Don't know what to do

[hopefulmama]

I can't keep anything down. DH works 12-14 hour days and some weekends. I don't have any family here (15 hours away) and I don't really have any friends. I know I am dehydrated and need fluids, but my last ER visit was $1,100. We can't afford that again. Plus, I have no one to take me there or watch Simon. I just basically told DH I NEED him. He said can't take off. I am at a loss and am very depressed.

[teddi]

I am so sorry to hear that. What would happen if you were hospitalized? As in where/who would have your son? Are there cheaper other options for you- most Drs offices don't, but perhaps your Drs office can do fluids in the office OR refer you to a highrisk OB that has an office equipped where they can? Do you have insurance that home health may be an option?

[hopefulmama]

The ER visit was after insurance. It's nuts. I have been thinking about switching to a high risk doc. I am not sure home health would cost. We had much better insurance last pregnancy. That would be the only option. I can not be hospitalized. I was really hoping not to get to this point. In the mean time, I am going to see if urgent care is cheaper then the ER for fluids.

[Afinkel]

Are there any kids in your neighborhood (age 8-12ish) who may be interested in being a mommy's helper? I pay my neighbor across the street $5 per hour to come on Saturdays to play with my daughter for 2 hours. She's 10. I'm in the house, so she's not babysitting alone. My daughter LOVES playing with her. They just take out all the toys and go to town. Now that the weather's getting a little nicer, they've gone in the backyard to do digging and to paint the porch (with water and paint brushes).

Maybe you could see if a local church or community center has a message board or volunteer board where you could post a request for help? If you have an alderman or even the mayor of your town, you could email them to see if they have a resource network for support. These kinds of things exist for seniors and also sometimes from those struggling with illness.

Good luck and hang in there!

Ali

[CarliBear]

i have recently gotten loads of information about good doctors and volunteers who are willing to help me in my area by emailing the author at beyondmorningsickness.com. i wish i had found them sooner as they have been a great help for me. i bet they really might be able to help you at least with the medical care and maybe even find someone to help you in your area. i promise it would be worth your while to contact them. please keep us updated. hope that helps!

[Cin]

You need to go into the hospital, and your DH needs to be a man and come home.

I know it's expensive (I wish I could just fly you all to Canada, it makes me sick to think you need to think about money when it comes to your health) -- but you need medical care. Dehydration this severe in second trimester is nothing to fool around with. We have lost babies here due to severe, unproperly treated HG in the second trimester. We have had forum members go into kidney failure and end up in the ICU. We even had one member die in 2005.

Please, I am begging you, for your safety and the safety of your baby, go to the hospital. Bring your son if you have to. Just go. I have been at HER since 2006 (six years) and the scenario you're describing, where you need to go into the ER but don't for one serious reason or another, rarely turns out well. It often leads to long, long hospital stays or worse.

I am not trying to unduly frighten you -- I am trying to impress upon you the potential seriousness of your situation. I care about you. I am worried about you. I want to smack your husband until he sees stars.

Where are you in the U.S.? Perhaps one of our senior forum members lives there (someone not HGing) and could help. We love to help our HG sisters here!

Many hugs. Keep posting. We're here to help.

[hopefulmama]

How do I get DH to understand it's serious. I got fluids last night with IV meds and an already dehydrated. I need more help, but he doesn't want me to get "interventions" like last time. I am dizzy and weak. It seems impossible to take care of my DS and dogs. I NEED him to understand.

[CarliBear]

How do I get DH to understand it's serious. I got fluids last night with IV meds and an already dehydrated. I need more help, but he doesn't want me to get "interventions" like last time. I am dizzy and weak. It seems impossible to take care of my DS and dogs. I NEED him to understand.

i am sorry but this is ridiculous... i don't understand why he is not aware, especially if you've had to have interventions the last time, that this is serious/possibly life threatening??? do you have anyone you can call? how does he not get it if you've already had HG before???

this is way too much, you need help, he needs to be slapped in the face and woken up! please, do whatever you have to do to get the help you need! if he isn't going to help you you need to be put on home care so you don't have to keep begging to get fluids and meds. i am so sorry he is not supporting you like he should!

[hopefulmama]

He thinks the interventions made me worse last time. I got 2 picc infections. But, it helped SO much when I had it though. I ended up with the feeding tube. I would go that way again.