I can't help but cry as I write this.

The HER foundation contributed letters from our forums members for a show that featured Hyperemesis as a topic. The show aired in April of 2007.

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I can't help but cry as I write this.

Postby opal » Feb 25, 2007 4:25 am

The tears are streaming down my face and burning my eyes. I can barely see the computer moniter.

I've been trying to sleep now for hours, and I just can't. I needed to write something to you, the good people who are finally giving a voice to hyperemesis.

So many times I've had to try and describe to people what I've been through, and there's no easy way. It was so horrific. So spirit shattering. So important.

At seventeen I concieved my son.
My hyperemesis was the worst case that any of the specialists that saw me had seen.
I was hospitalized my entire pregnancy. I had to give up eating completely and was fed through TPN 24 hours a day.
At one point, my mother was taken aside and told to say goodbye to me and notify family members that I may not live until morning.

At seventeen years old, a picture of health and vibrancy, I was reduced to wearing adult diapers, using a wheelchair, my grandfathers walker and bedside comode and needing an electronic hospital bed to sit myself up to vomit.
It was torture.
My son was born premature (much to my relief) and healthy. Truly a miracle child.

After 5 years of recovering from my pregnancy, building my muscle back up and recovering from an over-eating disorder my partner and I decided we were ready to try and have another baby.
I was so sure in my heart that the second time around would different.
We concieved immediately and were thrilled.

Unfortunately, the hyperemesis returned, full force. This time, without the resources I'd had with my first pregnancy, I started to deteriorate faster, both on a physical level and emotional level.
After being hospitalized and told that there was nothing more they could do to try and alleviate my nausea and vomitting, I made the very difficult decision to terminate the pregnancy at 10 weeks.

Now, 5 months later, I am mourning the loss of my second baby and suffering with the reality that I can not have any more children of my own. It is hard to swallow, to say the least.

This is the most condensed, edited version of my story I can manage. I know whoever is reading this doesn't need to read through all the details, and my emotions are hijacking the coherant part of my brain. So I apologise if this isn't well written.

Please know, that by speaking out about hyperemesis you are healing a part of my soul that is breaking.
By reading this, and sharing the stories of other families who suffer with this illness, you give me hope.

Please, if I can contribute at all to the show, please contact me. If by email, phone or in person..I'm available to you for anything you need.
mommyopal@yahoo.ca

thank you
Opal Schumacher
HG survivor
~7 month hospitalization on TPN. First born healthy Feb 7 2001
~Severe HG second pregnancy, made it to 10 weeks.
~Third pregnancy was hit with HG. Less severe than in the past due to aggressive pre-emptive treatment and a good support system!
Yelqotkwe Ella Opal July 22nd 2010
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Postby Princesshood » Mar 02, 2007 4:46 pm

Opal~
So sorry for your loss. Congratulations on your baby.Thank you for your story.

:hugs: Sara
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Postby tatteredtoo » Mar 02, 2007 4:51 pm

Oh my goodness, Opal! I forgot to thank YOU as well in my thread in the Life forum! You already HAVE contributed to the show! Dr. Phil read your note that you sent to him live on the show at the taping!!
:hugs: You and your story have contributed to the better education and awareness of HG for women across the world already... you should be proud of yourself for your strength and endurance! I'm sure your little one is looking down at you with pride, too. Thanks for sharing your story, Opal. You are a shining star for so many of us.
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Postby Jenny » Mar 02, 2007 5:40 pm

YEP! I was just coming here to say the same thing!! Thanks Opal for your heart felt contribution, and make sure you watch the show!
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Postby opal » Mar 05, 2007 12:06 pm

Hooray!
I'm thrilled they're sharing my words.
Now I wish I'd been more coherent!
HG survivor
~7 month hospitalization on TPN. First born healthy Feb 7 2001
~Severe HG second pregnancy, made it to 10 weeks.
~Third pregnancy was hit with HG. Less severe than in the past due to aggressive pre-emptive treatment and a good support system!
Yelqotkwe Ella Opal July 22nd 2010
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opal
Been There Done That
 
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Joined: Sep 15, 2006 2:32 am
Location: Chase, BC Canada

Postby Cin » Mar 05, 2007 12:16 pm

I can't wait to meet you, Opal. Once I move south we BC ladies have to meet! Is Chase on the Island?
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Mom to Alex, 12 -- NVP
Isaac, 10 -- NVP
Naomi, 8 -- HG
Edward, 4 -- avoided clinical HG through aggressive pre-emptive treatment and pure luck (aka medicated fluffy)
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Postby opal » Mar 05, 2007 12:42 pm

Oooh! You're moving to BC? That's awesome!

nope, Chase is not on the island. It's in the interior. Between Kamloops and Salmon Arm (if that's any help). About 5 hours north of Vancouver.
HG survivor
~7 month hospitalization on TPN. First born healthy Feb 7 2001
~Severe HG second pregnancy, made it to 10 weeks.
~Third pregnancy was hit with HG. Less severe than in the past due to aggressive pre-emptive treatment and a good support system!
Yelqotkwe Ella Opal July 22nd 2010
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opal
Been There Done That
 
Posts: 117
Joined: Sep 15, 2006 2:32 am
Location: Chase, BC Canada

Postby carla » Mar 07, 2007 12:59 am

(OPAL)

I think of you often. I am so glad that dr.phil read your letter. It was very well written and really brought the horror of HG to light. How have you been holding up lately? :hugs:
Severe HG with DD (Gracee) 30/03/2006
Severe HG with DD (Amara) 01/04/2008
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Postby bibliojo » Mar 07, 2007 1:05 am

I think of you often too Opal. Your story continues to break my heart. :hugs:
2 HG pregnancies
Lukas - February 2003
Katya - October 2006

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Postby JourneyOfHope » Mar 10, 2007 12:46 pm

Hello. I cannot express enough how much I feel for you. I have lost 3 babies to HG. I understand the severity as I too was THAT severe. I knew I was going to die... but kept trying. I did not get to enjoy the success of even one pregnancy. Nobody even thought of feeding me by line or getting nutrients into me as I was told the baby will take what it needs to be okay... as I was slowly dying. Now I have vowed to fight. I am the one conducting the run and fundraising dinner in Burlington, Ontario on June 30th. I will run and walk for 6 days straight for 10 hours each day to raise money.
I'm striving to raise as much as I can because I hate the thought of some other woman facing the horrific daily life that we've all had to endure and being told she doesn't want her children becaue she's forced to decide life or death.
I want to ask if you would consider allowing me to read your letter as I feel it truly shows how severe the illness can be.. there are no words. I would read my own, but can't get past the first few sentences. I thought maybe I would be able to distance myself a little if I could read someone else's story that truly shows the life altering truth of the illness. Even just a small excerpt. Please think about it and let me know. I will completely understand if you do not want me to do that as I have an extremely hard time with my own. But are all together and maybe we have been given these experiences to fight so others maybe don't have to fight so hard later on. We truly can make a difference.
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Postby carla » Mar 10, 2007 7:52 pm

wow!

Can you please tell us more about your fundraising walk/run. I am very interested
Severe HG with DD (Gracee) 30/03/2006
Severe HG with DD (Amara) 01/04/2008
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Postby JourneyOfHope » Mar 10, 2007 8:40 pm

Of course! :D During my last attempt, I was lying in a hospital bed that had a window facing out onto a path in front of Lake Ontario. And everyday I would watch people (in between wretching.. needles.. being poked and prodded.. you know the drill). And I prayed that someday I would be out there again. I prayed that I would get to feel the way that felt. I realised I'd almost forgotten what it felt like to be well. I told myself that if I ever got better I would live my life the way I wanted to live it. And do all the things I had always wanted to do.. no more taking each day for granted. I would show the people in my life that I love them everyday, I would try to right any wrongs I had done, and I would appreciate this wonderful place we live in.. and I would never ever ever take my health for granted again. So for the last two years, I guess I've just been trying to heal. And then I realised that maybe this experience was given to me because I have the ability to do something about it. We all do. Maybe we weren't chosen because we are unlucky, but because we are strong.
I'd call it a run, but I would be lying. I couldn't possibly run for 10 hours straight a day. I'd be setting myself up to fail. But I can WALK for 10 hours a day for 6 days. Even if my feet fall off it doesn't compare to any day with HG. I'm no longer ill..I just think that maybe if they see that we are fighting this hard, they'll pay attention. I have never been athletic in my life.. AT ALL! But people/media seem to pay more attention when someone does something out of the ordinary. I am obligated to stand up and fight for other women and families going through the same excruciating pain we all have had to face. And my best friend, my sister and mother and father.. they saw me fight.
Wheew.. sorry.. I've never been so passionate about anything in my life. I didn't even know I had this fire inside of me. I guess what you really want to know is specifics.
The walk will last for 6 days. 50kms (25 miles) per day for the first 5 days, and about 30 kms (15 miles) on the last. We have been spreading the word to media for news coverage to film our arrival at Sick Kids hospital. That will happen on the 29th.
Then I'll sleep... quite soundly I'm sure. And the next day it's celebration time! Each ticket is $40 and around $20 dollars from each ticket sold will go directly to HG research. I have all the details firmed up now and am currently making proper invites which I will post. Friends, family, friends of family... whomever wants to come is more than welcome. I have negotiated a rate with the hotel for those who wish to travel. Please send me your addresses and/or e-mail so I can send out proper details to you. At least then you can make an informed decision if you would like to be there. I want so badly to meet all these wonderful people that have all been through the same heartache as I have been. And I think it will help us all feel more united to be together even just for one day. Maybe it will make us stronger when we have to go back to our regular lives. So far there's been a few responses from HG sufferers and their families... regardless of how many of us are there.. there will be about 100 tickets sold, and artwork as well so research dollars will still be raised. Even if you haven't decided, send me your contact info so I can email you the real invitation package even if you read it out of curiosity sake.
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Postby opal » Mar 13, 2007 1:48 am

JourneyOfHope wrote:
I want to ask if you would consider allowing me to read your letter as I feel it truly shows how severe the illness can be.. there are no words. I would read my own, but can't get past the first few sentences. I thought maybe I would be able to distance myself a little if I could read someone else's story that truly shows the life altering truth of the illness. Even just a small excerpt. Please think about it and let me know. I will completely understand if you do not want me to do that as I have an extremely hard time with my own. But are all together and maybe we have been given these experiences to fight so others maybe don't have to fight so hard later on. We truly can make a difference.

I would be honored if you read my story. Please help yourself to as much of my written experience as you'd like. I have most of my postings in the grief forum, you can read anything I've at all I've posted here on the forum.
Dr.Phil also read this letter on his show. I'm really hoping it makes the final edit.

Your walk sounds amazing! I wish I could participate with you. If I had a ticket to Ontario, I'd be there in a heartbeat. Best of luck and please keep us updated on how it goes.
Reading your story just now has been very inspirational for me. My last pregnancy is was back in the fall, and I'm still suffering physically from it. My joints and muscles haven't fully recovered and I've been feeling down about it. I've been feeling self pity and lethargy.
Perhaps I need to change my perspective and start living to my full potential like you are instead of pouting and grubling through the pain.
Thank you!

Opal
HG survivor
~7 month hospitalization on TPN. First born healthy Feb 7 2001
~Severe HG second pregnancy, made it to 10 weeks.
~Third pregnancy was hit with HG. Less severe than in the past due to aggressive pre-emptive treatment and a good support system!
Yelqotkwe Ella Opal July 22nd 2010
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opal
Been There Done That
 
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Joined: Sep 15, 2006 2:32 am
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