I'm feeling so worn out these days. Physically, mentally, emotionally....everyday is a drag on my spirit! I keep telling myself "only 2 more months", but it's no comfort, as 2 more months seems like an eternity (this entire pregnancy has felt like an eternity). I think it's depression that has started to really settle in (as I've mentioned in a recent post). I might have a better day (mood/outlook wise), but then the next few days of feeling so sick and useless puts me right back to the bottom. I'm feeling more and more disconnected and sad, especially. DH and I barely talk; DD and I can't really do much together because it makes me feel so crappy, plus I am waaaay less patient with her lately (and then I feel like a shitty mom all around); my friends and family haven't called/texted/emailed in weeks and weeks. I live in front of my computer because it's the only thing I can do, but I'm so sick of it and bored out of my mind. It's summer but I can't be out. It's the long weekend here, but I can't do anything. I had some things planned to help celebrate this (last) pregnancy, like Henna Tattoo on my belly, and maternity photo's planned that I wanted to do by 32-33 weeks, but I have yet to contact anyone. I just lost my motivation, and I'm not at all excited...I just don't care anymore and want this to be over. I also used to look for recipes and dream of what I would have after this is over, but again, I just don't even care to think and dream about it anymore. I don't want to shop, browse for baby things, or 'nest'....I just want to see my ticker say "40 weeks" so I can be done with this HG business forever and forget it ever happened.
**Ugggghhh. Rant, Vent, Cry. Done tantrum.**
I doubt I have to ask if anyone else feels the same way or understands? I wish it wasn't so depressing.
The one positive I have to add is that I bought myself the "wink" post pregnancy belly girdle thing. I researched a whole bunch of them and it's pricey, but it had great reviews. I had to order it from the states. I want to have something on hand in case I have another c-section. If I don't have a c-section, then at least I'll have something to support my insides. I figured I earned at least this after getting all stretched out from these babies.
Anyways, sorry not so chipper today. thanks for reading (if you still are!)
DD1 born Jan 29, 2010. Mod-Severe HG. Started treatment at 5 weeks. c-section (breech)
DD2 born July 23, 2012. Severe HG started treatment at 4 weeks until birth. VBAC!