Your Story of Hope...

[Proudmama]

Ladies,
I have been thinking of a way to allow new ladies to easily read our stories of hope without looking through numerous posts to find them. Please post your story in this announcement folder. It will be a "one stop shop" of sorts.

[Proudmama]

Hello everyone,
I wanted to share my story of HG and other issues with you all so here goes...

After trying a short time to get pregnant, my husband and I were overjoyed with the news that we were expecting a beautiful little one. We were so excited. At four weeks, we shared our news with our immediate families. They were so excited. This would be both sides first grandchild. Since we live several hours and states away from any family, we hoped we could keep the news from extended family at least for a couple of months. At six weeks, I began feeling very ill. I could not stop vomiting. My husband and I just thought it was "normal" morning sickness. I talked with my mom (over the phone) and she said it was normal. If I would not think about it then I would feel better. In other words, "it was all in my head". After a couple of weeks, I called my OBGYN. The so called nurse said that I needed new vitamins. I tried to tell her that they would not stay down but she just insisted it was the vitamins. I proceeded to try these new vitamins. Nothing... A couple more weeks went by and I was loosing weight. I could not eat or drink (no ice chips either). My husband tried everything. He went to the store almost everyday to find me something I might be able to eat. Still, nothing worked. After several more phone calls to the Doctors office (only the nurse would talk with me), and trip to the ER for IV Fluids (only to have 2 liters of saline solution and an ER Doctor that said it was just morning sickness), my regular OBGYN appointment finally arrived. (By now, my parents know this was not normal). Now, you would think that my OBGYN would know that I (and my husband) had been calling her office. But no...she proceeded to "yell" at me for not calling her sooner. She said, "You look awful. You are green." I said that I had called her, at least 12 times in the past few weeks. The nurse said I could not talk with her. My OBGYN appeared very upset and left the room. She came back in after talking to the nurse in the hallway, and told me to start Zofran immediately. I did. After losing almost 15 pounds in just a few weeks, the Zofran worked. I felt better. I could now walk in my house without heading straight to the bathroom. I could actually leave my house to try going to the store. Before the Zofran, all I could do was go to work (no smells) and go home and sleep. At about 16 weeks, I was feeling better.
You would think that this would be it, no. My next Doctors appointment, the so called "nurse" ran the screens for birth defects early. This caused my results to read a false positive. My husband and I worried for a couple of weeks about our baby. Finally, we get a call saying that the "nurse" messed up. We would have to run the tests again. She misread my chart. We retested and thankfully, everything was fine. I was so upset. Needless to say, that was the last time the nurse worked with me. (I later learned that she had been let go). I guess that I was not the only one she had messed up with.
Anyway, baby time arrived. My mom and dad had been out visiting a couple of weeks before my due date. My mom decided to stay an extra week because she felt that I would deliver within the week. She said that you are going to have a large baby. She was right. I was so glad she stayed. A couple of days later, I went into labor. My regular OBGYN was not going to be there but one of the other Doctors would deliver my baby. After nearly 24 hours (3 hours of pushing), the Doctor said she would have to try to deliver my baby with a vacuum since the head appeared to be stuck. She had to do a double episiotomy to use the vacuum. This did not work, she needed to use the forceps. She tried and tried. She said one last try and we were heading for an emergency c-section. I did not want that so I pushed. This caused me to tear. I ended up with a third degree tear. My 9lb 6oz. baby boy was born. He was the largest baby born that night (including scheduled c-sections). The Doctor said she would have done a c-section if she would have known how large my baby was going to be (he was two weeks early). My regular doctor did not seem concerned that my baby was large. My husband and I were so happy to have our healthy son.
Still, my issues were not finished. Not only could I not nurse by son, due to lack of milk, but I was so sore I could not move. At my six week checkup, my doctor would not even discuss my nursing issue. (I went to a lactation consultant. She was surprised with my problem and told me to see my doctor. I tried everything but my doctor would not see me. I could only give my son 1 oz of milk with each feeding. I was so upset.) What my doctor did do was perform a third episiotomy because of the way I healed. I was sore for another few weeks. Around 12 weeks after giving birth, I was having bladder control problems. I went to see my Doctor and she said it was just normal. One year and a half later, I am still having these problems. I finally went to a Urologist/OB and he finally told me the cause. By having such a large baby (compared to my smaller size), my bladder muscles have weakened. My bladder is lower than it should be. I am now on medication.
Needless to say, I have since changed OBGYNs. I will be going to my first appointment with my new Doctor next month. My husband and I spoke with him about my HG and he believes in it and is willing to actively treat it, should it rear its ugly head again.
Regardless of what I went through, I am so thankful for my handsome baby boy. He is my world. I would go through it all again for him.
One side note, when I went to pick up my medical records from my old OBGYNs office, the ER information was there. It stated HG for the cause of my visit. Image that, HG but no one tells my husband or myself. We just were told "normal" morning sickness.
-----
Baby #2
DH and I decided to try for a second baby. This time, we found a new Doctor through numerous phone calls and an interview. My new Doctor told me that he has dealt with other HGers in the past and would actively treat me if I develop HG once again. He also wrote me a script for Zofran right then and there. Well, once again, within a very short time, I was pregnant. I called my OB, who was very surprised that I was pregnant so quickly, to set up an appointment. He actually called me personally to make sure that I was not sick yet. He told me that at the first sign of vomiting, call at once. It only took few weeks to start to get sick. I was miserable. I began to vomit uncontrollably. I already had plans in place (thanks to this website) to have my dad bring my mom out to help with my DS if I were to get sick again. Well, I called my parents and out mom came to help. I ended up in the ER for the first time around 7 weeks pregnant. My OB was very upset that I did not call him first and the ER did not send my report to the office. After the first pregnancy, I was very skeptical of actually calling my new Doctor. I was extremely dehydrated and my weight had already began to plummet. The next day, I called my Doctors office and he moved my first appointment up. Upon my checkup, he wanted me in the next week for a weight check. I did not make it a week as I landed back in the hospital. I had lost over 15 lbs in about 9 weeks time. My Doctor immediately set up Home Health Care nurses to tend to me. I tried oral Reglan, oral Zofran and numerous other stuff but nothing worked. My Home Health Care nurses put me on a Reglan pump but that did not help. Upon their request, my Doctor called my insurance company and demanded that I be placed on a Zofran pump. It help a little but it was combined with oral Reglan. My weight continued to plummet. My Home Health Care nurses tried to get my Doctor to send me to a High Risk OB and to start steroid treatment and place a PICC line in me. My OB decided that he did not want to go that route as he had a patient in the past with HG that he did this and she nearly died due to complications. He instead placed me back in the hospital for more IVs for a few days. I was down nearly 30 lbs before I started to feel a bit of relief. My Doctor decided to pull my nurses (of which I was opposed). At my next visit, I continued with oral Zofran but was not feeling well once again. I told my Doctor that I was very nauseous but he said that was normal in the second trimester. Once again, a few days later, I was back in the hospital for more IVs. By the third trimester, I was in a full relapse. I had lost 6 lbs in just one weeks time. My Doctor treated a feeding tube my weight continued to drop. I was back in the hospital for IVs. When I was released, I still was unable to eat much of anything. Thankfully, my weight held steady but contractions started early. I went to the hospital and got more IVs. My next appointment, concern turned to my BP. It was very high and the nurse rushed to get the OB. He suggested I take it easy. My next appointment, my BP was even higher and I was told stop work immediately and go on bed rest. The next night, my water broke and my DD was born. She was 3 weeks early but healthy and a lot smaller than her big brother, weighing in at 6lbs 10.5oz. I had one last vomit after she was born and then I was HG free. I weighed less after she was born than I did when I became pregnant but she was worth everything. I would not change a thing. I am blessed to have my two beautiful babies.

[carla]

HI,

I am not sure if you would like to use my story, but it goes a little like this.

I have always wanted to be a mom. I always loved children and knew that they were an important part of my life. I am a teacher, and I can't express to you how much I love my job. 2 years ago I became pregnant with our first child. My dh and I were absolutely thrilled. I knew that I would get nausea and vomiting, due to the fact that both my mom and sister were ill. My mom weighed the same amount when she went in to deliver, as she did before she was pregnant. I didn't realize how ill I would be. There was no hiding the illness. I couldn't even hold up my head. I vomited uncontrollably, bursting blood vessels in my eyes, nose and back of my throat. The nausea was horrific. The awful smells prevented me from leaving the house and that terrible over salivation. It dehydrated my even more. I had many, many trips to the hospital. Nothing seemed to help. No one knew what to do, and no one knew why I was SO ill. I had never heard of HG nor did any doc ever tell me that this is what I had. My OB basically told me that I wouldn’t die, and it was basically a mental thing. I lost 27 pounds and felt totally defeated. I turned into a ghostly shell. After 4 months I lost the baby. I was just so relieved that the illness was over. No more trips to the hospital. I could resume my normal life. My dh and I decided that we would remain childless. I would have all the lovely children that I taught. What more did I need. There was a great sadness on both sides of the family, especially my dh's mom, who was a former maternity nurse.

After a while, I found the HER website. I started to research. I wrote BC Women’s Hospital and went in for an information session. I spent many hours thinking about HG, and I finally understood why I was ill. I also found others who were like me. I was not a freak, nor making it up in my mind, after all. I found a new OB, who was supportive. I developed a protocol, and prepared family and friends with info booklets. The maternal instinct took over and my dh and I tried again to make it through a pregnancy.

It happened very fast. I became ill very quickly! This time around, I was ready. I knew what I needed. My dh became my advocate. I was not able to hold up my head, or get off the bathroom floor for many months. I was off work for 6 months on a sick leave. I had all the horrible symptoms that I did before. This time when I went to the DR. he asked me what I needed, and I gave him my protocol.. Zofran helped me get through the worst times. Along with gravol, and many other meds. More importantly though, the ladies on the forum knew and understood what was going on. Most importantly, my dh became a saint. He would wash out my disgusting spit buckets, cook his food on the BBQ outside in the middle of the Canadian winter, and hold my head when I puked. He helped me live. He helped me survive. I developed SPD which is a separation in my pelvis. The HG lasted the full 9 months. I was vomiting and pushing on the delivery table. I was induced a day after my 40th week. The Dr. discovered protein my urine and I was swelling like a balloon. I also had calcification on my placenta that was discovered on week 31. On March 30th, 2006 I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. I had 20 hours of labor. She definitely was not ready to come. She was very far up. I had 2 epidurals that didn't take and ended up with numerous holes in my spine. The blood refused to clot in the holes and the spinal fluid was leaking in and out of the holes. I started to get spinal headaches. I had second degree tearing and an episiotomy, many stitches and a forceps delivery. Nothing compared to the nausea I experienced for 9 months. Gracee River Garrett was born weighing in at a healthy 7 pounds 11 ounces. My dh is absolutely smitten, and I am over the moon. I cry a lot, when I think of how lucky I am. I love every minute with her. I posted her birth story under the birth announcements.

I had a friend tell me;
when you lose a baby the spirit lives on, until you try again. The same spirit comes through each time, until it manages to get through into our world. This helped me realize that perhaps I didn't lose my baby after all the first time. She is here with me today. It just took her a little while to join us.

Well, that is the rough version. I can give you more details if you like.


Thanks,

Carla

[missuniversal]

I had already posted my story in the "stories of hope" forum, but I wanted it to also be here with the others. Here it is.....

I wanted to be a mom for as long as I can remember, maybe longer. So when I found out I was pregnant, I didn’t expect morning sickness to bother me, as ecstatic as I was. But as early as 5 weeks the sickness came on hard and strong and there was nothing gradual about it. It was as if one day I woke up and couldn’t stop my body from rejecting everything I put inside it. I couldn’t hold anything down, not tea, Gatorade, soup, crackers, not even water.
My fiancé and I made numerous trips to the emergency room because of how sick I had become, and each time we were sent away with another “home remedyâ€Â

[RebeccaM]

Here is my Story of Hope:

When I found out I was pregnant for the first time I had only been married for 1 month. I was nervous but excited. The sickness hit and even though I didn't feel well I was still excited, assuming it must be typical morning sickness. Then it didn't go away. And it got worse. Much worse. 24 hours of relentess nausea and vomitting everything, including water. It just didn't seem normal anymore. Come to find out, it wasn't. It took my whole pregnancy to really understand how sick I was.

I went into my 2nd pregnancy armed with Zofran, the HER website and forums, and a determination to start treatment early and avoid the downward spiral that HG can be. What a difference it made for me! I was still constantly nauseas and it was miserable, but armed with better knowlege and good treatment protocol I was able to control the vomitting and dehydration cycles SO much better!

I feel long-term physical and emotional effects from Hyperemesis pregnancies nearly every day of my life. But more noticably, every day I experience joy and laughter through the results of my pregnancies: My two amazing and beautiful children. I am so happy to have them in my life and I consider them to be my most precious gifts from God.

[BethersinMN]

I will update this with each pregnancy:

In 1995 and in my first marriage I became pregnant. I was married to a very abusive man. A man who cared more about drugs and alcohol then the fact that his own wife was vomitting uncontrolablly. I became sick at 9 weeks and my own dr. acted like "I was carrying an alien and that he had never had anyone so sick". I felt like I had no control over what was happening to me. I thank God I still had my mom with me. I would call her and ask her how many more days mom. I wanted to die. My husband would tell me I was a bullemic anorexic and doing this to myself. Many times I would drive myself to the hospital or call a cab. 30 trips to Urgent Care and 40 trips to the hospital and my beautiful son who is 11 now was born on Jan 9, 1996.

I got out of my bad marriage and remarried a wonderful man whom I have always referred to as my angel. My mom got to know and love him. Sadly, she died in her sleep 6 months before I was to marry my angel. I took custody of my sister who has downs syndrowme and is the light of our lifes. My dh is so good with my son and my sister.

Second Pregnancy: We tried for our first baby and sadly lost it on my dh and sister's birthday at 5 weeks May 2004.

Third Pregnancy: I had very bad OB care. It was thought that either something was very wrong or I had intestional blockage. I couldn't even swallow soup and the dr's were not taking me seriously. At 12 weeks sadly I had to end my pregnancy November 2004. HG started at 7 weeks and was bad but manageable with homecare.

Fourth Pregnancy: Much more manageable and started home care at the first signs of anything wrong at 7 weeks. I would have made it too, had my dr not taken me off my zoloft cold turkey. Another bad ob again!! I went into withdrawal and vomitted a whole week no food or water. Sadly, at 14 weeks I had to end it. To this day, I have not received a return call from my OB when I called for help.

We are trying again in November..... It has been a real awakening for me, I have learned the people that support me and love me and truly care about me and my future baby and that will be there for me and the ones who won't. I am very strong though. I just have to remember everything I have been through and I have come to learn to depend on no one but myself. I am my own strength.

My biggest message of hope to anyone would be to believe in yourself. You are the only one who knows what you can handle and what you can't. Also to remember what we suffer with HG will be nothing to the reward we will receive in the end. HG is 9 months but our baby is our child forever. Yes, HG will suck but it is manageable and oh so worth it in the end.

With love,
Bethers

[IslandDreamer]

I never dared dream my oldest would have a sibling. After Hope died and I recovered from the severe HG, I decided that was it. No more. A 75% rate of m/c was sufficient and I wasn't up for higher percents. I was done with the pain and illness. One child was perfect, he IS perfect. But now we are blessed with two.

My story of hope after Hope is best summarized by this:

[mrsbigdog]

That pic really is worth a thousand words!

Donna

[*Mel*]

My first pregnancy was in 1999, I was sick at 4 weeks and my doctor looked at me like I had two heads, like I was making it up. I ended up going into the hospital at 6 weeks hooked to IV's and sending me home with Nausea medicine. I was sick with my son the whole 9 months. Back in 1999 , they didn't know what was causing it. They had just said Hormones because I am allergic to birth control pills its the ALL hormones in my body. I was in and out of the hospital 3 times with my son.

My second pregnancy was in 2001 and again I had the SAME exact thing happen. By this time, people were saying that my second pregnancy would be diffrent. My husband at the time was not supportive at all, he thought it was all in my head. My own mother even said it was in my head. They never told me what I had but by 7 months with my second son I had finally got over the sickness.

NOW i am on my Third pregnancy and I am only 8 weeks, I have already been in the hospital and on IV's for a week. I am now at home and I can't work. This time at least they have a name for what I have, and I now know that I am not Crazy. I started looking it up after I got out of the hospital and this forum has helped me so much. I pass it along to my friends and family that don't believe me when I say I am sick as I am.

I have since remarried and my new husband is so understanding , he hates seeing me this way. He waits on me 24/7. People think I am crazy after dealing with this twice, but it is worth it in the end. This is my last child I am having. As I get older , my body just can't handle it. But I want to say THANK YOU whom ever started this Forum as it has helped me alot.

[ekeith]

I just wanted to share my story with the hope that it would help calm at least one person's fears . . .

My first pregnancy was, quite frankly, completely uneventful. Typical morning sickness, kind of fatigued but not miserable, healthy baby, etc., etc. My dd was born April 2001 (she even got here on her exact due date), and all was right with the world.

Then I got pregnant with our second child in the summer of 2003. I was, of course, ecstatic. Then, it started. I can't remember exactly when I first realized, "This just isn't normal." I remember, as most of you I'm sure do as well, bawling with my head over the toilet. I remember having to crawl because I was too weak and nauseous to walk. I tried acupuncture, which worked for a short time. I tried many, many different meds, none of which worked except Zofran. After being on that for about 3 weeks though, I became so constipated (like I needed one more problem), that I had to go to the ER while out of town for a family wedding. I knew from experience that the pain I went through with that was as bad as natural childbirth. I finally found out that I could keep down small amounts of baby food at a time (Yuk!), and existed on that for quite some time. Thank God I was blessed with an understanding doctor and family. I would have gone nutty without them. Anyway, without getting into further details, since you all have a pretty good idea of what I went through anyway, I got through the pregnancy, and my doctor induced on the due date to get me out of my misery. Our 2nd dd was born in March of 2004.

In early 2007, my dh and I began to discuss another child. I was hopeful, but, quite honestly, terrified. I was sure if I got pregnant I would have to go through HG again, I wasn't sure I could handle it again. I desperately wanted another child, but desperately wanted to know I'd still be able to be a mom to my other 2 while I was pregnant, and I just didn't have that kind of guarantee. I made an appointment with my OB - the same one that I had through both my uneventful 1st pregnancy, and my miserable 2nd - to disuss my fears. She assured me that, although I still had a decenct chance of not having HG, my chances were better now of getting it the second time, and at the first sign of vomiting I'd be put on a pump and closely monitored. "We're not letting the horse get out of the barn this time," she told me. Small consolation, but at least it was something.

Anyway, I went on to get pregnant in January of this year. When the pregnancy test turned up positive, I was delighted, but a little struck by fear as well. I said a little prayer before I ever walked out of the bathroom, asking God to please spare me the HG this time around. I'm proud to report that, althought I've definitely been nauseous, it hasn't lasted much past noon on most days, and I've yet to vomit even once. I've already had 3 ultrasounds due to some bleeding (which they've said isn't a problem, just something my body's decided to do), and the baby is doing great. We were even able to tell in the last ultrasound that we're having son. I can't tell you how relieved I am that things have turned out so well so far. I've just recently started the second trimester, and only experience nausea once a week or so, and even then, it doesn't last longer than an hour or two.

So for those of you out there that have been through HG, have come out on the other side, and are now are as terrified to have more children as I was, please know that there's hope. HG isn't a foregone conclusion. Of course, I can't tell you it won't happen, but I also (thank goodness) can't say that it will. Maybe, hopefully, you'll be as lucky as I've been. All I know is I'm so glad I took the chance and can't wait to meet my son in October!

[tanyak]

I thought I had the flu . . but it was not that, I was pregnant. And looking back, having the flue for 10 months would have been alto easier. November 2005 I quit working the day I discovered I was pregnant, because I was so sick I could not work. I lost 25 pounds in 30 days and went between my bed at home and the bed in the hospital for the first 3 months of my pregnany. I spent my days throwing up, every 10-15 minutes. I kept nothing down for months, not even water. My doctors put me on Maxeraan & Diclectin, which didn't really help because I could not keep them down. When our radiant son Bauer Jack was born on July 4, 2006 (2 weeks early) all I could do was thank the Lord that my baby was SO perfect & healthy! I thought it was finally over . . but it took me a long time to start to feel normal again. Well, normal never really came back as we got pregnant with our second baby in Feb of 2007. This pregnancy was also hard . . but after I was put on the magical Zofran, everything changed. I didn't feel perfect, but I could function and look after Bauer. Easton William was born on Nov 4/2007 (3 weeks early) and he was also perfect! This past monday I had my gallbaldder taken out ,and I have passed about 10 kidney stones in the past two years . . next week I am going to the dentist to get 10 cavities filled . . all of this came from being pregnant and having hyperemesis. Easton is now 6 months old . . and only now can I look back and really sort trhough what the past 2 years were like and try to heal from the emotion struggle that they brought. My boys are my WORLD and it was worth it. I made it through the valleys and survived and now I'm looking forward to the journey of the future with my two beautiful boys! You can make it through . . and when you can't carry yoursekf through anymore you need to turn to the people around you to help you make it one hour at a time . . you will come through!![/img]

[mimi]

I have been meaning to post this for months....first of all, thanks so much for all the people who responded to my posts last fall ( Oct-Dec 2007) My daughter was so sick and a friend of my sisters recommended this forum. It was an answer to prayer. My daughter started taking 4 mg of the steroid methylprednisolone at 12 weeks. This was after losing 30 lbs. in a month and being hospitalized 3 times.I was so worried about her taking steroids but everyone that replied had good results.It was the difference between night and day.She was so much better in 24 hrs.She was able to resume her teaching job after Christmas vacation. She did have a slight relapse in Jan. but went back on steroids for 21 days and felt better even though she threw up every day until her precious baby girl was born. Carolina weighed 6lbs and was a day early.My daughter and her husband are so thankful that she is finally here and we all thank everyone at this site for their help and concern.

[Jenna's_Mommy]

With my first pregnancy, I had HG from 4 weeks-the entire pregnancy and for 6 days after I delivered. The 6 days after delivery were much better, only sick once or twice a day.

My first pregnancy was difficult, to put it lightly. I was on home care forever. Couldn't work at all the entire 9 months, I was throwing up so bad I was actually puking pieces of my stomach lining. AND no doctor would give me zofran....I ended up going into full liver failure. Had to be admitted to the hospital at 30 weeks, was threatened with an emergency c-section, while I was all alone. (dh was working, my mom was at home) They decided not to section me. I was in the hospital for an entire MONTH. I slowly developed pre-e, borderline HELLP syndrome and baby stopped growing, not to mention I had lost 43 lbs, gained 0 lbs. They decided to induce me at 36 weeks. I gave birth to the most beautiful, teeny baby girl. We named Jenevieve. She was 5lbs 8oz and worth every second of vomiting. My little miracle baby.

I am bitter when I think back at all I had to suffer through with DD. I would have given anything to be a "normal" pregnant woman. Doing prenatal classes, having baby showers, going baby shopping (other then online) just doing thinks most first time mothers get to experience. Nope, not me. I got to experience my bathroom floor for 9 months, a ridiculous number of blood tests, IVs, hospitalizations, 43 lb weight loss, and basically withered away right in front of my family.

I know there is no point being bitter about the past. I have a healthy child and I am lucky enough to be expecting baby #2 without any really stress over trying (I get pregnant really quickly. lol) but a little bit of me is still sad and mourns the loss of that "picture perfect" pregnancy. It was so tough because I was pregnant at the same time as 5 of my close friends and they were all "fluffy" "perfect, no sickness, no nothing" type of pregnant woman. You know, the type we all hate. lol

[Thisbattymom]

I have posted many times over the past about my experience & the emotional recovery process I've gone through. My story is not very different from everyone else here. You can read my 'history' by clicking my profile if you wish to but I am trying not to dwell on that part of my life. I just want to share encouragement for those of us who felt robbed by HG & terrified of the prospect of risking that again.

Life has been heavenly peaceful the past year since we bought our home & I accepted that I was never going to be pregnant again. I average 8 cycles a year, have medical conditions that reduce fertility while increasing miscarriage rates, and my child has multiple medical complications we had agreed we didn't want to risk another child... I had accepted infertility, my fear of HG was gone, I was busy living 'life with a teen'.

I was anxious but excited when I felt that 'twinge' in my uterus a couple weeks ago. This was one of the few times I had felt it and not been scared or torn between hope & fear. I actually was eager to test & did so on 9/3... and got a (-). I was a little bummed, thought I must have mistaken PMS, and tried to get on with my new hobbies (taking classes in gardening through the cooperative extension services' Master Gardener program, studying beekeeping for the hive I hoped to get in the spring, and promoting urban poultry so someday I can have a few hens).

I retested on 9/11 & was astounded when a pink (+) showed up. Really??? A baby *NOW*??? I woke my husband up & marveled together over our prospects. Can we do this? How will our daughter feel? What about our friends/family? So many of them remember what I went through last time. So many of my friends/family have been sharing their infertility journey... only a few knowing my internal battle. How can I share this with them?

Anyway, long story short (I am only 4-5 weeks in right now)... the only discomfort I have experienced so far has been the twinges of implantation & early stretching, a mild craving for sauerkraut, and normal pregnancy worry. No nausea, only mild acid. I do have a prescription of Zofran waiting on the counter 'just in case'... but I am praying not to need it.

I have found a strength of faith I didn't have last time. It has given me a peace that I can deal with this no matter how it turns out; normal 'fluffy?', HG, or even miscarried. Getting pregnant was in His control, the rest of this pregnancy is too.

[liberty_rose]

3 years after the birth of my daughter, as the post-partum depression has been lifting, my father-in-law, started treating me like crap.

I called him on it, and he and my mother-in-law both let me know that after all the pain our family went through, they were now going to treat me the way they felt they were treated and I had to suck it up and deal with it. That they refused to talk about it, no counseling or talks or emails were going to happen, and that was that.

This happened two days ago, during a bout of severe dizzyness and mild nausea I experienced. It left me in their home with my three year old, completely dependent on their care for 4 days (nowhere else to go) while I waited to see a cardiologist.

Their son and I are divorcing. I am a part time student with a project due in one class and a paper due in the other, plus a big exam on Wednesday. My father-in-law's father, at 95, wants to move from TX to CA to be closer to us and has dementia, so tons of stressful stuff going on.

I held my opinion back for 24 hours, got through Halloween and got home, and then let my MIL know that I was going to speak my mind whether or not she wanted to hear it. That my behavior during the pg and the PPD were not something I could control, that I refused to be punished for it, that if FIL wanted to be angry he would have to deal with it and we would arrange some kind of visitation with DD, but I won't tolerate being held accountable for his lack of ability to cope or expose myself and my daughter to that kind of treatment.

MIL said we shouldn't talk about it in front of DD. I said I refuse to have her grow up thinking it's ok to be treated that way, that people who love each other need to work things out and I don't ever want her to think everything is always ok, then someday be blindsided if someone gets angry.

She said she would let my FIL know what I said.

This afternoon, he called me, sounding calm and good, and apologized for his behavior. Said he is done being angry and that he is available to talk anytime. I had tears in my eyes. I told him thank you, and we would talk when they bring DD home from their visit with me.

And by the way, new meds are working and I am less dizzy.

[mimihyun]

I just posted on my blog about my first HG pregnancy & birth story. I'm expecting no. 2 in January!

www.prisonerinmyownbody.wordpress.com

[SheWolf]

I am waiting for every good thing to happen. I hope for the best!