out again

[stephensmam]

Hi everyone im home again, on yet more antibiotics and very tired and fed up now,cant wait till this is over

[Cheri]

Hi Jacqueline,
I'm sorry, I'm just seeing that you were in hosp again. How are you doing now? Do they have any other options for helping the uti? I had a uti last month & I know it made everything seem worse...I can't imagine how miserable one that won't go away must be.

Hugs!! I wish I knew the answer for zapping away those nasty little bacteria (& hg too )

[mammaclare]

Jacqueline-

How are you feeling? I am so worried for you--I know you are so sad and worn out and frustrated and anxious for this all to be over. It hits home because my own due date was Sept 5th last year--and at this time, I felt there was no way I would ever be done.

I hope that the UTIs are over with and you can relax some and have a new little princess just as soon as possible!

[stephensmam]

Hi cheri and clare , Im afraid after another course of antibiotics the uti is back yet again and has brought a friend this time thrush, so im back vomiting 3 to 4 times a day and feeling nauseas and the acid indegestion is all day and nigh now, all i seem to be doing is crying sleeping during the day and up all night i cant walk more than a few steps now with the pain in my legs and groin i cant wait for this to be all over i cnat remember what its like to wake up in the morning and not feel sick im ready to be done yet im only 34 and a half weeks along, these last weeks are really dragging in , i cant see and end to it at all im feeling preety low at the moment and very unsupported by everyone around me (im not talking about you all) my sils are completer bitches never ask me how i am ect so we have stopped making an effort to get over to see them so in return they havent rang at all , paul is working long hours as usual and im feeling very lonly he dosent know what to do with me as soon as he comes in im either in bed or i just burst into tears i feel so guilty about stephen its his summer holidays and we havent done anything at all, i sleep all day and he is on his own for hours ,i dont have the energy to make dinner and so he is living on whatever he can get out of the frige, im scared that if i cant cope now how am i going to cope with two, iv the labour to get through first then its going to take me a while to heal i have no one to help me at all i know its my own fault and i should stop moaning but it really does scare me, i didnt bond with stephen straight away it took a good few weeks if not months what if that happns again and i resent this child and i end up getting pnd again ,
im sorrry to maon so much but i feel so miserable.

[Mar2]

J - ((((HUGS)))) I am sorry it is so hard on you right now. All you needed was another infection, right? But even though it doesn't seem like it now, I just know you will be able to cope with your two blessings once HG is over. You had the strength to face HG twice, ppd once, to put up with your difficult in-laws, and to struggle with TTC for a year, so I know you will have the post-hg strength to handle the kids. Maybe Paul has to step up a bit while you are recovering from the birth and HG. But you will feel good again and will be so thrilled to have your beautiful son and daughter and to be HG-free for the rest of your life.

I wish I could stop by to support you and to help with Stephen, but I know he will be just fine anyway. Think of how good it must feel for him to be independent enough to get his own food and to entertain himself. Those are great skills to pass on to your son. Not to mention you are working on giving him a sibling!

I wish you could get some relief now, but experience says that isn't likely. But it will be over in less than 2 months, which must seem like forever to you. And then, if the ppd or bonding issues hit, we will still be here to support you. It helped me to tackle just one milestone at a time...otherwise, I felt too overwhelmed. Maybe you will be so excited to be done with HG that the ppd won't strike...(several woman I know were able to escape PPD the second time around so there is hope).

Well, hold on and take care...it is almost over (easy for me to say),

PS Remember the Purging Islands where we send all nasty people who don't understand HG? Let's send your SILs a one-way ticket

[Kschwintz]

J-

I'm thinking of you. You've done such an amazing job so far. Six weeks is forever when you are pregnant, so I won't tell you it's only a short time. Take care and I'm thinking of you.
Big hugs!!

[stephensmam]

thank you marla and kim, i actualy only have 4 and a half weeks to go as im being induced at 39 weeks but it does feel such a long time to wait, i want so much to be a great mother to this little one without taking away from stephen yet all im finding my self doing at the moment is saying to him no i cant get up and see what you have done in your room and no i cant get you dinner ect i feel awful about that , most of the time i dont even feel pg just sick and in pain and its so hard to believ im gettinga baby from all this i know it will be worth it when she is here but at the moment im really tired of feeling this way , im envious of my friend who is due the same time as me and has pe and is probaly gong to be induced next week , this time around its so much harder physicaly than last time last time it was JUST hg nothing else no swo;en ankels bp ect this time iv hg and spd and low bp and swollen ankels and recurent uti infections and pains and aches that go along with a normal pg so i really dont think i wll be doing this again as much as iv always wanted 3 children i think im done now, i recieved a bil from the insurnce company about my 7 weeks stay in hosp they paid out 13, 042 euros and iv been in hosp 3 times since then which hasent been billed yet then all the money iv had to pay out for stephen to be looked after its cost us a fortune so we wont be able to afford another child for years , i dont know why im even thinking about this now , i have to get this over with first oh i hope i go early, thanks for your support

[Mar2]

J - You have had it so rough with all the extra complications. I am glad it is only 4.5 weeks now...even though that is still an eternity when you are suffering so much. I hope I didn't sound callous in my earlier post when I mentioned "only 2 months to go." My posts are so long winded that I try to edit out extra phrases before posting. I guess I edited out one too many caveats and it came across very unfeeling.

I can't wait to "meet" your daughter (Sarah, right?) Hope you plan to post some pictures!

Hugs,

[stephensmam]

hi marla of course you didnt sound calous, its lovely to be speaking to you again , how is maranda im sure she is just wonderful yes my little girlls name will be sarah im absouloutly hugh this time around which is making it even harder for me to walk ect so i really am ready to be done i cant wait to feel normal again thanks so much for your support

[Cheri]

Jacqueline,
I am so sorry that things continue on so bad!! Your sils really do deserve a trip to the purging islands!!! I bet you are better off not hearing from them and getting their type of "support".

I think you are an amazing woman! I feel like such a wimp in comparison to all you have dealt with!! You have faced so much during this pg & have made it soo far. I know the end seems very far away. I wish I could push a fast forward button for you! (Or wave a magic wand and make it go away like I asked my dh to do )

Does Stephan start back to school again soon? It's hard to not be there to do everything for them, but I bet he will survive one boring summer and never remember it. (I'm hoping my girls do too!) And Marla is right, think about all the new skills & independence he is gaining by helping to care for himself.

Come here & moan whenever you need to. Listening is the least that we can all do!! I wish I could fly over to visit & help you out for a couple weeks!!

((Hugs))

[stephensmam]

thanks cheri and i think you are great ill never have the courage to do this again two is my limit i know this one for you was a surprise but still you have done this 3 times already, thanks so much for your support dh is getting fed up with me maoning and crying all the time and his temper is short so im feeling a bit lonly at the moment , dh is a workaholic and im so scared he wont make it hoem for the brth he works 2hours away 3 days a week and 4 hours away 2 days a week, and never gets home before 11pm and is gone from 530 6 am so im very lonly at the moment i do have a student every afernoon for a few hours to look after stephen and play with him but i usualy take that time to go to bed so i have very little adult company and conversation its getting to me a bit , so this is really my only outlet so thank you again for putting up with me moaning and giving out.

[Traci in Japan]

Hi Jacqueline

Just wanted to let you know that Iam thinking about you.

I understand feeling lonely. This is the land of the workaholic so weekends and public holidays mean nothing. Every day is another one with me at home with the boys. Of course, I'm not sick now. So you are doing a great job coping on your own at this time.

Really looking forward to hearing about your little girl arriving.

[stephensmam]

thanks traci,

Its great to know you are thinking about me, its a special feeling , i think im just very hormonal at the moment im crying over anything , i sometimes still cant believe im pg i just feel sick its become a way of life now and i cant remember what its like to feel normal,

i cant see an end to this at all

[Ivydragon]

Hi J,

So, how'd I miss the fact that you're having a girl and naming her Sarah?!? I just remember you hoping it was a girl, and you're getting a girl! How exciting!

On the whole parenting and Paul front, Stephen is still alive, and Paul is still coming home, so things could be worse. . . I know, you feel so miserable it's hard to imagine it so, but it could be. I can hardly believe you've had repeat UTI's! How awful. Maybe not connecting all of this pain w/ a baby right now will be a good thing. She'll be a gift from God that you will not connect with your illness that will stop when she is placed in your arms.

You are an amazing woman, sacrificing so very much to bring this child into the world. I know every day will be an eternity, and even to me October seems a long ways away with so many things to get through before then. Tears come easily to my eyes when I reallize just now how long you and I have known each other through forums. How long you have yearned for another child, how long you ttc, how long you were unsure to then finally conceive and suffer so much. You've had such a long hard road, and now all you have to do is survive. You will forever know exactly how much it takes to endure to the end, and you will know that you can make it. You signed up at HuGS Feb-25-2002. You said you would be induced at 39 wks, so instead of counting pg days to accomplish your goal, lets say we're counting from the time you signed in at HuGS, (it's a date I could find, lol). So, since I've known you to be pursuing having another child, 536 days have past, and you have about 43 to go. That's why I can say you've come a long way, and even if your hopes and your dreams and your strongest desires for doing this have been swallowed up in your misery, I'm here to tell you I remember how much you wanted this, and I know that you will be a fantastic Mum, and love this little Sarah more than you can even imagine right now.

All my love, and if I could be I'd be there for her birth. It'll mean that nearly everyone at HuGs I've ever helped were able to endure their HG and have the baby they've dreamed of. . .

Andy

[stephensmam]

Hi andy its so grate to here from you i have missed you so much im due on september 11th actually and if im induced a week early its likly to be aroung 4th september so about 3 weeks left its still felels such a long way away iv posted a long post about how im feeling now so i wont go into it here but i have really missed you and your words of comfort andy,

[Chedasha]

I think your an absolute legend to of made it through with HG!!!
Hopefully once this last long home stage finishes you will be rewarded with your health again and a gorgeous baby girl!


take care
Kat

[stephensmam]

thank you kat thats very nice of you to post , your sister is lucky to have you

[Ivydragon]

I've missed you, too. I thought you were due in Sept. . . wonder where I got October stuck in my head . . .

You wouldn't believe the summer I've had. It makes me wonder where I've been all summer, and yet I've had almost no time for anything. It's been crazy since we moved in. I am so hoping that this fall things will settle down.

Huge hugs, Andy