How Can the Father Help?
Fathers are typically the most important supporters for mothers, and your response to her illness often impacts her the most. Consistent and reliable help is very much needed. Thus, we have included some suggestions just for fathers to help you know best how to support her through this.
- Hire as much help as you can afford for childcare,
house cleaning, cooking, etc. Select the tasks that you
dislike or that are very difficult to fit in your schedule
first.
- Try to avoid verbalizing your frustrations in a way
that make her feel guilty for the extra burden on you. That
will only create more stress and worsen her condition.
Do talk to her about your feelings and try to find ways
to cope without straining your relationship.
- If possible, call friends and family that are close
to her and educate them on her illness. Then ask
what they can do to help out for a while, such as calling
her weekly.
- Encourage her to be as active as she can, however
understand she may need to rest often. Help her do
any exercises suggested by her health professionals and
try out comfort
productsas
needed to ease the pain of muscle loss and bed rest.
- Be there to let her cry or vent her frustrations and
offer understanding and suggestions to help her cope. Know
that her emotions are real. They are either positively
or negatively influenced by her illness, the support
she receives, and her genetic sensitivity to the hormonal
changes of pregnancy. Read more about her emotions in
our Mother's
Survival Guide.
- Try to get her out of the house for something fun,
even for a short time, as often as she tolerates. This
may just be your driving her to a baby store or a friend's
house.
- Think of something each week to add enjoyment to her
life, such as picking out baby names, brief outings,
or a special at-home date night. HG can leave her very
depressed. If she is ill during the holidays, try to
find ways she can participate in the festivities.
- Make sure she is getting effective
treatment,
and that her doctor is treating her individual symptoms.
If not, help her find
another health professional.
- Try to keep life as normal as possible if you have
other children at home. Keep the focus off of mom
being ill and reassure them often she will get well soon.
It can be traumatic for them, so seek a child psychologist
if they become moody or cannot cope.
- Prepare food for any children, as well as anything
she can tolerate. Make it easily accessible so she
doesn't have to spend a lot of time in the kitchen and
can rest often.
- Do your best to eliminate
triggers of her vomiting/nausea by
avoiding foods she cannot tolerate, eating low-odor
foods, dining away from home, and cooking on a grill.
- Try to find
foods she can eat and
prepare them for her as soon as she feels they are
tolerable. Often preparing food increases nausea
and creates an aversion.
- Understand that intimacy may be difficult or impossible
for some time. Avoid any comments that might make
her feel guilty or pressured.
- Ask her what you can do to help her most. Open
communication is important.
- If you are struggling
to cope,
seek professional counseling. It is a sign of strength
and courage, not weakness. HG can be extremely stressful
and even overwhelming.
- Educate yourself on signs of depression both during pregnancy and postpartum. She is at greater risk for depression if her symptoms are severe and/or last for more than half of her pregnancy. Make sure she gets help if needed.
Updated on: Sep. 15, 2022