by Pandy » Mar 02, 2006 5:14 am
I've been lurking here for a while, my g/f (KimberlyAnn's mummy) is on her second HG pregnancy, and usually I just lurk and read the posts since usually if I have anything to say Helen has posted it before I get the chance to get on..lol
But I felt like I HAD to reply to this topic. This may be Helen's second HG pregnancy but I have three grown up children from my marriage to my ex. My ex wife was a fluffy with all three pregnancies, only having mild NVP like most "normal pregnancies". When Helen started feeling sick we both thought it was morning sickness to begin with but then she got worse... and worse, to the point of having to go into hospital for IV by 10 weeks. I NEVER disbelieved her as I could SEE how bad she was, before she went into hospital she even talked of terminating the pregnancy, and wanting to die, That was very hard for me to hear, and I hated seeing her the way she was with that first pregnancy, but I would never have told her to abort, I just told her that I would be there for her whatever decision she made. Her dr's refused to give her medication and did not understand what she was going through, said it was just NVP and to go home and suck on ice chips.
When Helen found this site, she called me at work and said she'd been bawling her eyes out because she saw herself in so many people on here. I was so glad that she had found the reason for her sickness, and she also found the list of meds she could take. Since her dr wouldn't prescribe her meds, I went and bought OTC anti-emetics (phenergan and B6) for her, and although I was concerned with how the meds would affect both her and the baby, I soon realised the risks of taking the pills was far less, in my opinion, than what the risks would be had she not have taken them. I noticed a significant improvement in Helen when she was taking the meds. She wasn't fluffy at all, but she could at least function, and the vomiting went down from 25+ times a day to around 4-6 times a day. From then on, she had good days and bad days.
I changed my works shift pattern so I could start at lunch time, that way I could clean the house and prepare meals and drinks should she want to try to eat/drink. Then I would go to work and work 12hr shifts. YES I was tired and YES I got grumpy towards the end of the week, it was damn hard work, but I know that Helen could not have done any of those things herself. Proven by the fact that she tried to move the coffee table and relapsed badly for a good few days.
The first thing I would say to your b/f is that you should NEVER listen to your mates when they know nothing about what they are talking about. The dr's you are seeing would not prescribe you meds if they were not safe in pregnancy.
I can't believe he was insensitive to the smells and food, if I wanted a hot meal then I went to a cafe and had a meal there, I didn't cook in the house until after Helen got her meds, so 6 months. Helen quite often didn't want cuddles because it made her worse, but I would just be there and stroke her hair (if that didn't aggrivate her!)
TMI, but we haven't had sex since Helen found out she was pg this time, I don't take this as a reflection on me, no-one would want to throw up then do the deed. (besides she is still threatening to cut it off if I come near her again!!) Helen's dr is only a 5 minute car ride and she would have a really hard time travelling even that short distance, never mind 90 mins.
Your baby was planned so in my mind, he should be responsible for half of your medical bills, I'm sure if you were to get a lawyer they would tell you the same. (of course it maybe different than here in the UK)
I'm sorry your b/f is so unsupportive, But I say, you need to worry about you and your baby, and try and forget about him, the stress is not doing you any good. And as for him saying he will take your baby away when it's born, he won't find a court in the land that will give him custody just because you had HG, that is scaremongering, and rediculous, and totally untrue.
I'm going to get of my perch now, but his attitude made me angry, especially as I have seen first hand how bad Helen was with her first. This pregnancy is better in comparison, but she still suffers every day, and I am back to working afternoon shifts so I can get everything done before I head out the door.