You know you have HG when...

[Kaline]

You know you have Hyperemesis Gravidarum if...

You had never noticed how horrible the toilet bowl smells until now, and it was just cleaned!

Having puked violently in public multiple times, had detailed discussions about your bowel habits , answered the door with barf breath while wearing pajama pants with a big hole in the butt, not showered for days, and been unable to sit on the toilet without assistance, not much embarrasses you anymore.

You hold a bucket on your lap when you sit on the toilet so you can pee/poop/puke all at the same time.

Your 2-year-old sits next to you while you vomit, sticking his head in the toilet and making throwing up noises right along with you. Then, he tries to kiss you (on the mouth) to make you feel better, and you have to dodge his kiss so that it ends up on the cheek instead of your nasty puke mouth.

You think of women who have easy pregnancies as "fluffies" and when people give you rude and annoying advice, you call it "crackering".

Last, but not least...

:verygreen: Date night used to consist of a romantic dinner, a movie, or a relaxing night in sipping wine and enjoying one another's company. Now date night consists of your husband helping you with your enema (which he bought in bulk at Costco) and holding your hair back while you vomit.

[erinclot]

- anytime you gag the cat sits down beside the toilet waiting for you to come be sick

This is my cat! We called him "Nurse Henry" all through my last pregnancy.

These are all so true- thanks for the good laugh. It really brightened my day.

[toughluck]

you know you have HG when ...

...at night you snuggle up to your puke bowl instead of to your husband.
...you categorize different doctors and midwifes according to their magic numbers (12/14/16..weeks).
...you feel your teeth should start wearing bath suits because they literally drown in saliva.
...your dentist asks you whether you'll have another baby soon and there are $$ signs in his eyes.
...you can puke and clean the toilet/sink at the same time.
...you watch a documentary about wild animals with your son and you get jealous because the Australian rat cangaroo (not sure about the name) is only 20 days pregnant.
...your idea of a girl's night out means you're changing from bed to sofa and watch a movie with your 2 favorite puke bowls.

[MamaRach]

Hilarious!! I love it. This thread has MADE MY DAY!! These are my few signs
- there are a dozen pieces of *FOODMENT* cold toast *FOODMENT* scattered around the kitchen because you can only get around to putting them in the toaster before puking uncontrollably.
- the nurse knows your safe food list
- The doctors in ER see you as a challenge because you have a reputation of being the most difficult person to get an IV line into, and / or they put dibs on giving it a try "next time you're in".
- The triage nurse at the doctors surgery greets you with a spew cup
- You instruct your trainee nurse on how to stop and start, silence the alarm and change the flow rate on your IV machine
- Your dreams consist of sculling **DRINKMENT** bottle after bottle of cold water**DRINKMENT** - then you wake up with your lips glued together and your tongue feeling like a piece of sandpaper
- You have to pee in a pan so the nurse can measure the 80ml of urine you produce each day
- you have the drooling ability to put a mastiff to shame
- your drool output is more than your fluid intake

I'm sure there are plenty more. Keep em coming.

[E-Mom]

You know you have HG when you tell your sister that you started taking Zofran (on your third pregnancy) and she, with no medical training, says, "Remember to take your Colace!"

[JulianaHG]

When any time someone mentions a cracker a wide manic grin spreads across your face!x

[3rdgirl2010]

• no one comes running anymore when you start throwing up
• you say, "oh I forgot to flush!", and your 8 year old asks, "do you mean the toilet, or your line??"
• your children know the difference between a heprin flush and a saline flush AND WHAT order they are used in
• while your washing your 5 yr olds hair, she steps aside in the shower so you can throw up down the drain cause the smell of her shampoo was TOO much to handle.
• when your 8 year old daughter says "I don't think I want to have any kids when I grow up, being pregnant doesn't look like any fun" :'(
• and when your 5 year old refers to you as "sick mommy" and says she can't WAIT to have "make-up mommy back"!!!!

[mommyme]

- you point out places/parking lots around town as "I threw up there once"

- you throw up on the way to the ER but dont bother to pull over because you already have the plastic bag in hand

- your husband has to take every last peice of clothing in the house to the laudromat becasue the laudry hasnt been done since God knows when and he's sure the washer/dryer will explode by the time its all finished

[ztca4me]

you know you have HG if your family is USED to waiting 25 minutes for you to say ONE sentence, because if you talk any faster you ARE going to vomit

no one even LOOKS at you funny any more when you walk around with cotton balls stuck up your nostrils

your kids pretty much know you're going to need to go change your pants after you throw up in the kitchen sink, because you undoubtedly just peed them again

you have no qualms whatsoever about telling your husband to pick you up some more enemas because of the Zofran

Sunday is ENEMA DAY at your house, because of the Zofran

You have 15 various bottles of juice opened in your fridge, each with ONE glass missing, and NO ONE is allowed to drink any of them, just in case you should suddenly decide that you CAN stomach that one again!

You've had ONE VEIN in your entire body for the last 4 years that can be used, it's used so often it's a scar now, and they STILL use it, because it's the only one and after that it's either your inner wrist or your neck

Just saying the word PEEEUUU causes your dog to get up and RUN in fright (no joke)

reading this list out loud to your family causes everyone to laugh and CRY at the same time

[amytie48]

You know you have Hyperemesis Gravidarum if...

...you've become way too comfortable discussing vomit but can't tolerate conversations about food.

...you and your DH refer to stretches of time by the one & only food item you were able to keep down during that time. ***FOODMENT*** i.e. Weekend of the Tater Tots ***FOODMENT***

...there aren't any places between your house and work that you haven't pulled over to get sick.

...your DH has had to BBQ outside, in the dead of winter.

...your doctor walks into the room, takes one look at you and goes "OMG! Are you okay?" and you were just thinking that this feels like one of your better days.

...your pharmacist sees you approach with a script in your hand and asks you if you'll be having your regular.

...the most touching thing that's happened to you in months is when your emetophobic coworker starts taking you out for a lunchtime walk everyday, because she heard that it helps a little to do so, but you have difficulty rallying the energy to do so.

...if you mention you have a craving, your DH goes running out to fulfill it, because he knows if he can get it into you before the craving stops, it will probably be the only thing of substance you'll eat & keep down that week.

...you get sick during your session on the GD diet because of all the talk about food (this was today...ugh!)

[amytie48]

...the birthing book is your favorite story because the baby comes out.

[slterwil]

...when your one year old brings you your puke can any time you cough or sneeze and then tries to take it just as you really need it to imitate you puking into it

...when your husband already knows your answer to the question "What do you want to do today?"--Not throw up!

...you feel like it's a cause for celebration when you can go into a grocery store and make it out without gagging, dry heaving, or puking

...when changing your underwear and shorts is suddenly an incredibly difficult task requiring great thought so that you don't tangle the line for your sub Q zofran pump in them.

...when you have puke cans handy for when you're lower end is actually using the toilet.

...when you try to dilute your stomach acid before the puking starts so that you might not get as bad a sore throat.

...when you are actually okay with the thought of another IV blowing because at least then you can take it out and get a shower and blow dry in before the home health nurses come to stick you with a new one.

...when you don't talk about how long it took you to lose the pregnancy weight, but rather how long it took you to gain back the weight you lost to get back to your pre-pregnancy weight after the delivery.

...when you plot driving routes with the amount of curves, road humps and pot holes you need to avoid in mind.

Thanks for this list ladies...it's made me laugh and cry. Boy does this list put it in perspective.

[silverdollareucalyptus]

I am so thankful I found this board. It feels like the only place I don't feel alone. Currently 12 weeks along with my third child, second hyperemesis pregnancy.

the above were great...so nice to laugh after so long!

you know you have hyperemesis when:

1) when you ask your ob for a zofran IV pump, and she hesitates because of the risk of blood clots leading to death, you actually think that is a good idea

2) you stumble into the pharmacy and the pharmacist out of pity for the sheer sight of you gives you two zofran tablets even though the prescription was for the dissolving kind and you cannot tolerate those

3) same pharmacist asks you over the phone several weeks later if you are pregnant again (remembers your pregnancy from 4 years ago) and says "you gotta stop doing that"

4) you have been completely bedridden and the day that you are finally able to pick up your son from school, all the neighborhood moms cheer as you come, like you are some kind of celebrity

5) your 7 year old son is glad that he is a boy because he is saved from being pregnant and sick

6) your family saves disposable water bottles for you to use as spit bottles

7) you are too sick to talk on the phone and your husband has to convey to your family how you are doing because talking just makes your nausea worse

you would rather go through several labors than the horrors of hg

9) you pray for the er doctor who gave you a remedy (zofran paired with benadryl) that gave you some relief

10) in your head, you come up with so many similitudes to describe to non hg sufferers what it feels like to have hg

11) you develop tmj pain from chewing gum, but continue to do so because it helps some with the nausea and ptyalism

12) your heart aches for anyone who is suffering pain in the world

13) you think your husband is a saint for how he has stepped up and taken care of the kids and you

[silverdollareucalyptus]

just thought of one more:

11) the rare times you are able to watch tv, your favorite show is "i didn't know i was pregnant" and you fantasize about that being the case with you

[crunchymama]

just thought of one more:

11) the rare times you are able to watch tv, your favorite show is "i didn't know i was pregnant" and you fantasize about that being the case with you

LOL! I just did that the other day.

[nymbis]

*you fall asleep resting your head on the toilet seat or with a bucket full or spew in your arms

*you have this unrelenting need to punch anyone who mentions ginger

*DH has to walk over you in the hall because you fell asleep in the middle of the floor rather then expend the energy making it back from the toilet

*when people ask when is the baby due you say “not soon enough”

*when you can either retch or spew mid sentence and carry on what you where saying without missing a beat

*when you can not walk five steps without having a retch/spew/spit

*when spewing blood is no longer a cause for panic or alarm

*when the thought of ever becoming pregnant again makes you spew or have a panic attack

*when the OBGYN/ER nurses or doctors say oh you will forget all about this and be back here again with another pregnancy you think I will show you....!!!!!

[nymbis]

Oh and two more:

*your pregnancy farts, due to being so constipated from zofran, and the smell of bile just become part of your natural aroma

*you can no longer remember what it was like to wake up and have a whole day where you do not feel nauseas or vomit or have to take antiemetics to function

[hirschytunes]

when you find yourself jealous of other peoples veins... since all of ours have been poked out of existence.

[bird]

- when you learn black bile just means it's the freshest.

[slterwil]

when you find yourself jealous of other peoples veins... since all of ours have been poked out of existence.

I did this last night! I was watching Troy and there is a scene where Achilles' veins in his arms look like licorice ropes they're so huge. The scene was Brad Pitt in bed with a woman and there I was coveting his veins! Man has HG warped me...lol