I am seriously starting to wonder about myself....

[emily]

.....and why on earth I am gearing up for a second baby! LOL I mean really, maybe I am crazy for thinking about willingly putting myself through this again. I have started on 100 mg of B6 oral each day, and I am charting so we can TTC in January and get our insurance co-pays into one year. But, a part of me is just thinking "Emily, you are crazy for doing this!"

<<<deep breath>>>

Mostly, I am just sick and tired of hearing from E_V_E_R_Y_O_N_E that "every pregnancy is different and this time will be better." I feel like everyone around me is going to be really dissappointed if/when it isn't better. Plus, when I was PG before DH and I were living over in Portland, so none of my family really got to see what was going on. They only saw me in the latter part of my PG when I was only throwing up 3 or 4 times a day.

This board makes me feel better though. When I read everyone else in the same TTC position typing out exactly how I feel too, I at least feel understood and not alone. And, thanks to you all, I am getting prepared. And I will try unisom with the next so maybe that will help. I did do prednisone but it was very early in my pregnancy (at 6 weeks I think, 2 weeks after my first missed period) but it was only a two week taper, so maybe I can try a different protocol with it.

A part of me just feels kinda weird knowing how sick I may/will be and knowing that I willingly put myself there... It is amazing how much we love our children isn't it?

[Traci in Japan]

Emily, I think you know why you want to go through hg again. Because having children in your life is wonderful. There are other ways to get there, or you do the clinical preparation for hg and be as ready for pregnancy as possible. You'vVe given yourself until January so hopefully we can all come up with some answers and a plan of action which will make the baby you want a possiblity, and your pregnancy somewhat better (I won't say miraculous).

Do some reading, start making some plans and pepper everyone here with specific questions. We'll do our best for you.

Good luck on this journey.

[PamelaRose]

Emily, you're not crazy! Babies are cute and cuddly and they grow into such fun little beings--who doesn't want more? Yes, not fair that ours don't come easily, but they're so worth it. Many, many, many of us go through HG again and again to get them here. There will be a moment as you're standing up after that first vomit when you slap yourself and wonder what the heck you were thinking, but you have a living, breathing reminder this time around of the prize that awaits at the end. Light at the end of the tunnel! And other people? Most of them honestly believe that "morning sickness" won't happen after the first pregnancy, that there's no way you'll be so sick again. And most of them will be shocked to learn that you are, indeed, just as sick again. But they will rally 'round and support you, even if they're secretly thinking that this HAS to just be another fluke. As long as you're prepared, that's all that matters. So make your plans and preparations and protocols, humor them if necessary by agreeing that 'maybe' you won't be as sick, but stay the course. My last pregnancy was my worst HG, but because I was proactive with planning and treatments, I felt better than I had with the other 3 HGs combined. Good luck to you!

[Brenda]

Emily -

Your not crazy. (Well if you are I am to!). I too am planning my second HG pregnancy. I keep trying to push it out of my mind and just hopefully I will end up pregnant and then just have to deal with it. But there are days it just consumes me and I just need to talk about it. I think all my friends and family are sick of hearing me talk about it and I too am sick of EVERYBODY saying I might not get it again and yes that dreaded phrase "Every pregnancy is different". I equate that to mean, yeah my Hg will probably be worse this time around. I just wish ONE person would say "Well I hope you don't get it again and if you do I will be there for you and your husband and daughter." I guess that's asking too much.

I guess I don't have any answers for you and I am just endlessly rambling. But I wanted you to know you are not alone and not crazy. Good Luck with your quest and if I find those special HG curing powers everybody else seems to think they have I'll send my magic wand your way.

Hugs
Brenda