New Husband to Forum

[cormander]

Hello Everyone,

My name is Corey and I'm new to this forum. I've seen my wife on this website for the past couple months and it has really seemed to help her a lot.

So here I am checking things out, trying to learn the perspective of the women a lot better. And I must say, I feel really bad for all the pain and suffering that they have to go through. I've read a lot about the "husbands who don't get it", and to be honest I was one of them for the first few months of our pregnancy.

I'm a computer guy and work nights at home from my PC. When HG started to hit and we didn't know what it was, I found myself spending a lot more time during the day with my computer then with my wife. I was really angry and scared that she wouldn't do the simplest things, and I had to get everything for her. It really made me upset that nothing sounded good for her to eat, and even that the things she did approve of me getting for her she would only eat a tiny bit of and then go throw up.

I haven't thrown up since highschool, and can't imagine what it's like to be throwing up multiple times a day. It took me a while to realize that all this being sick wasn't normal, and it took a lot of effort to get it into my head that all the screaming at me wasn't from my wife, but it was from her being so miserable.

So at first I was very reluctant to help out thinking "why should I have to do everything". Now I feel so bad about that, that any time she wants even the littlest thing I jump up and do it for her. It's the least I can do.

So to all you women who have husbands who don't get it, remind them this, because it's what helped me realize what my wife is going through. Remind them that you were not this "lazy, emotional and very sick" person before you got pregnant, and that this is not a normal pregnancy. Ask them if they can find it in their heart to understand, try to sit down and talk to them. And try to realize that it is hard for them too, because us husbands are scared and upset.

Anyway, I've written a novel here so I wish you all the best

-Corey

[mammaclare]

Thank you for your post and for your clear love for your wife.

I had a "kind of got it" husband. He was great about doing things for me and the house, but still went to "hide" in the office on the computer much of the time.

I think I will share your post with him so that HE knows he isn't alone in his feelings he had; I think too often I only talk about the husbands I hear of on the site who were amazing, and not the normal ones...

[PamelaRose]

Ah, Corey, I think you have a bunch of HGers in love with you here! How wonderful that you've made the effort to understand what your wife is going through. HG is so consuming, it just destroys every semblence of normal in life, including "normal" marriage. But I really feel that my marriage and our parenthood was strengthened by the hell we faced with HG. And I know my husband will never question my strength! Thank you so much for sharing your story with others!

[danimomof2girls]

Wow, my heart is warmed by your posting. I too have a wonderful and loving husband and I can only imagine how helpless you guys feel when your wife is puking uncontrollably and so miserable. I think us women for the most part understand when you guys need to retreat (whether it be the computer or golf etc). As long as you come back
HG is not easy on the mom or the dad and I have great respect for my husband for being there for me when I was sick with both pregnancies. These stories have a happy ending though because they resulted in beautiful and healthy children! It will all be over soon and you guys will be able to enjoy each other and your new little one! You'll also be comforted to know that none of us have produced aliens although my husband joked that I must be pregnant with one to make me so sick
You guys are in our thoughts!