help required

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help required

Postby paul » Jul 04, 2004 4:59 am

My wife Sam is 6 weeks pregnant and has HG again. It wasn't planned and all the emotion and stress of the first one has come flooding back along with what appears to be worse nausea. We have a beautiful 18 month old daughter claudia, and would love a second,but i fear she is going to choose termination.
She is away at hte moment with her mother, but is suffering terribly, and says she cant cope again. We live in the uk, and the hg support group appears to have folded in april last year. Sam was in hospital 12 times during the first pregnancy, and received no support or help from the medical profession. The thought of going through it again alone is a major problem.
Im willing to support her full time, but i fear this will not not be enough to persuade her to keep going, can anyone suggest what i can do??
paul
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Postby HBofHG » Jul 04, 2004 8:31 am

Paul,
First of all I'm glad you have found this forum, make sure you check out all of the forums that are available and write something there as well. These forums are not only for couples who need advice, but for couples who survived it and want to help others, maybe there is somebody from the UK who can point you in the right direction. My wife had HG with both of her pregnancies as well, and I can truly sympathize with your situation, the first time my wife had it we didn't know what was going on, and we were very close to terminating the pregnancy, we didn't and now we have two wonderful sons. How long did your wifes HG last the first time? If your wife was in the hospital 12 times, she was undoubtedly suffering with HG, by wanting to support your wife full-time means that you're already off to a good start, your wife is very lucky. I reside in the United States, and my wifes doctor knew that she had HG, and was prepared. Since I don't know much about the healthcare situation in the UK, I wouldn't presume to tell you where to go, or even how to go about it, but I will say that somebody HAS to know about HG and it's treatment, bang on as many doors as possible, government? medical organizations? eventhough you say the HG support group folded last year, I'm sure the people who started it are still floating around. Whether or not you find help, obviously, your wife still needs treatment, contact the hospital tell them your wife, who had this before has it again, and they should do what they did before. That's all I can think of right now, I just wanted to reply to your post as soon as I could. I hope I have helped with a few ideas, you are not alone, there is help available, you just have to find it. My wife and I wish you and your wife all the best of luck in finding the medical care and support that you need. You are in our prayers.
- Geoff
My wife survived two HG pg and we have two fantastic little boys.
Christopher 8/6/01
Nicholas 4/6/04
HBofHG
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Postby Natalie » Jul 04, 2004 11:18 am

Hi Paul

I really feel for you, your wife and the whole situation. HG is absolutely HIDEOUS. But, there is support available so try not to despair.
Firstly, there is a lady (?PamelaRose) that arranges 'buddies' here. Do you think your wife (or you) would benefit from having a 'buddy'? Where are you based? There are a few of us from the UK that are members here. I am in Bristol, but there may be others closer and this lady will know who is best.
Secondly, research, research, research! There are things you can do proactively to help the illness / prevent it from getting any worse. Twelve admissions to hospital sounds like the meds she was on weren't doing a very good job. What did she try?
Re: the medical profession. You are not alone there either. I (and others on this website too numerous to mention) experienced some really, really crappy care- to put it politely. My husband was horrified (at my midwife in particular) but was able to fight on my behalf when I got too weak. Are you at the same GP surgery as last time? Do you have the same midwifery service? Can you ask to change citing lack of support / understanding / faith in your care providers?
I also had to go and live with my parents when I was sick and I loathed being separated from my husband so I really can sympathise. The great thing is that your wife has a husband who sounds very supportive which is just what she needs!
Do get in touch if you think I can help in any way
If I can think of anything else, I will post again.
Best wishes
Natalie
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Postby PamelaRose » Jul 05, 2004 9:00 am

Hello, Paul, and thanks so much for writing. A surprise HG pregnancy is enough to make any woman question her strength, and we can all understand your wife's emotional state. I myself faced the same situation over 2 years ago, and now that little surprise is a lively 18-month old whom I wouldn't trade for the world. But getting there is the battle.

Your wife has good family support with you and her mother, it seems, and a logical next step is getting in contact with a volunteer who's lived through HG and can help make the confusion more clear. Please email me with your email address; I have great UK volunteers who'd be willing to help out. The Blooming Awful group is still around; just leave a message and one of the gals will get back to you.

As for the medical situation, if your current practitioner is not willing to work to aleviate HG symptoms, he or she is not in your wife's best interest right now. The UK ladies can give you ideas about setting up more proactive care; we do have "Other Countries" forum for you to look into, too. Is your wife on any anti-emetics? We've got women from England getting Zofran, so it is available to you. Is she vomiting already? How often? You may need to take control here and ask for/demand what you know may help. If your wife was hospitalized so many times with the last pregnancy, she'd probably respond well to more regular hydrations--ask about daily IV fluids. As we dehydrate, our thinking becomes less clear, and that can lend to the feelings of hopelessness and thoughts of terminating. Your wife is absolutely normal to be voicing such thoughts right now; finding support and a doctor willing to listen and work to improve the condition are keys to reducing some of the fears.

Please get in touch so I can set you up with a volunteer from your area. You are giving wonderful support to your wife, and this research and reaching out is invaluable as she faces this difficult time. If she's able, please direct her to our forums. Sometimes seeing other women's success stories gives inspiration to keep going--it certainly did for me. We also have many who have terminated here, and she can openly discuss her feelings and get their reactions. And I look forward to seeing more of you here, too--the knowledge and understanding you gain will be healing to you, as well. Best wishes to you both; let us know what you need!
Pamela

4-Time HG Survivor
*Brody (8-11-98 )
*Avery (1-24-01)
*Reilly (12-16-02)
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thankyou

Postby paul » Jul 05, 2004 2:15 pm

thanks for the replies, some really useful advice and encouragement, which i shall be using. thanks again
paul
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Postby jjbeck » Jul 06, 2004 10:30 pm

Paul. I am sorry to hear you and your wife are suffering again. I had an HG pg end after trying several treatments. This time around though I was fortunate to have learned about steroid treatment. For me it was literally a lifesaver and worked quickly while other treatments failed.
Goodluck to you and your wife.
Jen
Jen 34
HG X2

DH Bob
DD Ava 4/04
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Postby stephensmam » Jul 07, 2004 3:07 pm

hi paul,
im so sorry to here your wife is so ill, I am a moderator in the hg outside the us and i live in Ireland and am also a volunteer in the blooming awful site, all i can share with you is my experience , iit short i have a 6 yr old son who i had severe hg with sick untill 3 days after dilavary like you wife i had about 14 admissions to hosp for iv treatment nothing else was offered and i can say it was nine months of hell which i said i could never go through again well im currently 30 weeks and 4 days pregnant i started off the same even with zofran from 4 weeks i ended up in hosp at 7 weeks and stayed there for 6 and a half weeks i was on vit b6 ivs and zofran but i was still vomiting 20 plus times a day which was an improvement from the 45 plus i was doing before i had iv therapy what saved me and my sanity was steroids i started at 12 weeks on 30mgs prednisalone and was on them at a tapering dose till i was 25 weks , it got me home from the hosp it gave me an appitite my vomiting was down to 2 a day and even though i so very tired and weak and cant work i can manage to get my son to school and manage to sort of look after him, plese look into steroids as a treatment for your wife, i bombared my dr with steriod study after steroid study he had never used steroids in pg befoore and is telling all his collegues now howgreat it works,

please feel free to e mail me privatly if you like and ill do anything i can to help your wife and yourself.
lots of love and hugs Jacqueline
HG pg no 1 28/04/98 darling son Stephen ivs only,pnd
HG pg no 2 01/09/04 darling daughter Sarah ivs , zofran, steroids, meclizine, b6.http://lilypie.com/Kids_Birthday_code.p ... y_code.php#
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