You know you have HG when...

Share an uplifting story from your pregnancy or triumph over HG to help others find a way to laugh & remain hopeful. Post your children's updates, brag pics, and milestones.

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You know you have HG when...

Postby sonnenschein_britta » Aug 19, 2006 3:23 am

So Jeff Foxworthy does the "You know you are a redneck when... you look for a wife a family reunion." type jokes. I am introducing "You know you have Hg when..." fantasize about food more than sex.'d rather try to drink poison than water, since you know for sure water is going to make you sick are "frequent flier" at the local ER
....IV's full of fluid dripping into your arm are a cause of joy and celebration
....for the first time in your life you actually WANT to gain weight've nicknamed the toilet
....putting on pants and brushing your hair constitutes the bulk of your grooming on a GOOD day
....your leg hair is so long that its not scratchy anymore

and now back to you! I am certain you all have some "you know you have Hg when...." that can enterain the rest of us.

Living La Vida Loca....
(aka. slowly going crazy while sick and stuck in the house!!)
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Postby justme » Aug 19, 2006 6:55 pm

after giving birth, you're more concerned about eating (finally - it's been a long 9 months) than where they are taking your baby to clean her up

For the record, I had already done lots of cuddling with her and I couldn't go with her anyway (I sent hubby - didn't want her out of atleast one of ours sight).
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Postby peanut » Aug 19, 2006 7:05 pm

- You choose foods based not on how they taste going down, but how they taste coming back up

- Your major accomplishment for the day is drinking something

- When you go to the ER you have your own flushes and alcohol pads on hand to give the nurse when she forgets hers

- Your handbag looks like a medicine cabinet

- You feel an intense desire and longing to strangle whomever next tells you to eat a cracker (or other equally impossible thing)
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Postby janiecw » Oct 11, 2006 10:53 am

you have a collection of plastic "barf" bags in your purse

you look lustfully at food commercials {then promptly vomit at the sight of food}

you look foward to IV's
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Postby tgger007 » Oct 11, 2006 11:55 am

**You become addicted to Food Network to torture yourself

**You bring your own medicines to the Hospital for you know there will be a fuss about them

**You celibrate if you were able to eat 500 calories in a day

**Puking only 3 times is a BIG accomplishment

**You want to murder other pregnant women you see eating stuff when you have enough strength to get out of the house.

**The pharmasist knows you by name and is also countdowning your pregnancy.

**You have your insurance on speed dial

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Postby Rubygirl8808 » Oct 20, 2006 10:07 am

Oh I have got PLENTY for your viewing pleasure ladies...

**when everybody assumes you are hungover-not pregnant because you look so bad and have no bump***
**your neighbors are not suprised to see you you puking in the bushes anymore after every car trip**
**your husband strips his clothes off before coming in the door because you can smell him a mile away**
**your sink is overflowing with "spit cups"**
**you actually wish your DH would discover internet porn and leave you the heck alone!**
**thanks to zofran you can have one tiny little rabbit poo every 2weeks-and that is an accomplishment-and the reward comes with a tube of preparation H!**
**instead of making lists of things you will need when the baby comes, you make lists of everything you will EAT when the baby comes**
**you feel like you have the magical power to "smell" the food on your tv screen and have to change the channel fast before you puke**
**There is a pillow and a blanket in your bathroom**
**Your husband is no longer allowed to poo in "your" toilet**
**you wanted a family of 5, but are now planning on sterilization**
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Postby Mikey&Bree'sMama(src) » Oct 20, 2006 3:17 pm

Very funny so far!!

Just a couple I thought of:

**Your husband asks for permission to come to bed, because any movement makes you want to puke

**You don't cry when you see greeting card commercials, you cry when you see resturant commercials

**The OB nurses know you by sight because you've had so many IVs, and you aren't due for another 6 months

**You can count hospital visits by the number of IV brusises
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Postby caleighbelle47 » Oct 20, 2006 3:56 pm

You choose foods based not on how they taste going down, but how they taste coming back up

:lol: , I totally agree with that one.
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Postby Xphile_mo » Oct 26, 2006 10:07 am


Oh every one of these are brilliant but - rubygirl - I could SOOOO have written each one of yours .... and every one cracked me up!! I've been laughing so hard my tummy muscles now hurt!!! :lol: :lol:
Moira x x x

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Postby Sweetp203125 » Oct 27, 2006 9:22 pm

* When U can time it so when u puke its only liquad that comes up*
* When the ER Staff knows U by name and tell U they will get ur room ready for u* :roll:
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Postby NBogue » Jan 29, 2007 6:13 pm

You know you have HG when you can throw up while driving without stopping the car!! :sickfast:
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Postby OC Mommy » Jan 29, 2007 6:46 pm

I've been laughing so hard. I loved the internet porn.

You know you have HG when you can MULTITASK !

Magically puke, pee, snot, and cry all at the same time !
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Postby kk » Jan 30, 2007 2:31 pm

you know you have hg when your tongue sticks to the top of your mouth....
- when you will quite happily use supositories with no complaining
- when you have a favourite position to spew in the toilet so it does not splash your face
-when you favour the toilet or the bucket to spew in
- because your poo takes ten hours to get out and looks like the size of a tennis ball
-when you visit this forum nearly every other day
- when your pre-pregnacy pants still fit at 20 weeks
Kate x x x x x x x x
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Postby starfish » Jan 31, 2007 2:28 pm

You know you have HG when:
-You know doctors jargon
-the dr compliments on how neat you just threw up.
-You can tell everyone what every food tastes like coming up.
-you have peed on the floor while puking, and it doesn't phase you.
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Postby mfenton4 » Feb 02, 2007 8:26 am

so funny and true....all of them. I just made that porn comment to my husband the other day !! and I do have a list of all the foods Im going to eat when the baby comes out....and, this is even more pathetic....I have in my mind the route we are going to take driving home from the hospital so we can pass all the fast food places and dairy queen in one shot so I can load up !! how sad is that ? here is want to slap all your fluffy pregnant friends, even the ones whom you love and adore.....because they just dont get it !!
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Postby Xphile_mo » Feb 02, 2007 3:47 pm

Oh, I have my home route planned too!!! Funnily enough, it includes McDonalds + the pizzeria!! :lol:
Moira x x x

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Postby Cindygirl » Feb 03, 2007 1:30 pm

Loving it...a couple to add. can smell the take out food your dh brought home, and the box is still closed
...going to sleep at night takes 2 long hrs of tossing and turning, throwing up and medicating, and it's a major accomplishment feel like your smeller must be magical because you swear you can smell your neighbors meals and it makes you sick can't even shower or bathe yourself, you're too weak so your dh has to do it for you
...your son throws up and it starts a throw up fest, you throw up, he throws up, you throw up, he throws up can't open the fridge without the smells making you :sickfast:
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Kalli-9 yo dd, moderate HG
Tiarra-5 yo dd, no HG
Michael-2 1/2 yo, mild HG
PG with baby boy, moderate HG

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Postby Princesshood » Feb 03, 2007 4:56 pm

Sooooo true.
When you look forward to eating at a buffet more than your babies birth.
When your children, even the little ones, take better care of you than you do.
When people say "I hope the baby is healthy" and you think " Yeah, I just want it out."
When labor pains are the easy part.
When you put on the clothes you want to wear tomorrow the night before bed because you know you'll be too sick in the morn. to change.
When your house looks like you have no idea how to clean or pick up after your little one.
When you can't lay down at night, not because the pain in your back, but because of the pain in your front.
When your idea of fun is being able to hold down food.
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Postby Xphile_mo » Feb 03, 2007 5:00 pm

LMAO @ the "I just want it out!" comment there - remember first asking at 14 weeks if they could just take it out then and it still be healthy ie was 40 weeks REALLY necessary!?!?! :roll: :P

There are so many on here that are fab, true and I can relate to. The only one I can think of to add is:

when people ask you what you're craving and you reply "FOOD!" :shock:
Moira x x x

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Postby Princesshood » Feb 03, 2007 6:05 pm

From PrincessHood's DH:
You know your wife has HG when you have been performing household duties (on top of work) so much you say things like, "Can't you people just rinse off the dishes before you put them in the sink!" and other equally motherly things.

These are all great!
Just one more...

You know your wife has HG when you would rather order food (every night) and buy the whole family a new wardrobe than make dinner and wash another load of laundry!

Good luck everyone! Glad I found this website for my wife, although now I understand how she felt when I used to have the time to spend every waking hour in front of the computer, but at least her participating in these forums makes her feel (normally I would say better) less bad... hehe
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