HG affects everything

[MamaLily]

Hi! My name is Anna and I am from Salt Lake City, Utah. I have one beautiful daughter who will be 2 in June. While pregnant with her, I had severe HG. It was the hardest experience in my life. I realized while pregnant that HG would change the course of my life in many ways but several years later I am seeing more ways in which my life is changed from HG. The plans I had for my life are different now. I see life differently. Although HG was so hard to endure, I feel greater peace all the time when I think of what I learned from my experiences.

I truly hope that this forum will be a place where we can talk about how HG affects us - in positive ways and in negative ways. I'm so interested to hear your thoughts on this subject...

[teddi]

Anna,

I can relate to how you feel. HG didn't just impact me, but my husband and family too. While me and my husband we "trying" for this pregnancy, we didn't tell anyone. I didn't want to hear all the possible feedback. Really, it is just that my family (my mother, stepdad) were scared (like I was). The thought of being pregnant can be just terrifying. The first thing my mother said was "Are you sick? Are you ok?". She literally had a nervous breakdown during my first pg, when I was living in their home. She had to go on Paxil. And literally when I needed support the most, she couldn't give it because my being so sick was more than she could bear.

HG left it's mark permanently. While I didn't get but one tiny little stretch mark (which looks more like a scar than a stretch mark), I do have my 4 scars from having my gallbladder surgery. Not that I would really because I've gained a little weight, but wearing a two piece bathing suit would make me feel very uncomfortable. I also have IBS, which my gastro dr said is probably due to the fact I don't have my gallbladder and my liver overcompensates. That's a daily thing. So everytime I have go run to the bathroom because i have to go NOW, I know in the back of my mind it's all because of the HG. When we eat out, 80% of the time I am going to be experiencing cramping and diarrhea. I hope someday it will all go away, but for now, it's a new daily thing I get to cope with.

What's even more ironic is that I've had three different bouts with the IBS where the symtoms were so bad, it made me have vomiting sessions. Years later, not even pregnant, and HG still making me vomit! I would probably like to have 4 children, or at least 3. But I'm hoping that all goes well with #2. Do this again? AGAIN? It's not even as bad as it was the last time and I just want to cry daily because the nausea is ever-present.

Sometimes I feel two things at the same time: a) I'm weak because I can't throw myself to the wolves and do this as many times as I want children and b) like I think I'm strong, because I've been as sick as a cancer patient and lived through it. Sometimes I feel isolated when it comes to pregnancy/kids. Only someone who has endured HG can understand. HG robs you, kicks you, and taunts you. "What do you want more? Your health or your family?"

I don't focus on it, but I know that my first pregnancy has changed my body and my health, at this point, permanently.

Teddi

[MamaLily]

Teddi -

I think you are absolutely a survivor. There is nothing weak about a person who has been very ill and then is willing to sacrifice again for a child. HG survivors are strong! If we weren't, then how would we survive during and after pregnancy? And how could we volunteer for another round of HG? Yes, I think you are strong and courageous. And I know you will make it through this pregnancy!

HG definitely does affect those around us. I'm sorry that it took such a toll on your mom...that must have been tough on you as well as her. And I hope your dh comes to understand better what you are suffering. It is tough to make it through HG even with great support. Those who make it without complete support are amazing!

I wanted to mention that my both my mom and my mother-in-law had their gallbladders removed (both not HG-related) and they have quite a lot of diarrhea. Maybe too much info. But my mother-in-law takes some medicine every morning (she mixes it into her orange juice) and it really helps her. Maybe it would be worth asking your doctor about it?

Hang in there. You are brave to do this again. I know you'll make it - and then you'll have a BABY! What a miraculous reward for all this suffering. It is worth it 100%.

- Anna

[teddi]

I really thought I'd be mentally tougher this time around. Maybe in some ways I am, though now that I AM a mom, I've got that to juggle too. I can remember feeling shell shocked with my first pregnancy, for many reasons (it was not a "planned" thing, and my husband and I were not married at the time, we had a "shotgun wedding" LOL). But I have to confess, something snapped last Friday. I *attempted* to go shopping, you know, do something. And it was a joke. When I had to just sit on a clear portion of a bottom shelf 5 times to catch my breath, and run to the bathroom twice, it started sinking in- I am getting that sick again. And everyday I keep dealing with the thought "I can't go thru that again". It's overwhelming. I just really need to take it ONE day at a time and not worry about the next day, let alone obsess on whether this will end with the first trimester, or go on until the end.

I do have medication for the IBS, however I don't not think it is safe to use during pregnancy. It's Bentyl and I believe it's in the "barbituate" class of drugs, so, I am not willing to risk it. I only use it about every 6 months as it is, when I get those horrible episodes that result in me throwing up. The Bentyl totally stops it, but it's very strong meds. I am totally doped up afterwards.

Teddi

[HdGAMom2B]

Hi, Just wanted to reply to your post, about Bentyl and HG. My husband has Crohn's Disease, so I see him suffer from tose painful episodes every singel day. He's on a coctail of meds, including Bently, and I think your'e right, it isn't recommended in pg. But you have to measure the risks vs. the benefits,a nd make your choice... in the end, just pray that God protects you and your little one. It's not easy, worrying about HG, worrying about baby, and for YOU, worrying abot your gut.

With my hubby, we seem to worry a lot about his gut, whether he'll be able to handle, (stress-wise) a planned pg, knowing we just might get (who am I kidding, we'll probabyl get it) HG. He worries about every thing.

Just thought I"d let you know, you are not alone.

Christy

[Chedasha]

My sister hasnt been able to enjoy this pregnancy the way she wanted. She wanted to just be swan around pregnant like and have a good normal pregnancy. But instead she got HG and is just living for the day shes not pregnant. Its taken away her choice to have any more kids. She is just not mentally or physically strong enough to go through this again. Contrary to what people may say she will never forget it and think a baby is worth HG. It may be worth it once but she cant do it twice and I personally dont think any of us could stand to watch her do it again.

Teddie re the IBS that is from the gallbladder removal. I had mine removed a number of years ago now (unneccesarily at that I might add-grrrr) anyhow I developed IBS from that and I know how IBS affects your life and eating out habits etc etc...

Kat

[MamaLily]

Kat -

Your sister is not alone in thinking that she can only survive HG once. It is such a difficult, difficult thing to endure - physically as well as emotionally. And I can't imagine how hard it must be to watch your loved one go through such illness. You are amazing for your support and for all that you do to help.

I just want to mention that it may take some time for your sister to decide about having another baby. Until she has actually held and mothered her little boy, it is hard to know exactly how she will feel about doing it again. I say this from experience. When I was pregnant with my dd, I thought I could never do it again. And I was serious. As the pregnancy went on and I felt some relief, I thought that maybe I could do it once more, many years down the road. Well, now I am just dying to have another baby. Even if I have HG as bad or worse with another pregnancy, I know it would be worth it. I think I only have one more HG pregnancy in me, so I don't know when it will be. But I want you to know that my daughter was worth all that I suffered - 100%. It may sound crazy, but she really was. And I would voluntarily do it again for her in a minute. Your sister probably won't forget HG, even though people will tell her that she will. And she may not want to do it ever again, even several years from now. But I will be surprised if she won't look back and think that her son was worth it!

Tell her to keep hanging in there! You, too!

- Anna

[Chedasha]

Hye Anna
thanks for your kind words

Oh I know that she will love her son and definately think he was worth having and the whole reason for her suffering. I cant really speak for her but at this moment I would say that she wont have any more, I would pass out in shock if she ever said she was willing to go through it again LOL. I think people who do must have incredible strength. She has actually had Hypermesis before about 10 years ago she got pregnant but it developed into a molar pregnancy so we just put all the symptoms to that and she was incredibly sick then too but with the added bleeding as well.

But yes for sure she is very happy to be having this baby and we know he will be worth all of this!!!


Kat