Sterilization

[emily]

Well, I have to say. While I was pg I was thinking that you were all a bit bonkers for having babies and posting about being able to do it again or feeling down about TL's or Vasectomies. And now, here I am, feeling sad about knowing that this is my last baby!!!! Eeek!!! I keep thinking that maybe I COULD do it again, and then quickly thinking, no, I couldn't really. I have missed out so much with dd this past year and I cannot possibly imagine doing it again with two children. But, honestly, I am glad dh has refused to get a vasectomy so far. I think dealing with that emotionally right now would just be too much. So, mostly, I wanted to post this to send my sympathy for the others in this same situation.

I honestly didn't feel bonded with this baby up until he was born, and as soon as he was, I was instantly feeling like, ah, now that is why I went through this again! I had seriously wondered what the hell I was thinking for the past 9 months and had seriously regretted getting pregnant again. And already, I can't imagine if I had not had this little guy! I told my dh that it is pretty easy to say no more right now, but I know that it is going to hurt even more in a few years.

[mandy]

Hi Emily,

I am three years down the line from you. I have a girl and boy in the same order as you too. I am so glad we didn't get a vasectomy straight away. I have been on a big emotional journey since my boy was born. I know I won't have any more babies but I have needed to come to terms with that in my own time (as we planned to have 3/4 children). Any sooner and I'm sure I would have carried regrets and what-ifs. We plan to get the vasectomy in about 18months. My son will then be settled into school full time and I would have embarked on my new life (not as a SAHM). Then I feel will be the time to draw a line and end our baby making days for definate.

So, what I am saying is, I am glad we haven't rushed our decisions. Those first steps, first birthdays, and (deep breath) first days at school are even harder with the final child and play havoc with my emotions and so are not good times to be making life changing decisions, in my opinion.

Big congrats on your son. Enjoy every minute.
Mandy x

[Natalie]

Hi Emily

I think I must have missed something because I thought that you had decided against a vasectomy and that you would get a TL done instead??

Well anyways, I hope that in time, you will find peace with whatever decision you make.

Love Natalie, x

[emily]

No, I had decided against the TL and was going for the vasectomy.

Mandy, I think you are soooo right! I know right now, it is too much to deal with. But, a few years down the road, when I am back into working and my kiddos are older and in school.... I know it will be a much easier decision to make.

[rjdecker]

Emily,

Take your time with this decision. Then you will probably feel a little better when the time comes. I know what you mean by thinking you can't put your family through that again. It isn't easy. I was done at #2 and then got baby lust five years later. I shouldn't have done that because every other year after that I have been pg, boy, you should see how busy it is around here! I am definitely ready to be finished! Just remember, this is your personal decision and when you are ready is up to you.

Jenny

[3kids]

Emily,

I know exactly what you mean. I haven't dared say anything to DH and *if*, a BIG if I came to a final decision it would have to be years down the road, but I too have had those sad "last baby" thoughts. If it weren't for the HG I would have planned on having 3 kids.

But, I'm thinking maybe I really *can* do this again one day . Can I? I dunno. I'm glad we haven't done anything permanently yet. I know I must be nuts and it's probably just hormones speaking so I know I can't make any decisions yet, but maybe.....

It's so confusing. Man, I can't stand the thought of being so sick again, but I look at my kids and...oh man.