Hello everyone...things are getting worse

[susier]

Hi all. I'm sorry to say that I'm feeling pretty awful. I don't know if anyone else found the same pattern happened to them, but until this week I was just very, very nauseous, with good days and awful days mixed up.
Suddenly I am feeling as if I have a lump in my throat the whole time, like my jaw is really tense, and it makes me actually want to throw up, as if that would relieve something. I don't know why, perhaps just anxiety as I've not been getting on very well with DP lately, but it's like my gag reflex is suddenly way over sensitive, and this morning for the second time I was heaving when I cleared my throat.
This freaked me out as I am always scared of vomiting, and usually have extremely good control over it to the extent that I cannot be sick however bad I feel, but this was just out of the blue, I didn't even feel sick (for once!) just I had to sit by the toilet for an hour because I thought I was going to be.
I'm sorry if this sounds so lame to those of you who vomit all the time. I must seem like a real wimp, but for me I guess it's because I never do that it's so scary. I'm afraid if I start I won't be able to stop...once, years ago, I had dry heaves for an hour in the hospital, I just couldn't control it, until I was given maxalon IV. It hasn't happened since then but I'm so afraid it will again, I daren't eat anything today, have no appetite anyway, I just feel like I can't go on.
I'll be 12 weeks on Monday. I just want to jump out the window before it gets any worse. I have some maxalon liquid to take but it is vile and doesn't seem to help a lot. I just am so afraid to eat.
Sorry to vent.

Thanks for reading xx

[carla]

HI there, so sorry to hear that you are doing poorly. 12 weeks can be the roughest part for some of us. I am not sure about your jaw issues, but it sounds like you are experiencing anxiety over vomiting. Have you been vomiting much up to this point? Can you tell us a bit about yourself? Is this your first pregnancy? Have you had HG before?

[susier]

Hello, thankyou for your kind thoughts...I think you might be right about the anxiety. I haven't been vomiting up to now, though I have come close to it. I've just been feeling terrible and not been coping with DS very well, I can't cook or prepare food for him, I did lose weight at first and was in the ER for an IM injection of maxolon, but I had stemetil and cyclizine to take home and didn't need these desperately every day, so I guess I'm one of the lucky ones. I have put back the weight I lost and this too is a big blessing, it took much longer to last time with DS and I put on 10lb the entire pregnancy. I did have HG then but again it was the nausea sort and I didn't vomit. This time I think it has been worse. It stopped in the most part by 16 weeks last time, though it carried on a little. I hope it goes before then as I really just can't take it at the moment, DP is being so unsupportive as well and I get a lot of hassle from my mother about 'I told you so' for getting pregnant again - which was actually a slip up. Though I can't blame her and she does help out a lot.
Everyone wanted me to have an abortion but I couldn't, despite considering it partly due to feeling so sick.
Sometimes I just feel totally alone and this forum has really helped me. I want to thank everyone who has been supportive and kind.
It is good to know that this might be the worst phase, it certainly feels that way. I can't bear to think of food but if I leave it too long I feel so bad I have to force it down.
Oh God please make it stop!

[mmichelle]

I don't have magic words for you I just wanted to give you lots of hugs!

Meredith

[Natasha]

I am sorry you are feeling so bad. Hoping things get better for you soon.

[AmberWest]

My poor girl. You are NOT a wimp for having such a struggle right now. And considering that you've had HG before it's not hard to see why you would be having a large amount of anxiety over having it again. Even if it's not the vomiting sort as you put it, it's still down right miserable and feeling as if you were going to vomit every second is as difficult as the actual deed. I wouldn't be shocked either to know that your gag reflex is far more sensitive these days. I know mine is downright stupid on how bad it is. Sadly too, for some women latter pgs find the HG a bit worse than the one before. It would be a good idea in my view for you to talk to your dr. or midwife and perhaps try again some of the meds that you were on before, they may help more than they did last time.

Try not to worry too much about forcing down tons of food either. Keeping your hydration levels up is the most important thing. If you are able to nibble little bits now and then that's wonderful because that can help settle the tummy on occassion.

There is one ray of hope to cling to as well, if you found relief in your last pg the odds are very much in your favour that you will find yourself feeling a bit better at appx. the same time this pg. If you are 12 weeks now you're making great progress on getting to that similar time frame.