I need some support to get me through this

[stephensmam]

Hi everyone,
Im 36 weeks and so miserable i feel no one cares at all and just sees me as a pg woman who is moaning, and when i try and explain im still vomiting 2 a day and have 24 hr nausea its like oh well not long to go now arghhhhhh its an eternity, the bitch sils are talking about me behind my back saying that im just looking for sympathy and im only pg i want to scream and shout so badly and cry which i do im so frustrated nby these stupid people who have no idea how hg affects you, im miserable really and truly miserable i cannot remember how it feels not to be sick and nauseas to eat a meal and not be seeing it again after a few minutes , its getting so hard to even be sick now im so hugh i have to sit on a stol sideways to be sick and i end up gettinmg it every where but the toilet im sorry to be so graphic but im realy very upset , pauls gone away again to olondone so im on my own for 2 days, the girl who was helping me oiut in the afternoons is doing exams for the next 2 weeks so im here on my own wih steohen not even able to get out of bed hardly anything could happent tp him there is nothing i can do i can barly walk now all the musels in my legs have wasted and the cramps are unbelieveable , im exausted but cant sleep , cant sit up for long cant ly down for lonf everything is so uncomfortable, i want this to be over so badly, my ob who started out sympathic has turned into a pig and is fobbing me off about being induced at 39 weeks i cant take much more of this i really cant iv been through enough i just want this over with, im sca\red frustrated and very weepy and extreamly lonly, i feel so weak and useless this pg has taken a hugh amount out of my physcaly last time it was so hard emothinaly but this time i dont know if ill recover and its scaring me , it took me a year and a half to recover after stephens pg and i never got my appitite back at all , why did i do this do i really wnat another child how the hell am i going to cope im so weak and i have no one to help me , paul puts work first iv no family to help me out so when i come home from the hosp it will jsut be me stephen and the baby i only hope she is a good sleeper so i can get some rest,

im sorry this post is so negitive but i feel so badly iv been threough so much and no one cares

[Chedasha]

Gosh you really ha ave been through the ringer. I think after 36 weeks of HG full on of course your mind is going to start to turn on you. All the thoughts you have are caused by the HG. I know everyday is an eterntity in the land of HG but you are on the very end home stretch. If you still feel ill once you have the baby you must seek help. You have to ignore those SIL comments they are ignorant and have NO clue what the hell they are talking about. Dont try and pre talk yourself into feeling bad after this pregnancy and about the child just take each day after as it comes.

I am hoping for all the best for you! Maybe send SIL link to this site so they can learn.. or just tell them you dont have just morning sickness like they did you have something akin to what a cancer sufferer suffers from.

Hang in there and know the people here will always support you!

Kat

[nomore]

Jaqueline,

Ive been thinking about you a lot. Reading your post brought me rought back to being 36 weeks pregnant and feeling just like that. When I would say I was asking for an induction, they would say, its only a couple of more weeks. And I would say, yeah its X amount of days I get to vomit 3 to 4 times a day... wouldnt you be looking forward to that too?

No one but the ladies at Hugs understood. The good news is that is really is getting much closer to the end. I know it doesnt feel that way, but it really is. Look how far you have come. While you may not have faith in youeself right now, you are an AMAZINGLY strong person, and you can do this. 36 weeks is the cusp of being considered full term. My apolgies, as I havent had a chance to catch up with some past posts, due to vacation and surgery, but have you discussed induction? At 36 weeks I started walking a lot on the treadmill for 10 minute clips (or as long as I could without falling over from exaustion.. sometimes it was only 5), in hopes of speeding things up. I also sipped red rasperry tea and even tried nipple stimualtion to help regualte the contractions. My Drs wouldnt induce me, as they called it elective, until I was 39 weeks, but I ended up developeding pre-e and was induced anyways, after 2 false labor alarms.

Stephan is going to be a big brother soon. You will have a beautiful Sarah, and life will be better.

Big HuGS,

Robin

[Cheri]

Hi Jacqueline,
I know it is probably not much consolation at this point...but I am betting your dear sils are going to get their own some day . Someday when hg is all over for you & life is smoother & you can sit back and say "I can't imagine how you can be having _____ problem!!! I think it must all be in your head because I never went through that!! Quit your moaning!!"

I'm sorry it is going badly & you are facing this all on your own. You have been very strong through all of this in spite of what sils say...that don't have a clue what you've been through!!

I never had to face half of what you've been through, but I do remember the joy of throwing up in the 3rd trimester when I was pg with Megan...too many bodily functions take place at one time when you throw up so far into pg I would be puking & peeing myself & needing to have a bm & having contractions all at the same time...hard to know what to do first

I am praying for you that your dear baby girl will grow healthy & strong quickly, that the remaining days will pass quickly & you will be holding your little girl soon & feeling better!!!

Hugs,

[mammaclare]

Well the REAL good news is that although you wonder why you ever did this again, even though you wanted a second child, you can't take it back!

I know it isn't much consolation but you are too far now to change your mind or chicken out of HG, SPD, depression and misery...too late, sweetheart, you are stuck...stuck with a gorgeous little Irish lass that will make her debut soon.

Not that soon is soon enough, but you have already come so far and have so much to be proud of. You have every right to feel sad, and lonely, and miserable, so go ahead and feel it. Please try not to worry about how you will feel after she is born and what your recovery will be like. You can't predict that now, any more than we can ever predict the nature of each of our HG pregnancies. For all you know, you will bounce back quicker. Or not. Either way, it can't help worrying now.

Today, just get through hour to hour. Minute to minute if need be. Sleep as much as you can because at least then you are away from the pain and nausea for a while.

I can't say that it will go fast or that you are almost there, because I am sure you feel that one more day is too many for you. But we are here every last step of this PG...AND every last step of your recovery and your joy at your new baby!

Love, hugs, kisses and prayers for an early labor--

[stephensmam]

every last one of you are angels thank you so much , i though i was really going to lose it yesterday i had an appt with my ob who all along said he would induce at 39 weeks well guess what hes not , his attitude was why would we induce you your fine weight bp ect i just burst into tears he ignored me i begged hm to refer me to a pediatrition at 38 weeks for him to assess the baby to see if i was ok for induction he said no way 38 weeks is too early, and that he could just put on the chart reason for induction she was fed up, oh my God i nearly lost it with him and said i was so far beyond fed up he had no idea i was distraught and slipping into a major depression, i felt he was treating me like a normal pg woman who is a bit uncomfortable and fed up towards the end that really pised me off and upset me even more , then he started making jokes saying i could go ovr 40 weeks i lost it with him and told him that there was no way i was going one minute over 40 weeks and i was being induced no matter what i think he was pissed at me but i dont care he upset me so much yesterday .

im having lots of very strong braxton hick contractions in the last few days so hopefully i wont have to beg him again ad ill just go early myself but im so very scared after doing me very best through these long hard months to stay positive but i feel myself slipping into pnd it was awful on stephen i couldnt enjoy any of his first few months i was so hoping that this time would be different but when my ob speaks to me like that and upsets me so much i feel so depressed and i just wish he would understand that the days are dragging in now im compleatly imobile and so sick , im getting angry at my friend who is painting her babys room and is 36 weeks pg to there is not a bother on her at all and it just pisses me of that my ob can see no difference between her and me.

im not looking for sympathy but some compassion iv been through a lot and i want it acknowledged by him. am i asking the impossible,


thank you all again for being there for me it means so very much and i love you all xxx
Jacqueline x

[aaronsmommy]

I still think you will be done by 39 weeks.
You will either go in to labor by yourself, or you will get sick again and your doctor will see the need for inducing you. And if that doesn't happen, what you can do is start calling his office a couple of times a day and cry and moan to his office staff, until they get sick of you and they go to him begging to induce you and get you out of their hair. Yeah, it won't get you sympathy, but what you want even better than that if to be done with this, so whatever works right?
Ask whether you can do an amniocentesis to make sure the baby's lungs are mature, to do an induction earlier. Even if he won't do that, it lets him know you are serious and sets the stage for him giving in.
Cry as much as possible when you are in the office. Act like a crazy woman - how could you not be at this point?

[Manchelle]

I didn't read all these before asking my question about the doctor. I see I'm not the only one. I know it sounds horrible, but the OB's really only care about the health of the baby. And while the baby IS what this is all about, how can you possibly have a healthy baby when the mommy is so miserable?
My doc literally kept saying, oh the baby won't starve, the baby is growing good, the baby is healthy.
I finally said.... "I don't mean to be insensitive, because I'm thrilled that my baby is healthy, but I AM NOT healthy or happy!" He really didn't care. That's why next time around I WILL find a doctor who will treat ME as well as my baby. How can they be so heartless? My step-mom says it's because he's a man. I guess, but I don't think I'd get much more sympathy from a woman doc. B/C most other women think I'm making it all up... it's all in my head.
I'm really sorry your doc is a jerk as well. I'm with you that I just keep hoping she'll come early. I didn't even have the nerve to ask him about induction because of his attitude. I figured he'd just laugh at me.
I know that dehydration will cause b/h contractions, and I even pondered just not even TRYING to eat or drink anymore and force her out of me. And then I realized how awful that was. But... seriously.... when us women have such thoughts... don't you think these are serious enough to warrant some help from our docs? You said you were deeply depressed.... that CAN'T be good for the baby. I know a lot of the thoughts I've had aren't good.
I keep trying to change my focus from being pregnant/sick/miserable to something... anything else, but it's just not working. It's all I can focus on. ( Good luck to you in the next few weeks!

[Mar2]

((Hugs)) Jacqueline -- I got your email at work but can't respond because of a weird Outlook problem. So I'm posting here.

Your SILs stink! Your OB stinks! Heck, your dh stinks for leaving you to go to London!! I don't blame you one bit for getting upset with the whole lot of them.

And it really seems unconscionable that your OB, knowing full well what you have endured, would set your expectations for induction at 39 weeks and then pull the rug out from under you! That is terrible. When you are pg and suffering with HG, that delivery date is your only ray of hope. My OB told me she had to induce at 38 weeks for a non-hg issue. So I had my entire life and heart wrapped around June 16. Then when we got closer to the date, she said she didn't do inductions at my hospital on Mondays, so I'd have to wait 3 days!! I could have strangled her and that was only going to be a 3 day delay! I'd be soooo upset in your situation. Well, Maranda decided to come 5 weeks early, so it was a moot discussion. But still...there is so much heartache involved with that kind of let down.

I'm sorry. Hopefully Sarah is ready sooner and will make your OB's decision moot too.

Complain as much as you want if it helps. (((More Hugs)))
Take care,

[stephensmam]

thank you all again, iv to go and see the ob again on the 30th august and i am determined not to leave his office till he gives me an induction date for the following week , i think its just this weeek thats depressing me i should be ok next week cause i have someone to come and help me on wednesday and thursday with stephen, its just this week i feel so very alone, the following week stephen is starting back to school so im hoping to be induced then , its just everything coming together its paul being difficult and saying he cant take any time off work other than the day i have the baby im worrying myself about how im going to manage with stephen ect , i think im just feeling very hormonal and what lots of reassurance from paul but hes never here to give it, and im sure hes fed up wih me crying all the time im fed up myself but i cnat help it,

thanks again everyone

[Natalie]

Hi J.
Have just seen you're online. How are you feeling today?
Natalie

[acorn]

i felt exacrly as you did at 36 weeks! then, on 7-10-04 had my dd and every ounce of hell i went through was more then worth it! i never could have known the love...

you can and will get through this. you are strong and courageous!

i will be counting the days with you and sending love and support to you.

i promise--it is almost over. you are at the 25th mile of the 26 mile marathon,and you'll get a gold prize at the end of this long and painful run.

amy

[stephensmam]

thank you both very much, im so very sick i think my uti is back , i cant keep anything down again and i feel like i want to die, im so very uncomfortable and cant sit or lye down for long the ob dosent seem to care at all, im going to my gp tody for her t check my urine for infection, iv also started suffering from hedaches i know thats from dehydration but i just cant keep up drinking im so weak, i cant see myself making it for the next 3 weeks or 2 and a half if he induces me , i wish this baby would come now, all i do all day is cry with depression and the pains in my legs im so worn out and drained the ob dosent understand he just thinks im fed up being pg to be honest i do for get about the baby sometimes and jsut feel so sick its that i want over, zofran is not working nothing is i know my gp will send me into the hosp again today and after the last time my ob was very annoyed that she did i dont think i want to go in yet again before this baby is due and come home on my own its soul destroying , i know in the real world 3 weeks isnt long but in hg its endless i feel iv suffered enough but my ob dosent seen to be bothered

[Traci in Japan]

Oh Jacqueline, please go to the doctor and get some hydration. If they admit you then you can call in help for Stephen and even if it is given grudgingly by DH (or whoever) at least you will be getting the fluids you need and hopefully a little time to rest.

It will be hard having to come home again before the baby arrives but you NEED to be hydrated. No one can think straight when living on air alone. I is pretty hard to be happy when you are sick, so either at home or in the hospital may be miserable, but the fluids are important.

I don't know what else to say. Please take care and I will keep you in my thoughts.

[aaronsmommy]

Just go in!
I can't imagine how frustrating it must be to be going through all of this now, but I'm sure that the more you go in, the earlier they will decide to deliver you.
Even for me, my ob had always talked about delivering me several weeks early in the beginning, but then I spent a couple months at home with no new problems and he was talking about waiting. Once I got admitted again, we started talking again.
If you go back to the hospital, ask to get an amnio so you can be induced before you go home. They may not do it, but it can't hurt to try.
If your ob finds your problems annoying, you have to make him miserable and bother him as much as possible, so he realizes the only way to stop this is to get that baby out!

[Cheri]

Jacqueline,
I'm so frustrated for you & wish things would improve. I'm really stretching for ideas here (feel free to ignore me ) I know the homeopath didn't make any difference for the hg...but do you think there is any chance they might be able to help you with some of the other issues you're dealing with right now?

Wishing you healthy, happy, uti & hg free days in the very near future!

Hugs,

[Chedasha]

You know it does piss me off that noone cares how the mothers feel. I mean we all know its best to have a perfect pregnancy and get to 40 weeks etc etc. But if the babies in distress or theres some recognised medical condition they will induce or take action. But gee have something like Hyperemesis where the mother is literally on the edge if not declined into mental madness and physical illness so bad they can barely function and the Dr doesnt give a flying rats arse. It just goes to show they really dont get it at all.


Kat

[stephensmam]

thanks traci and aimee,
I did go in on friday and came out on sunday, i feel a bit better, but my ob still wont induce as he says the babys is fine, and iv just to hang on in there, iv told him how depressed i feel and all hes done is refer me to a physiciarist (sp) i had a lot of pain s yesterday and i was excited but they are gone again now please pray to whoever that i have this baby early and i dont have 3 more weeks , im not even thinking about past 40 weeks .

thanks again for your support i feel like im a moaning horrible person to be around right now and i dont like it im not this person im normaly nice and kind and sweet i want that person back.

love you all

[PamelaRose]

Hugs to you, Sweetie! I know you're hurting now, and I hope, hope, hope that your little girl makes her grand entrance soon so you can all begin to return to happy. You're in my thoughts and prayers; do you need anything? I'll e-mail you.

[stephensmam]

thanks pamela im surviving just, your very sweet, i just need this baby to come now