New here - miserable mommy-to-be

[Manchelle]

Hello everyone. I'm new to this site. I'm 35 weeks pregnant. I was diagnosed with HG in my first trimester (lost 7 pounds in the 1st tri-m). Since then I've only gained a total of 11 pounds over my pre-preg. weight. I don't know if I am still considered to have HG, b/c I have actually gained weight, but I know every single ounce is baby or fluids or such.
I'm not sick every single day, but most days I am. I keep down probably about 1/2 of what I eat. I was prescribed Zofran, and it works a little. I was also prescribed Phenergan suppositories, but I couldn't keep them in (b/c of severe constipation). I've finally got the constipation cleared up with some Lactulose. I still sometimes vomit even water. It's not a pleasant subject, so I don't really talk about it with anyone. My husband is very understanding and sympathetic, but there's really nothing he can do but offer his help (poor thing... every time I go to throw up, he offers his help... but I don't want him seeing me like that. He reminds me that he's going to see me a lot worse pretty soon!)
I got so miserable at times that I just wished I could get "this thing" out of me. And I still feel that way at times. I began to resent her, but am over that now. Now I just want her out. I want her OUT here so I can eat and sleep again. No one really understands what it's like to not be able to eat normally for eight months. It is a core pleasure of life, and it makes you absolutely miserable when you can't.
I wish my doc would just induce me early, but I'm sure that's not an option.
I cry almost every night because I'm so ready for this to be over with. And I'm so sad because I feel so bad.
Thanks for listening. I'm glad I found somewhere where I'm not alone in being so miserable by being pregnant. Everyone said what a joyous time in my life this would be. I've never been so unhappy and so uncomfortable, and I feel so bad for not being able to enjoy it. I just want my precious baby in my arms... not in my belly!

[dwtegli]

Welcome Manchelle,

Glad you found this site. Most of us have been where you are right now. I am on my third pregnancy and only 30 weeks pregnant and I also just want him out. I have been feeling pretty good since about 20 weeks, but I still wish it was all over. Even feeling pretty good I still have crappy days where I just can't seem to muster the energy to do anything. It amazes me how I could resent my kids so much when they were inside of me and yet love them so awfully much once they are out. Unfortunately, for all of us on this site, this time that is supposed to be so wonderful is just awful!!

Welcome and hugs,

[mammaclare]

I wish I could say that 5 weeks will breeze by, but with HG nothing feels fast or easy. However, you WILL be able to eat and enjoy food once your baby is here. Also, many, if not all, of us here understand the feelings of resentment towards the baby, wanting it out, etc--and also the guilt that goes hand in hand with those feelings. Not that it makes it easier for you, but know you aren't alone.

The day that baby is born will be so much sweeter for you than others you may know because you have worked so hard for her!

When it is all over, please keep coming back--we really learn from each other here.

[HGx3]

Hi and welcome. I wish you had found us sooner so we could have offered support and other medication options.
The bottom line is, when you have hg, pregnancy is pure HELL and one of the most miserable experiences of your life.
The good news is, it WILL end, though time will drag between now and the time you deliver. Everything you said in your post is exactly how every hger has felt at some point, so know that you ARE NOT ALONE!!!!!!
It sucks and is just terrible. You will make it. And for most of us, labor is a breeze after going thru such a rough illness. Be prepared to eat when you deliver, you will be starving...mark my words!!!!!!!!

Hang in there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Manchelle]

Thanks for your replies. It really does help to know I'm not the only one. I've never been around that many pregnant women, and I was so upset for a long time that NO ONE told me it would be this way! But it took me a while to figure out it's not this way for most people. Everyone kept telling me I'd get that "glow". Well.... it's odd that no one has really commented on me having a "glow". Except one time after I had been up all night throwing up.... must have been a different kind of glow. ) You're all so right. Time just drags. And I have to work full time, and it's absolutely miserable. Every day I just want to stay at home where I can be sick and miserable without having to try to look happy and professional. I work in an office with 8 men.... so you can imagine that they have no clue what I'm really going through. I just pray every day now that she comes early rather than late.
I've had another problem that I've described to several people, and no one seems to know what I'm talking about. It used to be worse, but it's coming back lately. I actually throw up in my sleep, and wake up choking. I told my doc, and they just blamed it on eating too much. HA! I don't know what eating too much is anymore. Has anyone else experienced this?! It's awful.
Thanks again. It's 2 am, and I'm up b/c I can sleep because of that problem tonight. (

[yellowm3]

Hi Manchelle!

I too threw up in my sleep though I think it was more acid refulx than actually throwing up. Are you taking any acid reducers? If not then I'd highly suggest talking with your doctor about adding one to your regimen.

I know everyday feels like a week and every week feels like a month to you right now because I was there just a month ago. Today my little Madeline is a month old and I promise it gets better after "that thing" is out! I'm making up for not eating like most pregnant women do now...shoot, since I'm breastfeeding I figure it's a good excuse to get whatever I crave since I didn't have any of that while I was preggo.

Anyway, I wound up going into labor (hard labor, finally after a false alarm just 5 days earlier) exactly 2wks before my due date. So, instead of fixing your eyes on your due date I'd suggest thinking like "this could be any day now" so it doesn't seem so distant.

Again, it DOES get better and you will have an appetite again!

[Manchelle]

Yes, I think it may be related to acid reflux, but if I've put any food in my stomach in the past... ? 8 - 10 hours sometimes, it comes back up. My sister in law is preg. and her doc recommended zantac for her. I didn't ask my doc, but I took it upon myself to try some, and it has helped a little.
Ahhh... thinking of it as "any day now" makes it so much more bearable! I feel the impending labor, and I have hope that she's going to come early!
Everyone keeps commenting on how "good" I look b/c I haven't gained much weight. I just smile and say thank you, but I KNOW that once she's here with me, I'm going to blow up like a balloon, b/c I will NOT be holding back on eating!
Congrats on your new baby! Thanks for the words of comfort, and I keep my fingers crossed every day that the day will come soon!