What if...another baby??

[keow0508]

So, I just celebrated my most recent HG baby's 1st birthday last Tuesday ... I have been sad that he is likely our last baby (as my husband swears he can't do an HG pregnancy again - Yes, because it wasn't hard on me at all - I know it comes from a good place that he is afraid for our sons, my health (my HG was progressively worse this past pregnancy), our jobs/etc but sometimes I have trouble hearing that from him). Everyone would say I am nuts if we decided to have another baby (and myself included). However, if I look in my heart, there are a lot of times I just don't feel like my family is complete, but I don't know if I am strong enough to endure another pregnancy (and mine was bad but not nearly as bad as many of you). We have considered adoption, etc. and have decided to table the discussion until next year (give us both some distance from the pregnancy, enjoy the amazing boys that we have and our life together before we make a decision to either get a more permanent birth control option or have another kid). And then life happens, right!? We were on an adult only vacation over the weekend, and my husband and I enjoyed some quality time together and there was a bit of a malfunction with our form of birth control ... and I ovulated this weekend. So, here I am freaking out wondering what would happen if I did end up conceiving and I am in a stomach wrenching panic ... I feel nauseous and scared but wonder if this is the only way we would actually have a 3rd child (by accident) or if this anxiety is really telling me I don't want to be pregnant again... I did a spin through the calendar and figured out all of the events and life that I would miss if I were stuck in bed on ivs and it is making me really freaked out. I didn't know where to post this - because I didn't want to post something like this in the TTC folder as I know so many struggle to become pregnant but I had to put it out there somewhere to people who would understand the terror and potential joy of this issue.

[AnneCan]

I had a moment of panic earlier this year, before we were pregnant with this one, and that was when we'd already decided to try again! I thought I was pregnant, but it was about 3 months before we had decided the timing was right. It totally threw me for a loop, knowing what I'd have to sacrifice/change, etc becuase of being pregnant. When I did get pregnant, the timing was perfect, and I didn't have that same panic (just regular "here we go again" worries/fear). I know, 100%, that I don't want any 'oops' moments after this one, and we are both getting 'fixed' once this baby is in our arms!

It's hard to say why you're feeling the way you are. All you can do is wait, give it a few days until you can test, and then deal with the reality once you know for sure. If you feel sadness that you're not pregnant, you can always decide as a couple if you want to try again and discuss timing, lifestyle, budgets, plans, etc....

[keow0508]

Thanks Anne. I woke up last night almost puking in my sleep and nearly melted down... I think it was just not eating enough and taking some pain medicine for my back (that I recently hurt while picking up my 3 year old). It is really bringing so much fear and "reality" of another HG pregnancy home this week. I will wait this one out and see how I feel about the end result.

[AnneCan]

Good luck with everything, and I hope you feel "peaceful" with whatever outcome you end up with in a few days!

[DebbieS]

The anxiety can be your body's way of warning you it's sensing danger - like you might be about to jump off a cliff without any special gear/ preparation - not surprising really. This happened to me ttc last time & preparation/making a good plan really decreased the anxiety. If you do happen to be pregnant you have the advantage of your prior experience/knowledge & will be able to get together a plan even if it's not your ideal plan. With regards to an unwilling/worried DH, my DH agreed once I had developed a plan to show it could be done safely & had worked out ways to minimize the impact on our family. Good luck!

[sweetpea]

We've had three oopsies this year. We were saddened when we lost two of those, and shocked when we found out our 3rd oopsy was twins!
We're both very excited and also ready for this to be it. With our last one, we just weren't sure if we wanted to do it again. This time we're happy that it will be it and feel pretty settled about it! Although I suppose wanting more when we'll have 5 under the age of 4 would just be insane! We've always wanted at least 5.
We'll be getting something more permanent done b/c obviously what we were doing wasn't working!

[keow0508]

After almost a week of pretty strong symptoms (mild nausea, burping, fatigue, veiny chest, dizzy spells, food aversions, etc. which always happen before I get my BFP in prior pregnancies), I have been doing what I can to prepare (buying sublingual B6/Miralax/Xantac/Flintstones, adapting protocols for my own, using extra flouride treatments, getting my hair/toes/nails done (silly thing as a last treat before the smells and movement won't let me do any of those things), busting it at work, taking vitamins while I can, playing like crazy with the boys and resting as much as possible at night, etc.) and trying to come to grips with the fact that this may be a reality now (as I would have said absolutely these are pregnancy symptoms for me). Now, I am sitting here incredibly achy and had some spotting just a few minutes ago. Today would be the official "missed my period day" but I ran out of tests (yes, I am a POAS aholic!!!! ) yesterday so I didn't test this morning. Thus far negative, but I have had 3 rounds of these symptoms before (2 babies and 1 very early loss). For so many reasons, this would be a really bad time (Big one - I started a new job last October so I don't have FMLA protections until October of this year so if I got put on leave during the 1st trimester, I wouldn't be protected). I don't know what to think or how to feel. My husband just admitted that he feels a little disappointed by the news (although we are both very quick to say another baby isn't the thing that scares us it is the illness and we aren't sure we are ready to be in the midst of all of that again...). So if I do start today, what do I do with the emotions I am feeling about being a little sad it isn't a third baby but totally thrilled that this doesn't mean I am going to be feeling as though I am on death's door within the next 3 weeks? Does this mean we both want the third child and should have one, so I should just start trying to prepare (working out, vitamins, etc) and then try to select the "best" time (we had initially tabled the discussion of a 3rd kid until October of 2013) and then go for it or find another way to have one (adoption), etc or is the fear portion of us enough to take a more permanent measure for birth control and not have the third child (and not go through the "what ifs" each month at this time). Should I go in and get a blood test to know if this is an early loss so I can trust these symptoms again? I know this is poorly written, but I needed a place to spill these thoughts and then try to focus on the rest of my day at work.

If I had fluffy pregnancies this would be such a different decision and discussion and it makes me SO angry that I can't get the joy piece of a new baby until the baby is here.

[DebbieS]

A confusing time for you and your family. It sounds like you would like another child, later on. HG complicates things doesn't it? (Hugs)