what do you all do about work?

[mostafit]

HI folks,

I am new to this forum, in my 12th week of my first preg, and like everyone else, miserable. Zofran has helped a bit, but seems to be losing its efficacy.

One topic I haven't seen much posted on is work. I am really struggling with this. I have been going in only a few hours per day, if at all, for the past 4 weeks. At first my co-workers were understanding and supportive, but I think they are getting sick of it -- and understandably. I am clearly not performing like I should be, and sometimes ppl have to cover for me. Of course no one has had HG or anything close, and so I think they think I might be milking this a little "oh, she is probably a little nauseous...etc". I don't want to be overly negative with them, but at the same time I want them to know how much of a struggle this is. I wonder how other folks have handled work, and whether ppl have been able to continue working, even part time. Any thoughts?

mostafit

[emily]

I think that is a great question. I am always in awe when somenoe mentions continuing to work. I hope to be starting my first "real" job in the next couple weeks and now the idea of having to leave it to have another baby is really stressing me out. I was a full time student and had to take leave with my first because I was too sick, often hospitalized, during my winter quarter. I am 27 and craving starting my work career. But I also want another baby... unfortunately, my DD is turing 3. I guess there is just getting to be too many years between children for me. It isn't that a job is more important than a baby, it is more about me. The job is for me because I enjoy getting out of my house every day.

Sigh, I just don't know what to do either. Anyhow, sorry I don't have any ideas for you but I do UNDERSTAND how you feel.

[Natalie]

Hi
Well, I was working in a hospital when I got pg. The smell on the wards - UGH!!! I just couldn't work because I was soooo nauseaous, dry heaving and throwing up all the time. Also, the trip to and from work was just horrendous because I was literally stuffed on a tube train like a sardine in a tin. I used to jam my head up against the window and held a little bowl in my hand just in case. Anyway, in the end, my GP signed me off for a few months until the sickness died down. He didn't sign me off all at one time but for 2 weeks at a time, then a month at a time etc... He was so great, he really took the pressure off me. I did go back to my workplace for an midwife appt. and when my colleagues saw me they finally cottoned on how ill I'd been. They couldn't get over how much weight I'd lost and I was about 135lbs when I got pg. A couple of them said it had put them off pregnancy for life!
Natalie

[mandy]

Hiya,

I was signed off work too for a few weeks and then felt huge pressure to go back (boss on my back, wage cut etc). The morning I returned to work all my collegues were shocked. I was gaunt, very pale, had bad skin, no make-up ............. I was a different person from the person they knew. They thought I was mad to be there, infact it wasn't safe for me to be there and were very supportive. My advice is don't pretend or minimalize how bad things are. Don't put a make up mask on, don't put colour on pale cheeks, don't laugh when all you want to do is cry. I never moaned about hg all day to them but I wasn't my cheery self at all. I'm so sorry if your collegues can't see the changes in you and aren't as supportive as they could be. The truth is they'll never understand. Just look out for you and your baby. Only do what you're able, no more. This will pass and you'll be glad you looked after yourself at such a vunerable time in your life.

Big hugs, Mandy x

[PamelaRose]

So many HGers struggle with this topic. The majority of women cannot manage working during HG, and they either end up leaving their jobs permanently or work out some sort of leave. I was on disability medical leave for the worst of it, @ 2-3 months. I was lucky to have understanding bosses, though I admit that they probably figured I was being dramatic about morning sickness. too. The real problems start when your employer will not offer leave or will not extend it, and then you're stuck between a job you need and the illness you can't control. Your best bet is to get your doctor to OK disability leave, but even that won't sway some employers. We have an Insurance and Employment forum here that will give you some more insight into how others have dealt with the situation. Good luck!

[BlueEeyore]

I have to work. I don't have short term disability and I can't afford not to work. The crappy thing is that I teach. I can't take a break here and there, because I'm responsible for the safety of 25 kids. I worked through HG last time, too - although I honestly don't know how. My coworkers were VERY unsupportive and even created problems for me with the adminstration. It's VERY frustrating. My doc would write me a note for disability in a heartbeat. He has no idea how I'm going to work. If I could afford to, I'd take unpaid disability leave.

[nomore]

Its an interesing question you pose! I first went out on short tem disablity when I was about 8 weeks alonng- for 24 hour home IV hydration (which obvoisuly didnt allow me to work). What was in my favor, is that my SIL also worked at the same small company as I and she was at least able to explain that I was really sick. It was around 15 weeks I went into work to drop some HR stuff off for long term disabiloty and some of my co-workers saw me. I knew I looked awful. For weeks I looked so malnourished, an extemly pasty pale color... sometimes almost green! Before pregnancy, I was one of those people who was dressed nicely all of the time & always looked pretty pulled together, so needless to say, looking as I did, most of my co-workers were shocked and I think thats when they finally realized I wasnt "faking".

Needless to say, my FMLA time ran out around the time I was 22 weeks along, and I was SO weak, I was in NO shape to go back full time to a 50+ hour a week, somewhat stressfull job. My Dr confirmed this and I asked if I could work part time. I was told if I did, I would loose my Long term diablity should I need it again. We were NOT in the position to do that, and I was not sure I was even able to handle a part time job, so I went on Long Term disabilty until 6 weeks post partum. I lost my job. This was a HUGE emitional issue for me, I spent days crying, and in turn my HG spent a couple more weeks of being worse.

I was offered an opening again about 9 weeks post partum and declined. I was still too angry at my work, and not willing to leave my baby. They again offerned me a part time positiion 11 months post partum & I declined again, as the schdeule didnt work for us with childcare costs. I now work part time, in an ER (totally different field), and I made the descion to not seek a more demading job until at least 1 to 2 years AFTER a 2nd pregnancy. We can afford to get by right now, without my prevoius much higher paycheck, so I would like to use the opportunity to stay home.

Its weird, in all of HG, it helped me make the descions and change my thoughts so much. Prior to HG, I had planned on returning to workfull time after the baby was born- HG chose for me to stay home!

Hope this helps a bit!

Robin

[Natalie]

[/quote] "I lost my job. This was a HUGE emitional issue for me, I spent days crying, and in turn my HG spent a couple more weeks of being worse".

I find what you wrote really interesting because I don't know anyone else that also lost their job and the stress of that contributing to a deterioration. I also lost my job, ultimately, due to HG. Up until I found out about my job I was doing better. When I was told my contract had been terminated, I was really, really upset (starting getting contractions and everything) and the next three weeks were as bad as I had ever been. It just goes to show that any kind of stress, including emotional stress really does contribute to worsening of HG.

[BlueEeyore]

Stress absolutely makes it worse! My job did all sorts of illegal, discriminatory things while I was sick and pregnant. It took the intervention of my union to get the administration off my back. My nurse was so mad. She told me, "They're making you sicker, you know."

[dwtegli]

I also was terminated due to HG and I definitely beleive it increased the severity. I think any type of stress not to mention the depression increases the severity. I don't know about the length, but definitely the severity.

[nomore]

Its true. Everytime when I got upset. I would spend hours and days paying for it.. triggering the cycles of vomiting. In a way, its probaly better I was at home, since my job was stressfull at times. I loved my job. Losing it then was like saying I REALLY was incapicated (from the HG). I wasnt ready to believe that I wasnt going to go back to a "normal" life before my daughter was born. I still had hope thngs were going to be good. Taking my job literally ripped all of my hope out of me. I think one of the only times in my life I was ever depressed (long term) was when I was pregnant.

I pray this next time will be better.

Robin

[mammaclare]

I was on short term disability from week 8 to week 23. My company doens't allow any part time, so I used vacation days to come back to work only every other day until week 26. Then, I was taken back off and put on STD at week 36 since I had long drives (I am a drug rep). I delivered at 38.5 weeks and had to go back (obviously had no FMLA left!) at 6 weeks pp. So, in all I was off close to 26 weeks last year. My company rocks--they never threatened my job and when I came back I actually got a promotion a month later!

Unfortunately, now I have no business partners in my new division, as I did before, so there may not be a guarantee of a job if I were to get PG and have to take longer than FMLA's 12 weeks off during the worst of HG. They can make a "business decision" to can me if they want. And, it would be illegal for anyone to asnwer me when I ask if they indeed WOULD fire me, so the only way I will ever find out is to be sick again.

I am the only breadwinner-DH is a SAHD-so it is a big deal to me to know I won't lose my job...but since there are no promises in that, it is one more reason why I am afraid to get PG again.

[DeColeCody]

On my way to my Doctors appointment for my 3rd IV, 2nd of the week my boss called. He said we had better talk about other options because I was below quota and it would be hard for him to cover for me. I am in sales.

He said maybe I needed to take a vacation. I have been trying to work from home, and keep above water. The drive takes everything I have to make it there and by the time I get there I just want to come home.

I am getting a pump early next week. Do any of you have one? Can I go to work with a pump? Can I care for my 19 motnh old?

I am on Zofran 8mg (every 6 hours), Reglan 10 mg (6 hours), and phenergan 25mg (6 hours) and still get so severly dehydrated.

Any suggestions as to what I should do about work? If I go out on disability any sales made I will not be compensated for. September should be a stellar month and I have worked over 2 years for this one sale... Have any of you been on Temp short term disability?

Monday is just around the corner!

[PamelaRose]

You should be able to work with the pump; if you're still having problems with dehydration, perhaps scheduling regular fluids will help? You could arrange to go in for a few liters after work every couple of days, or take the next step and get a line inserted and run fluids nightly (and your meds, too). I hope things work out for you; just remind yourself that if it does take too much out of you, if you're unable to manage, you always have the option to take a leave.

Could you work out some sort of arrangement where you'd get partial commission for any sales to clients you've been working with? The problem with HG and short-term disability is that we have no way of knowing how long it will last. My employer was super for the first 8 weeks of work missed due to HG, but after that we struck an agreement that if I wasn't able to work, I'd have to take extended leave. Thankfully, I never relapsed, but when there's that "threat" hanging over your head, HG looms larger than ever. Perhaps it's time to sit down with your boss and have a real heart-to-heart about the reality of HG. The best you can do is try since right now your first priority is the little one your body is working so hard to grow. Good luck!