Don't know what to do about work and ttc

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Don't know what to do about work and ttc

Postby bibliojo » Feb 07, 2005 5:01 pm

Hi all,

I don't know if a thread like this would belong in ttc or here, but I thought I would put it here since I'm not actually ttc yet.

So, last week I learned that there is going to be a new job opening up at work. It would be three days a week, and therefore, enough hours to be eligible for benefits such as 80% of prescriptions meds paid for, short term disability, dentists, eyewear etc. The days that I would work would coincide nicely with DH, my family and dh's family each taking care of him one of the days that I would work. If I get this job (and the chances of me getting it are very good) I could work up enough hours to be eligible for the 55% in pay Canadian women get from the government for 1 year after the birth of a child. This job is permanent too so I would have a job to return to if I so decided after my one year mat leave.

Sounds wonderful, I know. But here is the downside. I thought that they were going to post it in the next couple weeks, but I heard a rumor at work today that it may not be posted until July for a hire date sometime in August. DH and I have been planning for months to ttc in May/June and if this job doesn't start until August, we would have to delay ttc until November/December at the earliest since there is a three month waiting period for benefits after you start the job. This absolutely devastates me. I've been preparing myself physically and mentally for May. I've become excited about having another baby. A couple of my friends are also planning to ttc at the same time and I thought it would be so fun to be pregnant together. I just don't know what to do. This new job would be wonderful but it would come at a cost. I want my kids to be three years apart and they would be more like 4 years apart if I took this job. Also too I would love it if my mom could see another grandchild (she has cancer) and if I wait, she might not see that new grandchild. My mom was also a great support to me during my first pregnancy, her having had HG too and I would love to have that kind of support and understanding from her again.

Does anybody have any advice for me??? I'm just feeling very overwhelmed with this decision. It's not that I have to decide right away but I just want to know where my life is going in the next couple months. I hate this uncertainty especially after having thought that I had everything figured out! :?

Joanna
2 HG pregnancies
Lukas - February 2003
Katya - October 2006

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bibliojo
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Postby Marie » Feb 07, 2005 7:58 pm

Joanna,

I have personally found that no matter what I plan God has different plans for me...

I just started a new career when I found out I was pregnant with baby #2. I was a little concerned as to what would happen with my new job since I was still in orientation. Two weeks later I m/c. Suddenly all of those job worries seemed mute. I was crushed.

Five months later...

I put in for a lateral move, but it was one that had a better schedule with additional pay. I was told that the position was mine, but before I could even sign the papers.. WHAM HG struck me hard.

I put in for FMLA to secure my origional position. I was out for 9 weeks, and saddened by the fact that HG ruined my chances for a better schedule and pay to fit my families needs.

Upon returning to work I looked in my job mailbox and low and behold there were papers for me to sign. My boss held the position for me!!

You never know where life will lead you. Let your heart be your guide.

Best Wishes,
Marie
HG baby arrived 11/18/99.
Lost an Angel 6/04.
HG baby arrived 7/01/05.
Marie
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Postby Natalie » Feb 08, 2005 1:44 pm

Hi Joanna.

You know what? I agree with Marie: I think you should go with what your heart is saying. And I think your heart is saying May :)

You seem to have a long list as to why to ttc in May and only one main point as to why not to go for it in May: the job and it's associated benefits. So here some questions that may help you come to a decision. Or, they may muddy the water even further...

1. Are the job and it's associated benefits really worth waiting for?
2. Can you deal with the fact that you may not get pg at the first go and so your kids maybe more than 4 years apart?
3. Can you deal with all your friends being pg and you not? Because take it from me, even though you're very happy for your friends, it's horrible when they are all pg are you're not. Even if you do get HG.

I suppose I would only say wait til Oct / Nov if:
1. You are really career oriented and this job would be good for you
2. You can't afford the baby without the insurance / mat. benefits associated with the job
3. It's the job of your dreams.

Speaking personally, I came to a place where I realised that at this moment in time, I can have my career or I can have babies. But I can't have them both at the same time. So I chose more babies. I figure there will always be more jobs and plenty of opportunity to get my career back on track after the children have gone to school. And I'm not that career oriented really.

Take care Sweetie and I hope you feel peaceful with whatever decision you make. God will be faithful to you no matter what you decide :D

Natalie, x
Natalie
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Location: Auckland, NZ

Postby Natalie » Feb 08, 2005 1:45 pm

Hi Joanna.

You know what? I agree with Marie: I think you should go with what your heart is saying. And I think your heart is saying May :)

You seem to have a long list as to why to ttc in May and only one main point as to why not to go for it in May: the job and it's associated benefits. So here some questions that may help you come to a decision. Or, they may muddy the water even further...

1. Are the job and it's associated benefits really worth waiting for?
2. Can you deal with the fact that you may not get pg at the first go and so your kids maybe more than 4 years apart?
3. Can you deal with all your friends being pg and you not? Because take it from me, even though you're very happy for your friends, it's horrible when they are all pg are you're not. Even if you do get HG.

I suppose I would only say wait til Oct / Nov if:
1. You are really career oriented and this job would be good for you
2. You can't afford the baby without the insurance / mat. benefits associated with the job
3. It's the job of your dreams.

Speaking personally, I came to a place where I realised that at this moment in time, I can have my career or I can have babies. But I can't have them both at the same time. So I chose more babies. I figure there will always be more jobs and plenty of opportunity to get my career back on track after the children have gone to school. And I'm not that career oriented really.

Take care Sweetie and I hope you feel peaceful with whatever decision you make. God will be faithful to you no matter what you decide :D

Natalie, x
Natalie
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Posts: 6386
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Location: Auckland, NZ

Postby Natalie » Feb 08, 2005 1:46 pm

Hi Joanna.

You know what? I agree with Marie: I think you should go with what your heart is saying. And I think your heart is saying May :)

You seem to have a long list as to why to ttc in May and only one main point as to why not to go for it in May: the job and it's associated benefits. So here some questions that may help you come to a decision. Or, they may muddy the water even further...

1. Are the job and it's associated benefits really worth waiting for?
2. Can you deal with the fact that you may not get pg at the first go and so your kids maybe more than 4 years apart?
3. Can you deal with all your friends being pg and you not? Because take it from me, even though you're very happy for your friends, it's horrible when they are all pg are you're not. Even if you do get HG.

I suppose I would only say wait til Oct / Nov if:
1. You are really career oriented and this job would be good for you
2. You can't afford the baby without the insurance / mat. benefits associated with the job
3. It's the job of your dreams.

Speaking personally, I came to a place where I realised that at this moment in time, I can have my career or I can have babies. But I can't have them both at the same time. So I chose more babies. I figure there will always be more jobs and plenty of opportunity to get my career back on track after the children have gone to school. And I'm not that career oriented really.

Take care Sweetie and I hope you feel peaceful with whatever decision you make. God will be faithful to you no matter what you decide :D

Natalie, x
Natalie
Forum Moderator
 
Posts: 6386
Joined: May 29, 2004 6:17 pm
Location: Auckland, NZ

Postby Natalie » Feb 08, 2005 1:46 pm

Hi Joanna.

You know what? I agree with Marie: I think you should go with what your heart is saying. And I think your heart is saying May :)

You seem to have a long list as to why to ttc in May and only one main point as to why not to go for it in May: the job and it's associated benefits. So here some questions that may help you come to a decision. Or, they may muddy the water even further...

1. Are the job and it's associated benefits really worth waiting for?
2. Can you deal with the fact that you may not get pg at the first go and so your kids maybe more than 4 years apart?
3. Can you deal with all your friends being pg and you not? Because take it from me, even though you're very happy for your friends, it's horrible when they are all pg are you're not. Even if you do get HG.

I suppose I would only say wait til Oct / Nov if:
1. You are really career oriented and this job would be good for you
2. You can't afford the baby without the insurance / mat. benefits associated with the job
3. It's the job of your dreams.

Speaking personally, I came to a place where I realised that at this moment in time, I can have my career or I can have babies. But I can't have them both at the same time. So I chose more babies. I figure there will always be more jobs and plenty of opportunity to get my career back on track after the children have gone to school. And I'm not that career oriented really.

Take care Sweetie and I hope you feel peaceful with whatever decision you make. God will be faithful to you no matter what you decide :D

Natalie, x
Natalie
Forum Moderator
 
Posts: 6386
Joined: May 29, 2004 6:17 pm
Location: Auckland, NZ

Postby Natalie » Feb 08, 2005 1:46 pm

Hi Joanna.

You know what? I agree with Marie: I think you should go with what your heart is saying. And I think your heart is saying May :)

You seem to have a long list as to why to ttc in May and only one main point as to why not to go for it in May: the job and it's associated benefits. So here some questions that may help you come to a decision. Or, they may muddy the water even further...

1. Are the job and it's associated benefits really worth waiting for?
2. Can you deal with the fact that you may not get pg at the first go and so your kids maybe more than 4 years apart?
3. Can you deal with all your friends being pg and you not? Because take it from me, even though you're very happy for your friends, it's horrible when they are all pg are you're not. Even if you do get HG.

I suppose I would only say wait til Oct / Nov if:
1. You are really career oriented and this job would be good for you
2. You can't afford the baby without the insurance / mat. benefits associated with the job
3. It's the job of your dreams.

Speaking personally, I came to a place where I realised that at this moment in time, I can have my career or I can have babies. But I can't have them both at the same time. So I chose more babies. I figure there will always be more jobs and plenty of opportunity to get my career back on track after the children have gone to school. And I'm not that career oriented really.

Take care Sweetie and I hope you feel peaceful with whatever decision you make. God will be faithful to you no matter what you decide :D

Natalie, x
Natalie
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Posts: 6386
Joined: May 29, 2004 6:17 pm
Location: Auckland, NZ

Postby Natalie » Feb 08, 2005 1:51 pm

Ooops :oops:

I pressed the button too many times when my computer was on a go-slow :P
Natalie
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Postby bibliojo » Feb 08, 2005 6:01 pm

Oh, so that's what happened!! :lol:

No, you guys are right. I've had a bit of time to think about it and I'm being more rational today. Of course, I still have to talk all this over with DH and both of us come to agreement over what to do, but here's my thoughts.

1. I haven't been guaranteed the job. I could be putting ttc on the line for NOTHING. Then that is really not worth it!

2. We originally planned for May because the HG would coincede with when we would have the most help. If I were to plan ttc in Nov/Dec, I wouldn't be getting a lot of help as my MIL doesn't take her holidays in the winter and my sis would be in school. So really we'd have to wait until May next year and then my kids would be 4+ years apart - something that I personally am not too excited about. The age gap between my children would be for life - this job would not be.

3. I'm not really that career orientated. I really don't have to work - we just make do with less. And Nat is right. There will be other job openings. There always are. Giving up this job would certainly not destroy my career.

This is a possiblity that came to mind this morning...I don't know if my employer would go for it, but if I plan to ttc in May and if I fall pregnant right away, I would have the worst of the HG out of the way in time for the job's start date of late August/September (I'm speculating that if they post it sometime in July it will be a start date for the beginning of the school year). Of course, I would have to let them know that I was pregnant during the interview, but technically they aren't supposed to discriminate against pregnant women. The downside is that I wouldn't get all my meds that I need for my pregnancy paid for, but I could still probably work up enough hours to get the 55% pay from the government. And I would have a job to return to if I so choose.

Better yet, maybe if I just leave this all in God's hands and go where he leads me instead of making plans of my own here! :) We'll see what happens. At least I'm feeling at bit more peace that whatever happens, happens.

Hugs,
Joanna
2 HG pregnancies
Lukas - February 2003
Katya - October 2006

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bibliojo
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Update

Postby bibliojo » Feb 20, 2005 3:19 pm

Just an update for all those who are interested...

The job will definately not be posted until the summer with a start time sometime the end of summer. I think that they have changed the status of it from permanent to temporary so there goes a big draw. I wouldn't have a job to return to after the pregnancy is over and I may not be able to accumulate enough hours to get maternity benefits from the government during the time of the contract. So DH and I have decided to still TTC in May but if I'm not pregnant when it is posted I still may apply. We'll see what happens!

Joanna
2 HG pregnancies
Lukas - February 2003
Katya - October 2006

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bibliojo
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Location: Vancouver, Canada


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