So grateful for this!

[brookelucy]

It was so wonderful to discover this website recently, and to come here and hear so many stories of women who have been thru the same things I have! I can't even begin to say how much closure it has given me! Thank you for sharing your stories.
I have two girls and I suffered from HG both times. The first time I thought at first that it was just the awful morning sickness I had heard about. But it quickly got more awful than I had ever thought it would be. The worst part is we were visiting family for the holidays. It was awful feeling that sick and not being home, and having all of these pungent smells from the Christmas cooking, the smell of ham! Awww it still makes me sick! I wasn't home, I wasn't close to my prenatal doctor and I didn't know what to do. I couldn't even keep water down. I remember just craving water, just wishing I could chug down a large glass, but when I tried even a sip it would fiz up inside me and I would throw up again. My husband talked to a doctor at church and came home and immediatly took me to the ER, it was New Year's eve, and the nausea was so horrible I couldn't hand light, smells, motion, stress, and sounds. They gave me an I.V. I remember having to fly home like this and being so worried that I would throw up infront of people at the airport or on the plane, but miraculously I didn't! My doctor at home put me on Zofran and after that it all improved! Thank heavens.
My second pregnancy was five times worse! Some women had told me that it was just because it was my first time and so the second time would be better. But these women had never had HG. Two weeks after I found out that I was pregnant, within a weeks time I was throwing up five times a day, I was in my bed in the dark, not wanting to eat anything I could possibly imagine. If my husband came in the room too fast I would throw up. My doctor who was not my doctor during my first pregnancy, was new at this condition, even though he had been doing prenatal care for 25 years. I had to go thru all of the mild treatments which I knew would not work, and then the zofran this time didn't even work. The night when I finally threw up blood, my doctor was contacted and since he was luckily already at the hospital with a delivery, he had them prepare a room for me to be admitted. I was adimitted into the surgery recovery floor and I don't think any of the nurses there quite understood what was wrong with me. I felt so alone, and I felt like so many people had not even heard of this condition, or understood how dibilitating it was. My whole chest and throat felt like it was filled up with acid. They gave me fluids and medication thru a standard IV, and then my doctor gratefully dicided to put a P.I.C. line in. I was terrified and missed my daughter and husband so bad. One night in the hospital I had a sever allergic reaction to a medication that my doctor had tried, where my jaw would smasm violently to the side like someone was repeatedly hitting me in the jaw. It happened two nights in a row, because even though they immediatly stopped this certain medication it was still in my system.
I went home with the PIC line still in and my husband and mother were trained in giving me my TPN and medications. I was on heavy liquid zofran and dyphedenhydramine (benadryll) givin thru the PIC line.
One of the worst parts for me was my first child who was used to having mommy home everyday with her, was suddenly carted off everyday to a different home while my husband went to work. I could tell she was scared at seeing me like this and she reacted by detaching herself from me emotionally (she was 1 1/2years at the time). Then after four months of this in one weeks time all of a sudden food slowly started to sound good again. The very first thing was orange juice. Then the list grew and grew. My hair stopped feeling so brittle and my lips finally stopped cracking and bleeding.
But then, one week after I had started eating again I had the most painful attack in my abdomen, it felt like I was dying. The next morning I found out it was my gallbladder that had become badly infected from not eating for so long. The next day I had surgery, and was back in the hospital, and back in the surgery recovery ward.
One month later my PIC line was removed. This was the most awful experience of my life. I wanted to have more than two children, but I don't know if I could ever put my family thru that or go thru it again myself. My two girls however are the greatest blessings in my life. And I will somehow, yes, be grateful for this experience. Reading some of your stories, I am grateful that I was blessed with two healthy babies in the end. My heart goes out to all of you who have had to suffer such awful loss due to HG. And although we, I'm sure, have all been surounded by women who can not even begin to understand how HG feels, two years later I am grateful to have found this website and realize that I'm not alone afterall!