I'll just post my experience as vivid as I can remember it.

April 1999, I took a pregnancy test at home, and got a strong purple positive, immediately. That was strange. We went to the Health Department, and they had the same reaction. I was pregnant. So, one day, right after we found out, we were heading to my fathers house for a visit, and I had this 'woosh' feeling come over me. Like a wve came through my body, and all of a sudden, I was crying, afraid, nauseaus. I ad never felt this way before, and it scared me. I went home, without visiting much, because I just didn't feel right. That's when it all started - about week 5.

It started with nausea, and immediately went to vomiting all day long. I tried the crackers in bed before you get up - didnt work. I triedginger ale, it didn't stay down. Water came up. I went to the ER and they told me I was normal, morning sickness, will pass in a few weeks. Push through it. So, I tried to. I went to work, and felt worse and worse, and my sense of smell was so acute, I couldn't even handle my husband's cologne. The only soul that could be with me, was my cat.

Back at the ER, when I stopped peeing. I got fluids, not nutrition, but just fluids, and another speech abuot 'sucking it up', and having a better attitude about this. It's totally normal. Maybe I should talk to a Psych. (gee, that's great, it's all in my head now).... I felt very guity, because the messge I got was that I had caused this, because I weighed 210 pounds, was lazy, admittedly, and we had just eloped 3 months prior. Thre were all kinds of famiy stressors around me, in cluding my father, who swears it's because i'm a lazy butt. Get up, push through it. I COULDN'T. I slipped into a depression, watching Baby Stories On Discovery Channel, and wishing I could at least leave my bedroom and eat just one morsel of food -- maybe family would be proud of me, for again, 'pushing through it'.

Nothing seemed to work. My OB said I was over-reacting, and my family was not supportive. I was in a new marriage, and we were drifting apart already. I couldn't handle the smell of anything, no food cooking, even brushing my teeth made me gag. I couldn't live. I tried a walk around the block, but I womitted and peed my pants all the way around. It was humiliating to go through all of this, as a new couple, and never experiencing this before. It was all new to everyone around me, so I understand how they would assume it's all in my head, but I felt like a prisoner somehow, unable to commuicate like a 'sane person'. I was miserable, crying all the time.

I vomitted night and day, and at one point, had a sonogram. Because I was so miserable, it did not affect me in a positive way. I knew I had a child in there, but my mind was so numb from sickness, that I couldn't accept this in a mentally healthy way, I was just desperate to feel better. This was a WANTED child. This is not me not accepting my baby. I wanted this child with all that was in me. But being that sick changes you. Your mind begins to shut down. You are like a shell, and all the things that once made you alive and vibrant, changes to depression, suicidal feelings, and a sense that you are lost inside yourself. You forget who you are, because you are so alone/scared.

Week 11, and we were seeking a Doctor to perform a DNC for me. I had lost 25 pounds, looked grey, and was bordering on starvation. I had Medical Assistance, but did not receive all that I could have had, treatment wise. I received Phenergan soppositories, Reglan, and ONE SINGLE DOSE of IV Zofran, which helped me tremendously... but the catch was, I had MA, so it didn't cover such a new and pricey medication. So one dose later, and 4 hours of happiness and hope, and i was back to being sick, with no treatment available to me again. (this is what I pray will be the magic bullet for me - Zofran-- because it worked once, and I have god insurance now).

Before we went in for a DNC, I had home health nurses, with IV therapies. I had phlebitis all over my arms, was malnurished but hydrated. They never gave me vitamins and minerals in my IV, jsut fluids. SO.. what's the point of that? I learned how to chagne my fluid bags in the middle of the night, and grew accustomed to that 'click' noise of the digital drip box.. what's it called? oh well. I was able to finally sleep through that sound, and the weirdness of the IV in my arm.

After all this, it was 11 weeks, and we were back at looking for a DNC. I was so sick, had no treatment options,a nd was being told that I'd possibly have kidney failure, or a sick and small child if I kept this up. So, we found a DR. in Baltimore to tell my story, and she received a note from my OB that this was for medical reasons. She did the DNC, which, by the way, my husband could not be there with me, he was not able ot handle what was happening that day. So I was alone... completely.... we still have issues with that day. I cried and cried, and then....

After my 'surgery', I woke up, and felt like ME again. It was like a miracle. I was starving,a nd I thought of a million food items I wanted to eat. I wasnt nauseas, and I felt FREE. It took losing my child, in my mind, to get my life back. I vowed to never get pregnant again, for fear that this would be acted out again, in the same fashion. My first meal: Cheddar Cheese Chunks on White bread, with lots of mustard...

5 years later and one failed adoption in the last month. We are ready to press on, and trust God fully for a blessing. We know that with God all things are possible, and I have to believe that HE will carry us through. It can't be just like last time, because I've dropped 85 pounds. I've changed my life totally, I am mentally stable. I have a great job as a Special Ed Teacher, a loving and supportive family. They all support us trying again, and vow to not judge, but love us. They are so much more educated on HG, because of me and my radical pursuit of informaiton and preparation... I just wanna be a Mommy. So, what do I do next?

Christy -- not pregnant, but will try once this IUD gets taken out, hopefully this week.
HdGAMom2B
Welcomed Friend
 
Posts: 95
Joined: May 30, 2004 6:10 am
Location: Maryland

Ready to Go!

Postby PamelaRose » May 31, 2004 3:16 pm

85 lbs? Wow! You are really ready to go! First off, I'd get the dr on board and make sure he or she is ready to attach HG with the intensity you need. There are still some out there who refuse to use many of the anti-emetics, and it's so much easier to weed them out beforehand rather than in the midst of it!

Work up a step-by-step plan based on your previous HG. Here's a bit of my protocol with my last baby: 100 mg B6 pre-conception; at pos. hpt, up that to 150 mg and add Unisom as needed for nausea. At first overwhelming, "going to puke" day, add Zofran. If vomit more frequently than 1/hour, then get fluids. When 1st vein blows, demand picc. Use your research to develop a step-by-step progression of what you'll try next; it's easier to do that now when things are clear. I would have chickened out of a picc had I not decided to ask for it pre-HG. Because I'd mentioned it to my dr before I was sick, he knew to remind me of it when I was too sick to care anymore. Show your DH and your dr this protocol, get everyone on board with it. Other ladies here will have super ideas--this is just a sample of the approach I took in that area. Good luck!
Pamela

4-Time HG Survivor
*Brody (8-11-98 )
*Avery (1-24-01)
*Reilly (12-16-02)
PamelaRose
Forums Administrator
 
Posts: 6263
Joined: Apr 05, 2004 8:34 pm
Location: Danube, MN

Postby annie1005 » May 31, 2004 3:36 pm

Hi, Christy!

First off, let me say that I am sorry for everything you went through. It sounds like an absolutely horrendous time for you. Also, please know that HG was NOT caused by anything you did. There has been NO research linking HG with psychological factors, weight, or stress (although stress can certainly excacerbate it, as some of us have noticed). People sometimes like to say its all in our heads because no one knows what exactly causes it, but NO RESEARCH WHATSOEVER supports that HG is psychological in nature. That being said, it is impossible to predict whether HG will happen to you again or not. Sometimes it does recur and sometimes it doesn't, and there doesn't seem to be any way to prevent it.

This is my 2nd pregnancy, and I've had HG with both. During both, I felt so bad at times I seriously thought of abortion and/ or suicide. HG just makes you feel that bad. Especially without adequate support and treatment, pregnancy termination really does begin to feel like the only option. Fortunately, I did have good support and a good doctor starting with my first pregnancy - I know I never would have made it without that. In my first, I was sick the whole 9 months, although it did let up a little around the 5 month mark. (I still had nausea and vomiting every day, but I was more able to function later on in the pregnancy). I didn't have the opportunity to prepare for HG (while the first pregnancy was very planned, this one was unintentional). However, if I had, I'd be sure I had a few thngs lined up: a very caring doctor who understood HG and knew about all available treatments, a strong support network who were also educated about HG, financially be in a good place with ample savings and the financial ability to not work if it came to that (do not forget that some people even lose their jobs or have to quit because of HG), and someone who could take over household chores and other responsibilities. When it hits, as you know, it can hit fast and being prepared will hopefully make it a little easier if it does happen to you again.

I really hope you don't get HG again, but if you do, hopefully zofran will help. It is a great medication that seems to help a lot of women. But, you can't always rely on the same meds working for all HG pregnancies. Zofran was a God-send my first pregnancy, and in this one it doesn't seem to help much at all... It may take trying different treatments until you find one (or a combination) that brings some relief. Early treatment is also important, so if you feel HG coming on, don't wait -get in to see the doctor right away. And it is great that you've got better health insurance this time. Bad enough being sick all the time; even worse if you can't get good treatment because of insurance problems.

I'm glad that you have the support now that you didn't seem to have in the first pregnancy. And now you know a lot more about HG and so are more prepared to deal with it, if it does happen. I wish you all the best of luck. HG is such misery, but it is possible to get through it. Hope some of this helps. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. :-) Keep us updated!

Sending you baby dust and wishes for an easier, smoother pregnancy.

-Annie
15 weeks along, miserable but hanging in there...
annie1005
New Member
 
Posts: 25
Joined: May 30, 2004 6:39 am

Postby SusanElder » May 31, 2004 8:01 pm

Wow! After reading whta you went through I felt as if I was reading my experience this past fall. What you said you went through was very similar to mine. We also terminated due to poor or little care and are looking at trying again next month. It is hard at times to believe that we are going to make this plunge again but I have to give it one more try. HG is my demon and I am determined to beat it and have my dream of a healthy child. However - if we are not successful we will adopt. Read all you can from this website. I have found a lot of good information and very knowledgable brave people here. I did not have any of this before and am thankful to have it now.
Best of luck to you -
Susan

Lost #1 10/15/03
TTC in July '04 and praying things are different! Update: We are pregnant! I am due March 26th!
SusanElder
New Member
 
Posts: 15
Joined: May 31, 2004 7:46 pm
Location: Sacramento, CA


Return to Preparation for HG

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron