Inquest report.

[AmberWest]

My mother and I were talking about a vacation up to see her next summer after the baby is born. She suggested bringing our dogs with to avoid putting them in a kennel. I thought about this a moment and this was my reply sent via email...

Inquest Report
Subject: Mass Murder on interstate I55

State Trooper: Well your honor, it seems it happened like this.
One Ms. Amber Ravenhill suffered a bout of temporary insanity on a drive from Asheville NC to see her mother in Chicago. Her statement reads thus...

We loaded up the car with baby, items and dogs for our trip. All was going fine up until we left the end of the driveway when misc. dog started stomping all over the back seat trying to decide which window he wanted to look out of all the while trampling baby and other dog in his glee. Had to stop the car 3 blocks from the house to readjust car seat into the center of the backseat to allow each dog their own window, like it or not.
Managed to get to the interstate before the first puppy argument broke out.
Dog #1 ' bark, bark' Translation: Are we there yet?
Dog #2 ' bark, bark' Translation: I wanna look out the other window! I know I saw a bird in that tree.
Amber. 'Shut up!'
Dog # 1 'bark, bark' Translation. I have to pee.
Dog # 2 'bark, bark' Translation. Me too.
Amber. Why didn't you think of this before we left the house?
Stopped car, let dogs pee, gives baby bottle.
23.2 minutes later.
Baby. 'Wet diaper!' Then proceeds to whip off diaper throwing it up front with abandon. Diaper lands on father's head, narrowly misses on coming truck trying to remove a poopy, not wet diaper from head.
Father. 'Censored’
Dog # 1 'bark, bark' Translation. Are we there yet?
Dog #2 'bark, bark' Translation. Hey, what'd you throw that diaper away for that looked tasty, speaking of, I'm hungry.
Amber. 'Gives large does of xanax to all dogs'
Dog #1 'tries to see if he can fit his 80.b self into back window deck for his nap... fails, lands on other dog, argument ensues.'
Dog #2 'bark, bark' Translation. See, this is why they don't take us anywhere! 'Gets distracted by squirrel fart, starts barking.
Baby. 'Crying for no reason what so ever.'
Dogs’ sleep for a record breaking 7 minutes until baby pulls someone’s tail and barking ensues once more. Baby feeling satisfied with this turn of events promptly goes back to sleep.
Amber. This is how it went on until the IL boarder when Father says, Hey, you want to drive? I need a break.
I don't remember anything after that until the police officer pulled me out from my hiding place in the trunk. Strangely there were bits of father all over the road, and a couple of dogs clinging to various tree branches. I just don't understand it.
Dog #1 ‘bark, bark’ Translation. Are we there yet?
Dog #2 ‘bark, bark’ Translation. Did I hear a squirrel fart in your tree? I wanna be up that tree, you have a better tree!
Amber: ‘twitch, twitch.’
State Trooper: And that’s how it happened your honor. Oh yes, and apparently the baby ran away hoping to find a more sane family to live with.

[BrandiJK]

I think I have been on that trip before!!!!!

[dwtegli]

Amber, you are awesome. I am laughing so hard I am crying. I've been on that trip also, except it was three kids, instead of one baby and 2 dogs.

[HelenA]

OMG, I soooo needed that!! I have been stressed out all evening, and now I'm feeling better!! That is the EXACT reason why we don't take the two dogs with us when we go away!

[bibliojo]

That is too funny!

Joanna

[helen-l-a]

I enjoyed that, very funnyxx

Helenxxx