I quit

[dawnypie]

I am so done with this pregnancy. This is my 26th week and although I am better than before I am scared I am relapsing and I just had my PICC pulled. I thought things were going great and I enjoy the freedom of taking showers and moving around without being hooked up to fluids and my zofran pump, but I am now having boughts of nausea and vomitting again. This can't be happening again. I want it over. I am done. There will never be another baby for me and I want it over now.

[krsweetpea]

My first pregnancy, I most likely had undiagnosed hg. It was miserable and I had no treatment- it was mild and decreased greatly around 25 weeks, but it was not a normal pregnancy. However after a fast and furious natural labor, I held my 8lb 3 oz, 21in son and I didn't feel sick! He was(is) precious and I could enjoy food again!

I thought for a while I could never do it again. But my husband and I really didn't want ds to be an only child. So shortly before his second birthday, we started ttc. I had a positive pregnancy test October 31... I took several more... By 5 weeks I felt nausea starting so I told my pastor and his wife( my husband and I lead worship) and went to the dr for a confirmation test. ... The nurse said I had bright pink lights. We told our church the Sunday after I hit 6 weeks because I was starting to dry heave in addition to the nausea. We drove to Seattle to the zoo for ds bday. I felt pretty gross, but did enjoy the day. Things of course went down hill from there... I really have just begun to see actual improvement around 27 weeks. I'm now 29 weeks.

I still have days that I wonder what the heck I was thinking to go through this again. I have moments I resent the baby. BUT it is worth it in the end. We suffer tremendously, but we do get a precious gift!

Perhaps, you need to go for fluids... It always makes me depressed and anxious when I am dehydrated. I know how hard it is to go in, but stabilizing will help you have strength!

Another thing that helps me is to look at what is developing on baby. I think bad days and weeks are quite possibly related to the hormonal surges related to development. It helps me because it feels more like there is a purpose.

Look how far you have come! 26 weeks!!! Only a little bit and you will be in the home stretch! You are much, much stronger and braver than you feel! Hang in there, get fluids if you need them, and you will make it through this rough patch! You will!!! Big hugs!

[dawnypie]

Thanks for the encouragement. I try to think of just holding my baby in my arms and everything working out and being worth it all in the end. But I get very discouraged. I threw up in the home depot parking lot today. I am not dehydrated, my ketones are negative. I unfortunately have horrible depression and anxiety with my pregnancy. It has been rough and I will never do it again. I am doing a little better right now. I have the glucose tolerance test coming up on Tuesday and I know that is what is triggering my anxiety and depression but I don't know why the vomiting and nausea have returned. I thought I was over it and I never want to go back. I'm trying to hold on but it is so hard. Thanks for letting me vent. I am trying to stay out that mental dark place, and trying to not be confined to my bed again.

[krsweetpea]

Oh my, I do not have anxiety, but was super anxious about my glucose test! You do have options like trying *foodment jelly beans end foodment* . Another option is to have your finger pricked for blood sugars for a bit. And you can decline the test, though there are reasons to take it... If you are having a bad day sickness wise on test day, ask if you can come do it another day.

It is great that you got out of the house! I'm so sorry about you vomiting though:( I know how awful it is to throw-up when out and about. With my first pregnancy, dh and I decided to go to the zoo and I got sick in the busy parking garage. So awful!

Unfortunately, I find the nausea stays with me always. Vomiting is a totally random thing now that I am further along and still taking zofran. It sucks, but I think it is part of hg:/

Do you know baby's sex? What do you look forward to after baby?

Keep up the good work! You are already a great mom working so hard to take care of baby before birth!!!

[daisyfairside2012]

I've said the same before... with my first HG baby... then my second. But I'm truly committed to this third being the last, lol!!!

Hang in there, I KNOW all too well how hard it is. I had HG and gestational diabetes with my first. With the second, I had HG, placenta previa, herniated (due to the constant sickness), and followed all of that up with a c-section. This time around, HG and gestational diabetes is seeming fairly likely this pregnancy. The GREAT news is, it's all finite, and you will come out of this with a fantastic reward (though it is sooo hard to bond with baby while HGing - I'm even having troubles this time around with that issue).

I'm assuming you've already switched up your meds? My present OB is discussing a change in my meds next week, and she explained sometiems one builds up a resistance to Zofran over time and a change in meds can make all the difference.

Best of luck to you and try sooo very hard to focus on the end result. You can do this!!!

[LittleCathy05]

I'm with you. After this baby the "baby making factory" will be officially closed. So over it, I'm never doing this ever again. Ever. Not even if someone paid me a gazillion dollars.

[Rosebud16]

I had my PICC removed two days ago and im already thinking there is going to have to be another one placed. I am also having trouble now sticking my belly for my pump. You would think that would be an easy part but im having anxiety about it. I had one good shower without being hooked up to anything which made me feel so much better but now just having anxiety about the day that i need to go get fluids (since i cant do it myself with my picc anymore) and they have to stick me 5 times. Ya i thought being tube free would make things better and now im having horrible anxiety about it all comming back.
HG just freakin sucks!!!!!

[Alwayshappy39]

Rosebud, I completely understand how you feel. I was soo excited to remove my Zofran pump! The 1st day I was great but, when the nausea came back "I panicked!" I have been without my pump for 7 days now and it has been a bumpy ride. I am not vomiting but, the waves of nausea can bring me to my knees. Unfortunately, oral Zofran doesnt work for my nausea and I am allergic to Phenergan And Reglan. So, I stop moving and pray it is just a wave and that it will eventually subside and not get worse. I have been lucky so far but, my food adversions have gotten worse and I am worried my weight will plummet again. I have an appointment with a new doctor tomorrow and I am hoping he will have some ideas to help me out. As far as the pump goes. Are you numbing the area with ice before you inject the needle? I found that really helped with the discomfort and anxiety that goes along with sticking ourselves with needles. I hope things start to look up for you. When are you due?

[Rosebud16]

Alwayshappy,
Im due october 16. And ya i took myself off the pump after i got my picc pulled. It was very easy to hook up to my picc line, but now im just so anxious about not having the picc that i am scared to hook up the pump back to my belly. I cant say luckly but my DH is type 1 diabetic and he gives himself shots 4-6 times a day so he is really good at sticking me. Im just done with it all. Also ince i got my picc taken out (which was way to early in my opinion) my skin around where my dressing was in blistered and im scared its infected. HGers just NEVER get a break!!! If its not one thing its another. I seem to be doing okay on the 32mg of oral zofran nd reglan... But im just waiting for the relapse and it will stop working. I guess i can sayni have ran out of hope with feeling better and being a fluffy pregnant women!!

[Alwayshappy39]

Rosebud, I am with you girl! I don't have much hope of a fluffy pregnancy but, I just want to feel good enough to be able to take a shower, get in the car and go to the store without worrying about getting sick or having an anxiety attack...Today has been a pretty rough day. I have been fighting panic attacks all day and that makes me more nauseas and unable to eat and then the vicious cycle starts again. I do keep all of you women in my thoughts and prayers daily but, sometimes I just get so overwhelmed it is all I can do to just get through another day. I was on Paxil for the last 5 years but, as soon as I found out I was pregnancy I was told to stop taking it and the rest is panic attack history. I am actually gonna ask the doc tomorrow if there is anything else I can take that is safe now that I am way into my second trimester. Somethings gotta give! I hope your arm redness clears up quickly. I haven't had a picc so, unfortunately I don't have much expertise on that subject. All my best

[sweetpea]

I'm currently on my 5th pg, although 2 of them didn't last past 5 weeks - although I was already throwing up constantly by that point. This pg wasn't exactly planned, but we lucked out (I guess) b/c it turned out to be a twofer. We're having twins, which makes the HG worse, but we do get two out of the miserable ordeal. I'm also getting my tubes tied after this, because we just can't go through it anymore - thankfully we'll have 4 bio kids out of it. Can't do this to myself or my family anymore, although I'm so glad I didn't stop after 1. We are foster parents and would LOVE to adopt to the system, so there are other ways to add to your family!