Nate was born one week ago. He has been in the NICU ever since. This is crushing his father and I.
We've spoken about it to friends/family, and everyone just flat out ignores that part. All they talk about is how cute the baby is, they want more pictures, they want to meet him... Well, I would like my baby out of the isolette! I would like the feeding tube out of his nose! I would like to bring him home.
It's like they just flat out ignore his struggles. I never hear, "how is he doing" or "do you know when he'll be home?" It would be nice if it felt like people cared about our baby, and not ... this new novelty that can be dressed up or something.
I'm not doing super well, my ob already put me on zoloft for ppd, and i'm taking klonopin wafers for anxiety as needed. My heart is just broken. My hour a day spent with him is not enough. His pediatrician is an ass. Because we have medicaid, he is our only option until Nate is out of the hospital.
He has overcome every single problem he had, except for his feedings. They say he has suck/swallow issues. I don't know that I agree. When I feed him, he does just fine, it's just that he goes to sleep too fast. He's lost weight, down from 4 pounds 6 ounces to 3 pounds something. He spits up a bit more than he should. They do most of his feedings by feeding tube. I breastfeed once a day. (My milk is not in, although maybe it is today, ouch, but I know he's been getting colostrum.) He latches on like he's been doing it for years. He prefers breast to bottle.
I just don't know what to do. I'm missing all of his firsts. I feel like the HG was all one big nightmare... I wake up and there is no baby. They refuse to give any sort of timeline or anything for his release, they wont tell me what they are going to try to make this situation better. The nurses are MUCH better. It's just the damn doctor that is such an ass.
Anyways, thank you for reading all of this. I hope you all dont mind that I'm once again turning to you for support. :/