Feeling sad about giving up bf

[Natalie]

Hi Girls
Ok, the other night I was giving dd (10+ months) her night time feed and she bit me soooooooo hard that I bled! I actually have scabs on my nipple (sorry if tmi ) My mum told me a long time ago that you can teach babies not to bite but I have tried saying 'no' when she has nibbled on me before and she hasn't learned. Now I think I have decided to stop, but I feel really sad about it. These are my reasons:

For:
Can eat hot curries again and stop eating bland food
I only give her a few minutes on each boob once or twice a day
She seems to prefer formula because there is more, she doesn't have to work as hard to get it and she faffs around on my boob unless really thirsty.
I want to lose those last few pg pounds
She bit me so hard and it hurt so badly that now when I put her on, I feel really anxious. I really don't want her to pick up vibes that I am tense while bf her but I can't relax at all because I am psyching myself up for another nip.
I yelled so loud from the pain and than said 'no' that I made her cry. I feel terrible about it. I don't want to do that ever again.

Against:
I feel sad
I wanted to carry on until she was a year
I feel sad
It's better that she gets some boob juice than none at all
I feel sad
It's better for me
I feel sad



Any advice?????

Thanks
Natalie

[carriedodson]

Natalie,

It's ok. If you totally wean her she will still love you. It is hard once you finally do it, but you have done it this long and I commend you. Just do it when the time is right, if you want it to be now, it's ok. She can start whole milk so it won't be so hard on the budget. It will be ok, you are still her mommy!
Carrie

[JennyK]

Natalie,

I don't know if this will help, but here is a link about biting: http://www.kellymom.com/bf/older-baby/biting.html

If you decide to stop BF, try not to feel sad. You've done a wonderful thing for your baby and made it a lot longer than most. Good luck in your decision!

[HGx3]

Natalie,

I know that it will be a sad time for you if you give up nursing. It is such an emotional bond. Trust me, whatever decision you make, it will be supported. I love breastfeeding my babies, but when I was finsihed nursing dd at 18 months, it was such a feeling of freedom!!! I was sad, and missed it. She did too, but I knew when we were finished. You have given your baby your very best, and if it is time to move on, than do so.

I will be anxious this time for Josh, my 3 month old to wean. I want to take xenical so I can get rid of this extra 50lbs, but I cant do it til I get him off the boob...lol

[Laurie]

Just like the other ladies said, you've done a fantastic job of nursing her for so long!

With every weaning, it's very hard and sad. My DS weaned just before he was 3yo and that was a little sad too.

What I wanted to do was send a little encouragement your way. It sounds like you're not really *wanting* to wean. I'd look at that great link Lisa posted for biting ideas. With mine, each time they bit, I'd say a firm "NO BITE" and set them on the floor to play. Usually when they bite, they're done nursing anyway. You can't bite if you're in the right mouth position to nurse. So another idea is look for when she's slowed her nursing down and not nursing so actively. Also, at this age, many babies get distracted easily so a dark quiet room may really help for nursing in.

As to your other pros:
-Curry. Have you tried it lately? Many babies who can't tolerate it as newborns or infants can definitely tolerate it at an older age. I had some spicy stuff while nursing my babies at older ages and my 18 month old loves salsa today. lol
-it's also possible that your yelling when she bit was enough to make her realize she can't ever do that again. Some babies get a reaction like that from mom and never try it again.
-also, try the usual teething remedies...frozen wet washcloth, Hylands Teething Tablets, cold fruit, Baby Orajel (don't use any numbing meds just before nursing though), etc.
-your pg pounds will go away eventually. You've waited 10 months, how much better would you personally feel if you could maintain bf for another 2 months? If you'd feel totally happy with yourself for just sticking it out another couple months, I'd say persevere for yourself. If it wouldn't make that much difference, maybe that's your answer too.

As Lisa said, whatever decision you make will be supported but I just wanted to give you some info that might help you make it a little further. (((hugs)))

[jjbeck]

Hi Natalie. Sorry to hear about your situation.
If you have to stop nursing, would you at least be able to pump so that your baby can at least get the benefits from the breast milk? Even if there is less breast milk than there was...it might be better than none.
Good luck to you

[BlueEeyore]

I, too, had a biter. But you really CAN get them to stop. I was bitten so bad, I got blood poisoning! OUCH!

Each and every time she bit, I removed her from the breast and said firmly, "NO BITING!" Then after a few minutes, I returned her to the breast. I got really good at noticing when she wasn't actively sucking anymore and removed her. Sometimes you'll see a little shift in the lower jaw. That shift is them removing their tongue from the nipple and can allow them to bite you without biting their own tongue! See that shift - and you know it's time to take baby off. I had a pinky finger ready to shove between her teeth if she got that devilish look in her eye. When she was really teething badly, I'd give her something cold to chew on or some tylenol before nursing. (Be careful not to give too much tylenol!) I found that the biting got much better after the first 4 teeth came in.

Oh! And here's my advice in treating bite wounds. Don't let it scab - it will just rip back open each time you nurse. I put neosporin or vaseline in the bite and bandaided it so that it stayed open a bit - that promoted healing from the inside. Once I started doing that, the bites healed MUCH faster.
Neosporin with pain reliever is lovely.

Good luck with whatever you choose.

[Natalie]

Hi Guys

Thanks for all your encouragement, support and handy tips. I don't really want to stop - I think that's why I feel so sorry about it. I think I am a bit slow off the mark - she is actually getting some more teeth through. She has been biting me all over today!!

I put her in a dark room and nursed her yesterday and she was fine. She was good in the night too. She woke up hungry - which she usually doesn't because she takes a lot of formula that sees her through the night.

I've have tried the 'no' thing. She hasn't cottoned on quite yet - hopefully she will understand soon.

I also tried pumping (for the first time in months) and I couldn't get even 15 mls out. I want to increase my supply again. I am trying to nurse more often and drink more but it doesn't seem to be working. Does Fenugreek (?) work for mums who have been nursing for longer or is it only for new mums directly post partum?

Nat.

[Laurie]

I've seen moms use it at all stages of their bf career. I'd definitely try it. Also, be sure you have a good pump. In manuals, the Avent Isis is the best on the market. If you're planning on doing LOTS of pumping, you will want to look into a double electric, the best being Medela Pump In STyle or Ameda Purely Yours. Many hospitals also rent electric pumps on a monthly basis so you can also look into that as well.

I've never been a good pumper but with #2, I found out that hand expressing was getting more milk out for me than a pump would. Might be worth a shot.

Good luck!!

[jjbeck]

RE: pumps. I echo what Laurie said about getting a high quality one. AT one point I had 5 pumps. It really does not pay to buy a cheaper one. It helps to understand how they work too and why a higher quality one works better. I had the ISIS, it worked ok...but it was a lot of work....my hands got crampy from pumping. I tried a couple other electric ones, but none worked better than the medela hospital grades...well actually the medela electric single pump works pretty good, I produce just as much with the single...sometimes more. I still have both. The thing I dont like about the single is that you would not believe how noisy the motor is. The lactina is a lot quieter. Having said all that, I still dont have the supply I need and still working on increasing.

Good luck.

[lawbyrd]

One of my boys was a biter, he would bite just as he was falling asleep, the problem was, he couldn't sleep without nursing. Thinking back, that was about 3 yrs ago, and he is just now mostly weaned. I found that the book "Mothering Your Nursing Toddler" was a lifesaver, helped me through the tough times, especially when it got to the point that I was nursing TWO toddlers (my boys are two years apart).

I'm a work-outside-of-the-home mom, and I recommend the Ameda Purely Yours pump to all of my friends. I had much more success with that pump (a double electric pump) than I did with a Medela electric pump (not hospital grade) and was able to pump enough even when my younger son was in the NICU (both of 'em were preemies) , quickly and comfortably. I had great success with Fenugreek, took a little while, maybe a week or so, but got my supply up enough to pump for both of them when I returned to my workplace. I also would pump one side while feeding with one side when I was home, rotating youngsters, when I was trying to increase my milk supply.

Good luck, I hope you find strategies that work for you.

[Juliette Punchello]

The best way to increase your supply is by nursing...take your baby to bed, skin to skin contact and just let her nurse. Your body knows that it has to produce milk for your new baby and it just takes a little while. Try nursing at least every 2 hours and if you are away from her, pump every 2 hours with a hospital grade double pump. Keep at it...it is a great joy!

[emily]

I weaned DD after a bad biting incident at around 10 months. I was really ready to be done nursing honestly. I was just, ready. And dd seemed ready too. It worked well for us, but honestly, I hope to breastfeed this baby longer. BTW - I GAINED a ton of weight when I weaned! I say, do what you feel is best.