WILL I EVER BEABLE TO HAVE A CHILD??

[SHANNON]

My name is Shannon Mount I am 24 years old and have been married to my husband for 4 years now, he is currently active in the united states army and we live in new york and next month will be moving to fort lewis washington state!! I was 17 when i first became pregnant and when i had my first termination at 12 weeks, i was so so so very sick, i had lost so much weight i could not eat or keep any kinds of fluids down, for 12 weeks straight i vomited about every hour of the day i could barely stand up without someone being next to me if i were to fall (because i was so weak) it was the worst experince of my life, and all the doctors said was it was just me i was to young and needed to calm down it was just me being to nervous, but my mom and i both decided to terminate this pregnancy because we both thought i would not make it though the whole pregnancy (we both thought i was going to die) so after about 5 years after meeting my husband i became pregnant again and we both were so excited and so happy, but then it happened again about 3 weeks into my pregnanacy i became very sick and everyone said it was just morning sickness, but i new what i was feeling was wrong and it was happening again, i lost more weight i couldnt eat i couldnt drink and every night i was rushed to the emergency room because i was getting so dehydrated, they imediatly gave me iv's of fluid and sent me on my way, this was like this for about 2 months straight, then finally i told my husband i couldnt take it anymore and i was about to kill myself because i was so sick and wanted to eat so badely but i couldnt keep anything down, so i was finally edmitted in the hospital were they kept me overnight and constantly gave me drugs in iv's and i dont even know what they gave me (they even said that they dont have enough research to know if this wont cause any probelms with my baby) but i took the risk and took the medicine, i was feeling 100% better because i was having fluids in the iv's and laying in that hospital bed, but the next day when i was sent home it all started over again, throwing up everything from a little crumb of a cracker to a teaspoon of gingerale, it all came up and i was sick again, it was the worst feeling of my life and i knew what i had to do again and it was to terminate this pregnancy and ever since then i have been so scared about getting pregnant, what do i do, will i ever beable to have a child of my own or since this has happened twice in a row will it happen again, should i just give up on ever becomming pregnant?? please help and very emotional and depresssed women
please email me at JASONANDSHANNON1@AOL.COM

[emily]

Hi Shannon,

I am sorry to hear you have had such a hard time. In all probablity, yes, you probably will have HG again. I have read here that it tends to get worse with each pregnancy. HOWEVER, it doesn't sound like your HG was treated at all. There ARE treatments for HG. Not that it will be easy, but you can certainly do it, so read through the boards and start soaking up all of the information that you can (there are some wonderful stickies in the 1st trimester folder that discuss treatment, as well as stickies in the TTC on pre-conception protocol). Being prepared is the best we can all do.

Congrats on your upcoming move to Fort Lewis area. My inlaws live in Olympia, and it is very nice over there!

Emily

[SHANNON1980]

Emily,
Thankyou so much for your input, unfortunently that's not what I wanted to hear, I thought since I have had it 2 times already then maybe my 3rd would be 100% better, maybe my body would be used to it, but i guess i was wrong. Well like I have told other people the doctors on base and off post (military) dont know a thing about HG, so all they did was give my iv's fluids and some kind of steriod and i do remember benedryl that sometimes helps vommiting..but nothing worked, the only thing that worked was having constant fluids in me while i was admitted in the hospital overnight but right when i went home it started back up..but i dont want to have to be on bed rest for 9 months and only beable to eat through a iv..is that normal do people actually have to do that..are there iv's i can do at home or anything other then pills. pills never helped...
thanks
shannon

[emily]

Well, it isn't what I wanted to hear either! LOL Quite frankly, it can be downright depressing. There are MANY of us here who are in the same situation as you, including myself. We desperately want more children and are scared to death to face HG again. Once in a blue moon, someone is a 100% better, so it isn't as though it NEVER happens, and I certainly don't want to kill all of your hope. But, realistically, it does seem to be once in a blue moon.

If you just don't feel like you can face an HG pregnancy again no matter what, I would highly recommend looking at the adoption and surrogacy folders on this board.

Also, you are also not alone as far as the military doctor thing goes, there are others here who have similar stories.

I just want to say, that I personally think it is a big mistake to think that you will just be 100% better because if you aren't that is going to be a big let down not only physically but emotionally as well.

My children are going to be 5 years apart so I can schedule take 9 months off of my life to be an incubator. I don't particuarly want to give up my life either, but I know it is worth it for a baby.

Anyhow, I am not trying to be negative, just realistic. I totally understand where you are coming from and I echo a lot of the the thoughts you have voiced here. It isn't fair at all. It does irritate me too when I see people all around having babies when I have a wonderful home, a stable marriage, etc etc to bless another baby with, but because of HG, I don't have that baby yet.

Emily

[PamelaRose]

Hi, Shannon, and welcome! I am so very sorry that you're feeling so depressed; the feeling of longing comes across loud and clear! The bad news, you've already heard from Emily. HG does not go away, and it does not get less severe with new pregnancies. Of COURSE there are exceptions, and you'll find women here who have had normal pregnancies before or even after HG pregnancies. However, the odds are not in our favor in that regard, and I'm a firm believer that preparationfor the worst is much better than being smacked upside the head by reality. I don't think many women are going to be upset if they've prepared for HG and it never shows up, whereas I've seen too many women convince themselves that HG won't happen again, only to be bitterly disappointed.

But wait - there's good news! HG is treatable! Since you responded well to rehydration, I'd guess that you'd do much better with continual fluids. Many HGers have IV lines inserted and run fluids as needed at home; this avoids the spiral you experienced of feeling much better in the hospital and then hitting bottom again at home. Once you're hydrated, meds will actually work much better. There are many, many possibilities, and it really is just trial-and-error to find what works best for you. You will still have HG, but you can be functional. If you go to the Stories of Grief, Humor, Hope forums, you'll find a moderater named Anna who was in your situation and did find a happy ending - her beautiful little boy. It can definitely be done! I wish you all the best; let us know what we can do to help.