"Here she comes, Ms. HG Universe..."

[IslandDreamer]

You know the tune and the pageant. How's about our own online pageant? (Those who know me are wondering how long I've been nursing this idea, eh? )

Okay, Ms. Universe has no talent competition, which is good since we all have HG, right? They do have evening gown, swimwear, and interview. There is also most photogenic and ms. congeniality. Can you think of other things?

I think the evening gown competition would be funniest with all of us in our stinky pajama finery...mats in our hair, no toothbrush in site, and acne all over the place from lack of washing. Did I mention the stink?

Next would be swimwear, which could, now that I think of it, be pretty entertaining since all HGers are pregnant. I can see a required two piece swimsuit. Again, stink points would be awarded. But I'm torn as to what would be worth more points...the corn rows on my legs, the dreadlocks at my bikini line, or the bushes under my pits.

And finally, we have the interview portion. I think this should take place in an ER with a belligerent practitioner who sees no reason for our presence in their establishment...even though our lips are chapped (again, colored chapstick to coordinate with swimwear will be issued), we've not held anything down in six days, we're spilling ketones in our urine, we've lost 10 pounds in as many days, and did I mention we can't keep anything down? I believe this is the proper setting for the interview. Points awarded for attitude, fight, and colorful language.

Can't wait to see what you all add.

[Atsie]

LOL its amazing what you come up with when your head is hanging over the toilet!
Erin

[aaronsmommy]

Is that evening gown, or hospital gown Suzanne?

[IslandDreamer]

Aimee, you make a good point. Hospital gown does sound most appropriate.

In this world of irony, I just caught the rather cheesy Mrs. World pageant .

[helen-l-a]

LOL

Your postings are always a pleasure........ thank youxxx

Do we get marks for cultivated hairy legs? I think best styled bikini line may be entertaining going along the lines of your comment.

Helenxxx

[carla]

I think this thread is so funny so I had to reply. Suzanne, I think we can include the talent portion. Most musical vomit, furthest spitting contest, loudest zofran poop? I am sure that we al excel in some area of another!

[BrandiJK]

Can we dress up those locks in the bikini area? You know, maybe some beads, bells, ribbons...maybe even let this be an option on our leg hair as well?

And I think we could add a few more talents. Quickest sprint to the bathroom after something has instigated nausea, (and in public restrooms...followed by the quickest sprint OUT of the bathroom to nearest curb, bucket, plant, whatever is handy), greatest pissed off and so done w/ crackering comment, and of course, who could possible forget the farthest shooting pee (and most amount) when vomiting or sneezing? We could all raise our hienies toward a marked wall, and at "ready, aim, fire!" release! Bonus points for hitting the bullseye! (I, proudly, claim this prize as my own w/ out even needing a compitition!) Never have depends looked so helpful as this pregnancy!

Does the stinkiest, grungiest, dirtiest, greasiest, grumpiest, could care less any more-ist, wet panty-ist and most vomity smelling-ist win a bile colored sash? Perhaps written in sequence the color of lovely acid? Oh, such a lovely prize to claim!!