My HG Experiences

[JudyC]

Hello,

I have been hanging around this website for a while (during both my HG pregnancies) reading stories and gaining encouragment. Your stories have helped me to realize that I wasn't alone in my suffering and I gained much comfort from that. HG is a problem people just don't understand and so it's good to hear from those who do understand. Now I've finally decided that it's high time I share my story.

I'm a 37 year old Canadian living in Australia, married to an Australian. After struggling to become pregnant for some time and then finally conceiving on my second cylce of IVF, my husband and I were so happy and thrilled. We were on such a high. Finally my hardships and struggles with infertility and IVF were over and we were going to be parents. We expected the pregnancy to be a happy and exciting time, free of any problems, because after all, we figured that we had already paid our dues! How could we have been so wrong!

After a week of bliss, it began. I woke up one morning feeling so very nauseous. It was a strange sort of nausea as it never went away. I've always been the sort of person that hated being nausea and vomiting more than anything. It always scared me so much.

After a week, the vomiting began. It was nonstop. Every 15 minutes. I was given ginger, vitamin B6 injections, Stemetil suppositories and Maxalon. Nothing helped. By the next weekend I went into hospital for IV. First of several visits. I was dumbfounded and couldn't understand what was happening to me. Surely this wasn't typical "morning sickness"? I was also becoming angry and depressed. All my friends were getting pregnant on there first attempts, or so they said, and were having wonderful pregnancies. God must have been punishing me for something. I also became very angry with God.

For my second visit to a hospital, I went to a different hospital. I decided to shop around. It paid off. They gave me Zofran. It helped for a while to reduce the vomiting. However, I didn't know I could increase the dosage. Anyway, the vomiting got worse again. A couple more trips to the hospital for IV and dealing with ignorant and rude medical staff. Fortunately, my husband is very strong and was able to battle for me. He wasn't going to put up with any mistreatment. You need someone to bat for you in these situations.

The struggles continued. The Zofran caused constipation that at times I thought was worse than the vomiting. Then it occurred to me. I could end my suffering by either terminating my pregnancy or by killing myself. I was so depressed. I had no support except my husband who was at work. You see, all my family are in Canada. I booked an appointment for an abortion. My husband said he'd divorce me if I went through with it. So I ended up cancelling my appointment the night before for fear of having to go through it all alone.

I went back into the hospital for a week where they kept a close eye on me and organized for a psychologist to visit me regarding my frequent panic attacks and suicidal thoughts. I was so scared of throwing up just one more time that I'd have an actual panic attack. Anyway, they increased my dosage of Zofran and gave me Ranitidine. I seemed to stabilise.

My mother then came out from Canada for 10 weeks to nurse me back to health. Eventually the nausea started easing and by around 22 weeks I had only mild nausea which lasted the duration of the pregnancy. I gave birth by C-section to a beautiful baby girl, Rachel Emilie. She was so worth it all.

Having suffered fertility problems, our methods of contraception weren't that great and I was shocked to find myself pregnant again when my first was only 10 months old. I totally freaked out! I cried hysterically. I was so terrified of going through HG again. Once again my life would be turned upside down.

Fortunately we were experienced this time and I was able to get onto Zofran much earlier. As a result I didn't get quite as sick as the first time. This time I tried accupuncture, but it didn't work. I also was given Droperidol while in the hospital which helped a lot. I also found that sniffing peppermint oil helped take the edge off the nausea. My mother couldn't come out from Canada this time as she was going through chemotherapy for colon cancer and my father was very sick with Alzheimers disease. I certainly had a lot on my mind and became depressed again. Fortunately a friend of mine flew out from Canada and stayed with us for a while and helped care for me and my toddler. As the depression became quite severe, my GP paid me some home visits and ended up prescribing me the antidepressant Mertazapine. It has also been known to help with nausea. Well, the next day the nausea was almost completely gone. It was amazing! I continued to suffer mild nausea for the remainder of my pregnancy and took Zofran and Mertazapine, but it was totally manageable. Unfortunately my emotional trials were far from over. My father passed away while I was 7 months pregnant and I was unable to fly back to Canada to be with my family and for the funeral. It was an awful year. On the bright side, I gave birth by C-section to a healthy, beautiful baby girl, Jessica Hope.

Jessica is now 9 months old and doing really well. My mother has finished chemotherapy and seems to have beaten the cancer. I still suffer flashbacks to those awful early days of my pregnancies. Sometimes I lie in bed and can't sleep as I relive those experiences in my mind. I also suffer many food aversions. I wonder if the nightmares will ever go away? On the bright side, I have two beautiful little girls who bring me much joy. Oh, I also had a tubal ligation. So definitely no more HG for me.

Good luck to all of you who are suffering HG. Hang in there. Please, please make sure you are getting the help and support you need. It's so important, and can make all the difference.

HG Survivor in Australia,

Judy C