by Ivydragon » Aug 15, 2004 6:03 pm
Hi J,
So, how'd I miss the fact that you're having a girl and naming her Sarah?!? I just remember you hoping it was a girl, and you're getting a girl! How exciting!
On the whole parenting and Paul front, Stephen is still alive, and Paul is still coming home, so things could be worse. . . I know, you feel so miserable it's hard to imagine it so, but it could be. I can hardly believe you've had repeat UTI's! How awful. Maybe not connecting all of this pain w/ a baby right now will be a good thing. She'll be a gift from God that you will not connect with your illness that will stop when she is placed in your arms.
You are an amazing woman, sacrificing so very much to bring this child into the world. I know every day will be an eternity, and even to me October seems a long ways away with so many things to get through before then. Tears come easily to my eyes when I reallize just now how long you and I have known each other through forums. How long you have yearned for another child, how long you ttc, how long you were unsure to then finally conceive and suffer so much. You've had such a long hard road, and now all you have to do is survive. You will forever know exactly how much it takes to endure to the end, and you will know that you can make it. You signed up at HuGS Feb-25-2002. You said you would be induced at 39 wks, so instead of counting pg days to accomplish your goal, lets say we're counting from the time you signed in at HuGS, (it's a date I could find, lol). So, since I've known you to be pursuing having another child, 536 days have past, and you have about 43 to go. That's why I can say you've come a long way, and even if your hopes and your dreams and your strongest desires for doing this have been swallowed up in your misery, I'm here to tell you I remember how much you wanted this, and I know that you will be a fantastic Mum, and love this little Sarah more than you can even imagine right now.
All my love, and if I could be I'd be there for her birth. It'll mean that nearly everyone at HuGs I've ever helped were able to endure their HG and have the baby they've dreamed of. . .
Andy
Mom to Aaron 14 (HG), Anna 11 (HG), Adam 8 (adopted), Andrew 8 (adopted), fostering a newborn . . .